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#376
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Hey, sorry I haven't checked in for awhile.
Today's the 3rd year since my mom died so I've been thinking a lot. I'm doing well in terms of food though, I haven't binged or purged in a very long time. If I'm completely honest with myself, I've been restricting some.. although I hate admitting that. The spring semester starts next week so I'm excited about that Hope everyone is doing okay ![]()
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() LucyD, may24, mwaxy
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![]() LucyD, may24, mwaxy
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#377
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Quote:
__________________
One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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![]() Blue_Bird, may24
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#378
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Quote:
![]() Thank you! I love college too, learning is so much fun. Especially without all the drama that goes on in high school lol
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#379
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Quote:
I am trying to stay on the diet for diabetes and liver disease. I have modified what I eat. I'm getting better at it. Was diagnosed with the 2 diseases in the past year and just doing the best I can. Some days I'm better at it than others but learning from my mistakes. I need to lose weight for both diagnoses. I have lost a good amount but also need to lose more. My weight loss is very slow but any progress is good, and I have to remember that at times when I get frustrated with it. Yes, college is much better than high school. I had a really hard time in high school but loved college and learning things I could really apply to life. ![]()
__________________
One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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![]() Blue_Bird
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#380
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I made myself eat dinner today. I really didn't want to. I mean, I wanted to but I was afraid to because I'm scared I won't lose weight or will gain but I made myself. I realize that restricting as much as I have usually always ends up with an out of control binge at some point so I might as well just eat some to keep that from happening
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#381
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Quote:
__________________
One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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![]() Blue_Bird
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#382
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Good on you Blue Bird. Great thinking, this thinking leads to positive progress, I need to practice this far more often
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![]() Blue_Bird, LucyD
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![]() Blue_Bird, LucyD
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#383
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How is everyone doing now?
I have had a great day and feeling good and happy. So grateful for this and something to remember when I have the bad days.
__________________
One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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![]() Blue_Bird
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![]() Blue_Bird, may24
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#384
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I had a pretty good day in terms of my eating disorder. I realize I have to eat. I feel upset somewhat though when I think I'm not good enough if I'm not a certain size. I feel like eating is giving up some of that "control"
I drank way too much coffee today and have been struggling with voices so I'm trying to relax. I need to cut back on the caffeine seriously. I've already felt strange and disconnected today and that's not helping. I did drink water though, more than usual so that's good.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#385
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Quote:
![]() ![]()
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#386
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Quote:
__________________
One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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![]() Blue_Bird
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#387
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I'm here. Having issues getting meds filled with stupid temporary insurance. Had part of a back molar break off, and I won't have dental insurance until Feb. or March. It doesn't hurt at least and it wasn't a lot that broke off, though I am sure I will be shelling out money for another crown. Even with insurance, dental work is so expensive.
Today we are having a surprise birthday party for my mom, who turns 60 Jan. 23. My birthday is tomorrow, Jan. 20 (turning 41, ugh, I'm old!), when I will run out of Adderall, so happy withdrawals to me. Exercising too much and not eating enough for it, but my weight is pretty stable though I am more compact, muscles from running I guess instead of fat. I see the pdoc Jan. 24. He will not be happy I didn't gain weight, but I didn't lose either (sometimes I go up, sometimes down). He has a stupid scale though that weighs 5 lb. less than other scales (mine, my PCP's, the dermatologist). Maybe he sets it that way on purpose for ED patients to make up for waterloading, who knows? I need to drink some fluids to re-hydrate after running this morning. A cold front came in, and certain directions had me running against an awfully strong wind. I did eat breakfast though, raisin cinnamon bagels with margarine.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
#388
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Quote:
![]()
__________________
One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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#389
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Today was a good day! I went to the gym and it made me feel happy and more connected with myself.
I'm so glad that I'm able to enjoy exercising again; and not keeping track of the calories I burn or worrying about how much I should eat after a workout... Exercise used to be a huge part of my life and my eating disorder took that away from me for many years. I'm feeling grateful for recovery ![]() I hope everyone is doing well ![]()
__________________
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![]() gottastopdepression, Gr3tta_0, LucyD
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![]() Gr3tta_0, LucyD
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#390
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Well, this is my first visit to this forum...ever...anywhere. I have identified depression and anxiety...but, in reality, this area has plagued me my entire life.
I have learned (recently) that alcohol consumption triggers an intense craving for carbs...breads and candies. I mean loads. Then, well, I need to throw up... then, well... I am exhausted and depressed... then, well, husband can't see that any of these conditions/diagnoses/behaviors are r-e-a-l. then, well... I'll eat/drink/purge... anybody relate? ![]() |
![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#391
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Hi all 😊
A note on teeth/dentistry - if they in the back (not visible to others) and likely to have multiple and/or cascading problems, I've found it can be far less expensive and less painful to extract them. I will go over the moon to save front teeth, although i haven't had to, but I've had a few in the back pulled and no one knows but me. No one can see it, even with optional anesthesia i HAVE to have it was cheaper overall, and i can still chew anything i want totally normally. Lots of dentists won't offer this if there's another (more expensive) option, so it's always worth asking. I never have a purge free day, but i have had less purge days. As can sometimes happen for my particular body, this actually results in more weight loss, but i still count it as a win. Its my goals, not anyone else's.
Possible trigger:
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![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#392
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Overate less than usual today, I'll take it. One day at a time.
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![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD, may24
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#393
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It's my birthday today. Took today off from running, had some birthday cake. A little bit of guilt about skipping exercise & sleeping in, but I'll manage. Still having problems getting my Adderall script filled. New temporary insurance isn't even there on the weekend. I'm now completely out. Tomorrow is a holiday too, and my doctor's office will be closed. Frustrating.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() 88Butterfly88, LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#394
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#395
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I've had one tooth extracted near the back already because of horrid dental problems. I will see about this cost of a crown on this one, if the dentist thinks it worth saving or not once I have dental insurance.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() LucyD
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![]() LucyD
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#396
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Happy Birthday Bbb. Sorry, not posting today.
__________________
One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#397
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Quote:
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#398
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Happy Birthday Blueberrybook!
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#399
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I hope everyone is doing okay
![]() I have been struggling with negative thoughts lately towards my body so I wrote them down in my journal then wrote down alternative statements that are actually true and not coming from the eating disorder. It's easy to just let it go and believe all the negative thoughts about myself and go along with all the stupid destructive ideas but I have to start fighting back and counteracting them
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() Gr3tta_0, LucyD
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![]() Gr3tta_0, LucyD, may24
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#400
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Happy birthday Blueberry
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__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
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