[Blue_Bird]

Possible trigger:

I want to purge so badly....... why did I let this happen.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Possible trigger:

I want to purge so badly....... why did I let this happen.

We are so hard on ourselves, no one is as hard on ourselves as us. Try to be gentle with you, you are just human and it's okay.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LucyD

We are so hard on ourselves, no one is as hard on ourselves as us. Try to be gentle with you, you are just human and it's okay.

Thanks Lucy How are you today?

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks Lucy How are you today?

I'm feeling alright so far. Going shopping for some food today. I made a list so I stay on target. How are you doing?

[Blueberrybook]

ED issues have decided to overtake bipolar mixed issues...overexercise, OMG. So wanting to trash the Seroquel and Lamictal, surprised I haven't yet. ED thoughts make me think I will lose more weight off them. And I really need to gain. Pdoc was not happy last time he saw me. Will schedule with pdoc again when our insurance gets straightened out (on COBRA until H's new insurance kicks in after 60 days), but H is only just getting it set up; he was a high school teacher before (now he's a visiting university professor), and the school district he worked at was closed until today, not to mention, the university got pretty deserted after Dec. 15 or so, and he was only told he had the job like Dec. 12 or 13.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

ED issues have decided to overtake bipolar mixed issues...overexercise, OMG. So wanting to trash the Seroquel and Lamictal, surprised I haven't yet. ED thoughts make me think I will lose more weight off them. And I really need to gain. Pdoc was not happy last time he saw me. Will schedule with pdoc again when our insurance gets straightened out (on COBRA until H's new insurance kicks in after 60 days), but H is only just getting it set up; he was a high school teacher before (now he's a visiting university professor), and the school district he worked at was closed until today, not to mention, the university got pretty deserted after Dec. 15 or so, and he was only told he had the job like Dec. 12 or 13.

Sorry you seem not to be doing too good. I know what you mean about wanting to trash some meds. I have done it before but withdrew very slowly. It's best to have Dr. supervision to do it which I don't always do since it takes so long to see mine. I truly hope things get better for you. EDs are a pain in the....

[Jessabee]

Helloo. I'm Jess, 26, and sliding into a relapse with atypical anorexia after being in remission off and on for 3 years... Restriction has been real...

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Jessabee

Helloo. I'm Jess, 26, and sliding into a relapse with atypical anorexia after being in remission off and on for 3 years... Restriction has been real...

Welcome! I know having an ED is very hard. I hope you feel free to share whatever you are concerned with here.

[LucyD]

Been on the tired side. Having coffee to wake up. I hope everyone is doing well but I do know how the EDs go...It's difficult.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm doing good. I'm almost literally not able to restrict because I'm freakin starving all the time since starting seroquel. I do have to be careful with not bingeing though, so I've been trying to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and drink more water

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Been on the tired side. Having coffee to wake up. I hope everyone is doing well but I do know how the EDs go...It's difficult.

How have you been? I had some coffee earlier to wake up too.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm doing good. I'm almost literally not able to restrict because I'm freakin starving all the time since starting seroquel. I do have to be careful with not bingeing though, so I've been trying to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and drink more water

Good for you not binging! Drinking water helps me, too. I don't have anything to really binge on on hand. That's about the only way I can avoid it. I've never felt like binging on veggies. I bought some celery and cauliflower to put in salads. Now to cut them up.

[Blueberrybook]

So sick of this stupid ED. Tired of wasting so much time & energy on it. Thought I was skinny then went to one of those stupid pro sites & felt like a whale. Been running a lot.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

So sick of this stupid ED. Tired of wasting so much time & energy on it. Thought I was skinny then went to one of those stupid pro sites & felt like a whale. Been running a lot.

I have been watching My six hundred pound life on TLC channel. When I saw how big this woman was I thought just how hard it must be for her but she had such a good attitude and lost more than half of her weight in about a year. I realized I need to have a more positive attitude about my weight and be more realistic in how I can lose my weight if she can.

I know you don't need to lose any weight. I was just thinking about that show and wanted to share that. The ED is full of lies about us. I'm realizing that. I thought I was so huge until I saw that woman and thought if she has that great attitude and got counseling, I can, too. I have a hard time talking about my ED. I tend to keep my thoughts about it to myself because when I do talk about it I end up getting worse for some reason. I can't figure it out yet why that happens, it's like I jinx myself. Not saying any of this applies to you.

We all do what is best for us. Are you still seeing a therapist about the ED? If so I hope it is helping.

