[fallaximago]

Today I'm fasting for a medical exam. I really want to eat but I know I can't, even though the thought keeps replaying in my head. By the time I'll be done it will be lunch time. I really want to stay focused and eat a decent amount of food but not more. I'm also retraining myself to drink lots of water.

[LucyD]

I see my pcp later today. I weighed myself and they are going to weigh me today. I want to have something to eat this morning but afraid my weight will be higher by the time I get to the dr. in the afternoon. I'm getting tired of worrying about this stuff.

[fallaximago]

Originally Posted by LucyD

I see my pcp later today. I weighed myself and they are going to weigh me today. I want to have something to eat this morning but afraid my weight will be higher by the time I get to the dr. in the afternoon. I'm getting tired of worrying about this stuff.

Try to stay strong. I need to convince myself that, if I'm hungry, I need to eat something healthy like a fruit or a yogurt in order to avoid repercussions on my weight. You could try to do the same. Do you drink enough water? Anyway, I'm sending you a hug

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by fallaximago

Try to stay strong. I need to convince myself that, if I'm hungry, I need to eat something healthy like a fruit or a yogurt in order to avoid repercussions on my weight. You could try to do the same. Do you drink enough water? Anyway, I'm sending you a hug

Thank you. I ate breakfast and lunch. Decided a few pounds more doesn't really matter. We all fluctuate during the day and days. I do drink enough water but today needed to drink some more. I've had a lot of coffee, though.

[Blueberrybook]

Ran too much again. Just finishing breakfast at noon. Maybe around 1, 1:30 I can have lunch.

Anyone else have problems with scales & obsessive weighing? I had gotten so much better for a long time (didn't even weigh myself daily, maybe once a week or every couple of weeks), but now I am having the problem of weighing myself every time I use the bathroom even though I know my weight is most accurate first thing in the morning, not during the day when I've been eating & drinking (not talking alcohol, things like water, Diet Coke, coffee). And after running, if I sweat a lot (usually I do), I will weigh less than my first weight of the day, and the stupid ED loves it.

I wish scales had never been invented. Why do we let a number define & determine our self-worth? It doesn't make sense and yet I can't stop it

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by LucyD

I see my pcp later today. I weighed myself and they are going to weigh me today. I want to have something to eat this morning but afraid my weight will be higher by the time I get to the dr. in the afternoon. I'm getting tired of worrying about this stuff.

I'm glad you ate. Let us know how your appointment goes.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I'm glad you ate. Let us know how your appointment goes.

Thank you. I got weighed and didn't weigh any more than I weighed at home. My dr. said I am doing a good job of losing weight, and getting my lab numbers down. I've had a lot of blood tests done and they all have gone down a lot and much closer to normal. So, it went very well. Now to figure out why I feel so down. Maybe it's the holidays coming up or other stuff. I don't know. Tomorrow is another day.

[Gr3tta_0]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Thank you. I got weighed and didn't weigh any more than I weighed at home. My dr. said I am doing a good job of losing weight, and getting my lab numbers down. I've had a lot of blood tests done and they all have gone down a lot and much closer to normal. So, it went very well. Now to figure out why I feel so down. Maybe it's the holidays coming up or other stuff. I don't know. Tomorrow is another day.

Well done Lucy! Great news! I hope this will give you a little peace of mind.

[Gr3tta_0]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Ran too much again. Just finishing breakfast at noon. Maybe around 1, 1:30 I can have lunch.

Anyone else have problems with scales & obsessive weighing? I had gotten so much better for a long time (didn't even weigh myself daily, maybe once a week or every couple of weeks), but now I am having the problem of weighing myself every time I use the bathroom even though I know my weight is most accurate first thing in the morning, not during the day when I've been eating & drinking (not talking alcohol, things like water, Diet Coke, coffee). And after running, if I sweat a lot (usually I do), I will weigh less than my first weight of the day, and the stupid ED loves it.

