[Blueberrybook]

I hope 2019 is a great year for all of us!

I didn't stay up for the fireworks. I'm very tired lately. I've only exercised yesterday & today, though I may have overdone it today. Think that weird strep I had with more flu-like than strep symptoms might have me taking a week, week & a half to get completely well. Not to mention, I will be glad when I am done with the antibiotic.

ED thoughts have me feeling guilty over not dieting and not losing weight. I exercise a ton, eat generally normally - with the exception of breakfast, don't know why, I often skip it, and I don't think I possibly eat enough calories to sustain my weight. I don't binge eat at all and suspect Seroquel is keeping me weight stable or it's a set point weight. Makes me want to stop Seroquel cold turkey and see what happens, which would no doubt be mania, but I get those thoughts of just tossing all the meds but the Adderall & Wellbutrin & keep some Klonopin around. I'd do it, except I have a family & responsibilities. Most especially I need to be careful not to pass this screwed-up disease to my daughter. I felt so guilty over having around 2 servings of Wheat Thins as a snack late morning when I hadn't had breakfast, what kind of messed up thinking is this anyway?!

[Blue_Bird]

I'm happy for 2019. I'm hoping to get stable again with the schizoaffective/bipolar symptoms. The past several months things have gradually been falling apart with my mental health. Psychotic symptoms again, not sleeping, panic attacks. I'm wondering what's happening to me. I mean, I've experienced this stuff before but I had a 6 month period of remission, it just seemed like I'd never have to deal with it again.

So to relate this to my ED, I haven't been eating anywhere near enough and a large percentage of the time it's not intentional. My mind races and hours go by before I realize I haven't eaten. Days just kind of blur together. I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow though. I haven't had food in the house the past week, just crackers and pretzels and a little bit of oatmeal. Again not intentional, I mismanaged my food budget last month. My fridge is empty, same with my freezer and cabinets. I've basically been living off that and coffee.

I plan on having a bagel with cream cheese in the morning though as soon as I run over to the store. I can't wait. I've been so dizzy and cold.

I hope I'm not triggering or upsetting anyone

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LucyD

So how is everyone doing at this the end of the year? Anyone have any resolutions? I seem to always break mine but I still can try again. I want to continue to eat nutritiously, I do allow for some snacks at times that may not be the best thing but that's life..lol. I think we all need a break at times. My main focus this coming year is to continue to try and improve my health. I take walks with my dog but this time of year it's cold so maybe I can start exercising indoors. I have been prescribed some physical therapy for my knees and neck. Haven't arranged for it yet, though. Hoping to get another car that is better than what I have so I don't have to worry about driving a beater so much. That's because it is falling apart..lol..not so much how bad it looks.

That's great that you have a dog. I have two cats and they love to run around the house and play so they keep me active.

I want to improve my mental and physical health, and make wiser decisions.

Just started doing stress relief yoga at home

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I hope 2019 is a great year for all of us!


I didn't stay up for the fireworks. I'm very tired lately. I've only exercised yesterday & today, though I may have overdone it today. Think that weird strep I had with more flu-like than strep symptoms might have me taking a week, week & a half to get completely well. Not to mention, I will be glad when I am done with the antibiotic.

!

Try to get some rest, pushing yourself to run when sick isn't good

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

That's great that you have a dog. I have two cats and they love to run around the house and play so they keep me active.

I want to improve my mental and physical health, and make wiser decisions.

Just started doing stress relief yoga at home

Suzy helps me so much with just being here. She has a health problem right now I am working on. May be taking her to the Vet.

Making wiser decisions is something I need to do to and not be impulsive. Sometimes I have acted on impulses and regretted it. Stress relief yoga sounds great! I'd have to start with beginners. I am so out of shape. Everytime I start to exercise my body hurts so bad that I quit. Got to get some cold packs to put on the aches and start the exercise again.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Suzy helps me so much with just being here. She has a health problem right now I am working on. May be taking her to the Vet.

Making wiser decisions is something I need to do to and not be impulsive. Sometimes I have acted on impulses and regretted it. Stress relief yoga sounds great! I'd have to start with beginners. I am so out of shape. Everytime I start to exercise my body hurts so bad that I quit. Got to get some cold packs to put on the aches and start the exercise again.

I hope Suzy will be alright

I'm out of shape too so I'm starting small

[Blue_Bird]

I just had a bagel for breakfast, first actual meal in several days. I feel so much better!

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I hope Suzy will be alright

I'm out of shape too so I'm starting small

I hope to get an appointment to take her in today. I've been cleaning up diarrhea off the carpet for 3 days now. I feel real bad for her; not sure why she is sick. This is the second time in 2 mos.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I just had a bagel for breakfast, first actual meal in several days. I feel so much better!

Bagel sounds good~

[Blueberrybook]

Woke this morning to a low weight, made the stupid ED happy. Starting to obsess more over the bones and stuff, did really bad and went on a pro-ana site, then thinking OMG, my weight isn't low at all; I'm fat. I'm a mess. I ran in the rain for an hour this morning, wanted to keep going, but I had to get back in to make lunch. Contemplated another rain run in the afternoon but resisted and read some of my library book. Need a better day tomorrow.

My emotions are all jumbled up; I have no idea how I feel right now. H starts his new job tomorrow, and hopefully, we will get the insurance stuff sorted quickly.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Woke this morning to a low weight, made the stupid ED happy. Starting to obsess more over the bones and stuff, did really bad and went on a pro-ana site, then thinking OMG, my weight isn't low at all; I'm fat. I'm a mess. I ran in the rain for an hour this morning, wanted to keep going, but I had to get back in to make lunch. Contemplated another rain run in the afternoon but resisted and read some of my library book. Need a better day tomorrow.