[LucyD]

Weight loss goes so slow for me. But it is progress and even if progress is slow it is still progress. I really need to exercise but have gotten into a rut of not doing it. Afraid of the pain it will bring. I need to go very slow with it. I need to have patience with myself, too, which I find hard at times. There was a time when I jogged and walked a lot and did pretty good. I have less energy now but it's not impossible to exercise. Just have to be gentle with myself in all ways.

[Blue_Bird]

I sautéed fresh vegetables last night. They're really good. I'm going to have them with my dinner tonight.

I haven't been exercising either Lucy and I really need it. It's so cold out that I don't want to walk anywhere. But I'm hoping to get back into going to the gym soon hopefully. I can walk in almost all weather but 9 degrees was way to cold yesterday. My face and legs were frozen solid and I couldn't feel them just from a walk to the pharmacy and back.

I might do some yoga tonight

[Blueberrybook]

I'm having a hard time right now. Sorry not to be here for anyone else right now. Running like a maniac and know I'm not eating enough for that amount of activity. Starting to fool with (i.e., lower) my nightly dosage of Seroquel to whatever I feel like each night. Slippery slope.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I'm having a hard time right now. Sorry not to be here for anyone else right now. Running like a maniac and know I'm not eating enough for that amount of activity. Starting to fool with (i.e., lower) my nightly dosage of Seroquel to whatever I feel like each night. Slippery slope.

Sorry you are having a hard time. I hope it gets better.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I sautéed fresh vegetables last night. They're really good. I'm going to have them with my dinner tonight.

I haven't been exercising either Lucy and I really need it. It's so cold out that I don't want to walk anywhere. But I'm hoping to get back into going to the gym soon hopefully. I can walk in almost all weather but 9 degrees was way to cold yesterday. My face and legs were frozen solid and I couldn't feel them just from a walk to the pharmacy and back.

I might do some yoga tonight

I love sauteed veggies. Thinking of getting another membership to the Y. I think they may still have a discount program for those with low incomes. Wow, it's frigid where you live! I wouldn't go out in that but you may have had to. I hope it gets warmer there. I thought it was cold here but that's much worse.

[may24]

I've been feeling very unstable and hopless today, and I ended up bringing twice. I felt the urge to purge after the 2nd time, but I managed not to.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by may24

I've been feeling very unstable and hopless today, and I ended up bringing twice. I felt the urge to purge after the 2nd time, but I managed not to.

You've done well! Nice to see you here. There is always hope. Things do get better.

[LucyD]

I gave myself a "free day" yesterday regarding food-I ate what I wanted. Some call it a "cheat day." Really didn't go that wild with food but enjoyed a few ham and cheese sandwiches. Due to low funds I'm going to go shopping at Save a Lot this week to get cheaper foods. Have to watch the carb contents but that's not too hard to do. I have plenty of veggies cut up and ready to go in a salad, too. I'm trying to have more salads now a days and load them up with spinach, broccoli, green pepper, onions, cauliflower, walnuts, a little cheese and use balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil. Very good for the liver especially.

I hope you all have a progressive week and if not we can chat about it. Everyone has good days and bad days, good times and not so good times. I think we are all stronger than we think as we got through so much in life already and we can still get through everything.

[LucyD]

Got a good night sleep. Sleep is so important to function well.

What is happening with everyone? Nothing is new here. But Suzy dog is doing much better. Solid poop now!

[may24]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Got a good night sleep. Sleep is so important to function well.


What is happening with everyone? Nothing is new here. But Suzy dog is doing much better. Solid poop now!

That is so true! I was about to mention the same thing. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Sleep deprivation always affects my eating habits and general mood.
I didn't binge but I ended up overeating because I was exhausted and craving carbs... I couldn't go to the gym either (I'll try to go tomorrow because it helps me feel more regulated) But I'm doing better than I thought I would
I'm working on eating dinner earlier than I usually do. I'm doing well so far

@LucyD thanks for keeping this thread updated and bringing support

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by may24

That is so true! I was about to mention the same thing. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Sleep deprivation always affects my eating habits and general mood.
I didn't binge but I ended up overeating because I was exhausted and craving carbs... I couldn't go to the gym either (I'll try to go tomorrow because it helps me feel more regulated) But I'm doing better than I thought I would
I'm working on eating dinner earlier than I usually do. I'm doing well so far

@LucyD thanks for keeping this thread updated and bringing support

So good to see you here! I think many of us have days when we overeat, I know I do. Carb cravings...those are tough! Yes, getting enough sleep is something I struggle with, too. Sometimes it seems like I sleep in shifts. Four hours here, two hours there, one hour at times. I hope you'll be able to get a good nights sleep. Let's hope we all do!