I wish scales had never been invented. Why do we let a number define & determine our self-worth? It doesn't make sense and yet I can't stop it

I learned a long time ago fluctuations throughout the day, or even over a few days, don't really mean anything. So there's no use letting myself get depressed, or get my hopes up over meaningless gains and losses.
I used to weigh too much for me, multiple times per day, but I've been able to successfully limit myself to once per day for quite awhile now. Sometimes i know the number may be stressful, but for me its always much more stressful not knowing.
One thing that helped me cut down to once per day weigh ins is where i keep the scale. Its slid under my dresser. I slide it out once while getting ready, then back out of sight it goes!

[Gr3tta_0]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Headed in to restriction the past couple days. Took a nap a little while ago and woke up with some pains in my heart. I ate and it went away...... really freaked me out...

I'm sorry you've been struggling so much lately.
Do you make yourself meal plans for the day/week? Do you think that would be helpful, or triggering? (I know you plan your shopping trips really well from another thread ) I hate to feel like others are controlling my food, but sometimes when ive made a plan of my own and stuck to it, it can help hit the "reset" button.
I hope you feel better soon.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Thank you. I got weighed and didn't weigh any more than I weighed at home. My dr. said I am doing a good job of losing weight, and getting my lab numbers down. I've had a lot of blood tests done and they all have gone down a lot and much closer to normal. So, it went very well. Now to figure out why I feel so down. Maybe it's the holidays coming up or other stuff. I don't know. Tomorrow is another day.

Good news on the health front!

Sorry you are feeling down. I don't like this time of year at all, holidays and food and fake happy pictures all over Facebook and in January, hit hard with everyone's diet stats, weight, pounds lost, exercise done, low cal recipes. I feel guilty I did not make a New Year's Resolution to lose weight (when of course, I am supposed to be gaining weight anyway). But I'd never make a resolution to gain weight, it just seems so contrary. Not that I can write all about it on Facebook either. Only a very small number of people in real life ever have known I've had an ED. Some of those may think I am over it. Some may sometimes see pictures of me and wonder if I have an ED, especially compared to the way I looked in high school. Nearly everyone in my high school class (1996) on FB has gained weight since high school, a couple stayed around the same, and I dramatically lost a very noticeable amount of weight, and I couldn't have been more than 5 lb. overweight to been with.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta_0

I learned a long time ago fluctuations throughout the day, or even over a few days, don't really mean anything. So there's no use letting myself get depressed, or get my hopes up over meaningless gains and losses.
I used to weigh too much for me, multiple times per day, but I've been able to successfully limit myself to once per day for quite awhile now. Sometimes i know the number may be stressful, but for me its always much more stressful not knowing.
One thing that helped me cut down to once per day weigh ins is where i keep the scale. Its slid under my dresser. I slide it out once while getting ready, then back out of sight it goes!

I can't really do that. Our only hard floors are the bathrooms and kitchens. My daughter often uses the master bathroom as much as the hall bathroom. We live in a house built in the 1960s, and the master bathroom was only later added in the 1980s, so it is tiny. H doesn't even like to shower in there; it's so small. H is thin, but he is very tall (6'4").

[LucyD]

The holidays can be hard. I don't even want to visit anyone. Don't want to have to watch what I eat and be ignored for the most part.

[fallaximago]

Originally Posted by LucyD

The holidays can be hard. I don't even want to visit anyone. Don't want to have to watch what I eat and be ignored for the most part.

I understand perfectly. We don't celebrate the holidays with relatives since we're not in speaking terms with most of them, the food part, though, is really annoying.

I've messed around enough, anyway. I'm drinking lots of water and trying my best not to give in to my cravings. I will not cave in this time

[Blueberrybook]

Hate, hate, hate the holidays. Can't wait until they are over. And my daughter's birthday is in the middle of it (Dec. 14). She is turning 11 this year.