My emotions are all jumbled up; I have no idea how I feel right now. H starts his new job tomorrow, and hopefully, we will get the insurance stuff sorted quickly.

Do you think you should have a scale at home? I'm just wondering because I know it's very triggering. I have one and I'm trying to use it less.

[Blue_Bird]

How are you today Lucy?

[Blue_Bird]

I ate completely normal yesterday and got groceries

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

How are you today Lucy?

Doing okay, thank you. I'm just tired. Need a nap. Took my dog to the Vet and got some medicine for her. Been so worried about her. The Vet was very nice and helpful.

I hope your day goes well.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Doing okay, thank you. I'm just tired. Need a nap. Took my dog to the Vet and got some medicine for her. Been so worried about her. The Vet was very nice and helpful.


I hope your day goes well.

Thanks, I hope you're able to get a nap and the medication works for her

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks, I hope you're able to get a nap and the medication works for her

I got a 3 hour nap. Been so worried lately my energy is zapped. I am relaxing more after seeing the Vet. He gave me some much needed answers.

[LucyD]

[LucyD]

Where'd everybody go? I hope I haven't chased anyone off; I love you all here! How are you all doing?

Suzy had an almost normally formed poop today~Yay for poop~lol.

I'm feeling relaxed and good today. Took a longer walk with Suzy. The weather here was nice for Winter, hope it stays that way.

[Blue_Bird]

Glad you're doing well Lucy and that's great to hear about Suzy

I'm doing okay. I was prescribed seroquel so I take that tonight along with my other meds. I was on it several years ago but don't remember how it affected me. I'm kind of worried about weight gain, I lost a lot of weight getting off Invega and I don't want to gain it back because of being on an antipsychotic again. I guess being stable is more important though. It's just been making me a little nervous and having eating disorder related thoughts.

I ate normal today. I've been eating chili which I love. It's just the crappy canned kind. I mean it's not that bad, it works since I'm really craving chili so bad but I would like to get the stuff and make an awesome homemade pot of it sometime , nothing beats that lol

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Glad you're doing well Lucy and that's great to hear about Suzy

I'm doing okay. I was prescribed seroquel so I take that tonight along with my other meds. I was on it several years ago but don't remember how it affected me. I'm kind of worried about weight gain, I lost a lot of weight getting off Invega and I don't want to gain it back because of being on an antipsychotic again. I guess being stable is more important though. It's just been making me a little nervous and having eating disorder related thoughts.

I ate normal today. I've been eating chili which I love. It's just the crappy canned kind. I mean it's not that bad, it works since I'm really craving chili so bad but I would like to get the stuff and make an awesome homemade pot of it sometime , nothing beats that lol

I hope the Seroquel works for you. I take Risperdal for sleep and mood. I think being on a low dose of it helps me with the overeating aspect. I love chili and have been thinking about making some for about a week. I bought some turkey breast, though, and want to make that first. Been eating baked pork chops with a mix of quinoa, brown and red wild rice and brussel sprouts.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Suzy helps me so much with just being here. She has a health problem right now I am working on. May be taking her to the Vet.

Making wiser decisions is something I need to do to and not be impulsive. Sometimes I have acted on impulses and regretted it. Stress relief yoga sounds great! I'd have to start with beginners. I am so out of shape. Everytime I start to exercise my body hurts so bad that I quit. Got to get some cold packs to put on the aches and start the exercise again.

Originally Posted by LucyD

I hope the Seroquel works for you. I take Risperdal for sleep and mood. I think being on a low dose of it helps me with the overeating aspect. I love chili and have been thinking about making some for about a week. I bought some turkey breast, though, and want to make that first. Been eating baked pork chops with a mix of quinoa, brown and red wild rice and brussel sprouts.

Sounds good! I love brussel sprouts

[Blue_Bird]

So I've been doing well today. Have urges to restrict along with urges to binge which is strange, but I've been able to eat when I'm hungry and mostly healthy stuff. Part of me wants to go to the store and buy......a lot of junk food. But I can't do that. I'm really hungry right now and am not sure why, I ate like an hour ago

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

So I've been doing well today. Have urges to restrict along with urges to binge which is strange, but I've been able to eat when I'm hungry and mostly healthy stuff. Part of me wants to go to the store and buy......a lot of junk food. But I can't do that. I'm really hungry right now and am not sure why, I ate like an hour ago

I know what you mean about wanting to restrict and binge. I struggle with that too. Been eating healthy for the most part. Hope to continue that but who knows. I haven't been keeping any junk food in my apt. If I do I eat it and all or most of it.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Woke this morning to a low weight, made the stupid ED happy. Starting to obsess more over the bones and stuff, did really bad and went on a pro-ana site, then thinking OMG, my weight isn't low at all; I'm fat. I'm a mess. I ran in the rain for an hour this morning, wanted to keep going, but I had to get back in to make lunch. Contemplated another rain run in the afternoon but resisted and read some of my library book. Need a better day tomorrow.

My emotions are all jumbled up; I have no idea how I feel right now. H starts his new job tomorrow, and hopefully, we will get the insurance stuff sorted quickly.

The EDs sure can keep us wonky can't they? Mine tells me not to eat and then after I finally eat it tells me to eat more...so now I drink water and wait for the ED idea to pass and it does and I don't feel hungry then. I am sick of my scale. I stuck it under the kitchen stand so I don't jump on it so easily.

[Blue_Bird]

Not sure what possessed me to bring half a gallon of ice cream home... but here I am