[shovelhead]

Intermittent fasting. Pushed thru 11:30 am which is when hunger strikes me. Then it's much easier. It's 12:30 now. I only want to eat salad stuff today. No simple sugar/carbohydrates today. NONE. I'm talking about bread, etc. No bread today. Yesterday I ate 3 pieces of white bread & 1 tortilla! OMG

[LucyD]

I may get invited to a relatives for Thanksgiving. Don't know if I will accept yet or not. I bought a small turkey breast and froze it. I like turkey better than chicken which I got sick of eating this week. Good thing for dogs. lol..they like everything.

[shovelhead]

So far, so good. Broke my IF with pickles & raw brocolli. Good Stuff

[shovelhead]

Originally Posted by LucyD

I may get invited to a relatives for Thanksgiving. Don't know if I will accept yet or not. I bought a small turkey breast and froze it. I like turkey better than chicken which I got sick of eating this week. Good thing for dogs. lol..they like everything.

My dog gets alot of food that I'm skipping. It just goes bad cuz I won't eat it. I'm not celebrating Thanksgiving it's nice to visit relatives who are nice people, that u like!

[Blue_Bird]

Doing pretty good. Ate and exercised today. I still have bad moments, did last night but I was able to cope with the feelings by distracting myself and watching a favorite movie of mine I hadn't seen in years, which made me laugh

[Blueberrybook]

Ran again too much. The neighborhood must think I am a marathon runner or something as much as I run (though my mph speed is not very impressive).

Had breakfast, watched a show. Got a horrible panic attack and high anxiety. Took low dose Seroquel. I am prescribed 25 to 50 mg prn for this, haven’t needed it in awhile, did today. Conked out over 2 hours. I think I missed eating lunch? It was time to get my daughter from school when I woke up.

Dinner soon. Leftovers at least so no cooking. Drinking coffee trying to wake up. Low dose Seroquel almost never affects me like this any more (making me so sleepy). But I woke up at 1 AM this morning, couldn’t sleep, slept a little, up at 3 AM. Maybe just tired.

[Gr3tta_0]

Originally Posted by shovelhead

So far, so good. Broke my IF with pickles & raw brocolli. Good Stuff

I love pickles and pickled things. Have you ever had Japanese pickled radish? (Oshinko)

[Gr3tta_0]

My eating behaviors are just terrible lately.
I suppose i know this, although, i also feel like everythings fine. Its always fine. I suppose i have no desire to change them.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by shovelhead

My dog gets alot of food that I'm skipping. It just goes bad cuz I won't eat it. I'm not celebrating Thanksgiving it's nice to visit relatives who are nice people, that u like!

Suzy gets lots of food from me. I had to cut down on her food because she gained a lot of weight. Last Vet visit she lost 2 pounds! Good! Better for her. I skip her food now when I give her my food. That's for sure about visiting NICE people; not those who ignore you or more! I may cancel Thanksgiving and make my own food. I am a good cook and enjoy my food better any way...

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Ran again too much. The neighborhood must think I am a marathon runner or something as much as I run (though my mph speed is not very impressive).

Had breakfast, watched a show. Got a horrible panic attack and high anxiety. Took low dose Seroquel. I am prescribed 25 to 50 mg prn for this, haven’t needed it in awhile, did today. Conked out over 2 hours. I think I missed eating lunch? It was time to get my daughter from school when I woke up.

Dinner soon. Leftovers at least so no cooking. Drinking coffee trying to wake up. Low dose Seroquel almost never affects me like this any more (making me so sleepy). But I woke up at 1 AM this morning, couldn’t sleep, slept a little, up at 3 AM. Maybe just tired.

I may try to switch to Seroquil instead of Risperdal. Risperdal occationally gives me a very strange sympom of some alarming voice in my head or a loud dog bark--it's strange but alarming especially since it always happens when I'm about to fall asleep and keeps me awake. I took Seroquil once before and had bad constipation. I don't know what's best anymore for the intense anxiety. Can't get benzos where I go. Wish I knew where I could get them.