[Razzleberry]

First - a question - is there a board on here JUST for compulsive overeaters and not the anorexic & bulimics? Just because it's a different issue and things I say could upset some of you. But I need somewhere that I can just SAY it!

If you are bulimic, you probably shouldn't read this.



Anyhoo...uhm...yeah. I am a compulsive over-eater. I don't purge, I just binge.

I was doing SOOO great last year - I lost 40 pounds on Weight Watchers in about 6 months. I got down to the "overweight" category instead of "obese". But then I fell off the wagon and I've gained back 20 pounds very quickly.

More than one person has asked me - seriously - if I'm pregnant. One of those people being my OWN HUSBAND - and when he asked me, he hadn't touched me in over a month. So he KNEW I wasn't preg unless it wasn't his. Why on earth would he say something so rude?

Today, for lunch, I brought a nice little Lean Cuisine and some fruit. But nooo, I didn't eat that. I got in my car, in the rain, and drove to Jack in the Box. Got a big sirloin burger, super-sized fries, Dr Pepper, 3 egg rolls, and a chocolate cake.

I eat in my car, so no one can see me. I hide the evidence, sometimes I'll even stop at a car wash and vacuum out my car after lunch, just so my husband doesn't see the crumbs.

The other night, I ate an entire large Pizza Hut pizza - WHILE sitting on the couch watching "I Can Make You Thin" on TLC. Talk about ironic...

I just want it to STOP!! I consciously tell myself to STOP EATING but then I keep shoveling it in my mouth. It doesn't even taste good. Why do I still eat it???

I hate what I do to myself. I just hate it. I'm a lazy fat slob.

[RozG]

Hi Razzleberry

hope what i'm about to say doesn't offend you, advance apologies if it does!

you are NOT a fat lazy slob !!! ALL eating problems imho...whether anorexia, bulimia, over-eating...have a psychological reason behind them but everybody reacts differently. One person starves themself, another over-eats. That doesn't mean that one is any less valid of a problem than the other. i can't speak for others but i don't find your post offensive or anything..it's an eating disorders forum and there are many different kinds of eating disorders.

have you spoke to anybody about this recently? a T, doc, best friend etc? i'm sure you know yourself the first step to getting help is letting someone know you have a problem? and letting us know is a great start but imo you need to let someone irl know so you can get some proper help.

i'm sorry but i really don't know what else to say, i'm not great at advice. i just hope i haven't offended you? and i'm sure others here will have plenty of advice for you soon.

just please hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself, you'll get there.

[fatamorrighan]

I know how you feel; I use to eat like that too. Eating and then being depressed is a vicious cycle that is very hard to break. I went on every diet know to man, they all failed. I got the stomach surgery and lost 140 pounds, but I gained it back. The reason was I had not dealt with the metal issues I had. I had a lot of abuse issues and I drowned out my feelings with food. After years of therapy and work, I finally am eating a 1200 a day calorie diet, I work out five days a week, and am just starting to get control. You may want to look into the deeper reasons for this eating pattern; you also might want to join a support group like Overeaters Anonymous. They can be very helpful. My weight category is morbidly obese, but now I am changing that. I believe you can to. Good luck.

[BrnEyedGrl]

I totally understand. It is a vicious cycle of eating, then feeling guilty, then eating some more because of the guilt.
I deal with the same thing, it's all mental and people eat to escape some type of pain or problem. If you examine your life, you'll probably be able to see where this all started and why you medicate with food.
For me, it's wanting to be loved, it's anxiety, and depression. I know when I was truly happy in my life....food was not nearly as important, and I would lose all the extra weight.
You can PM anytime if you need to talk. Take care and just take it one day at a time!!!

<font color="purple">I know how you feel. I was a little upset about how everything seemed to be geared to the people suffering from anorexia and bulemia(sp?) which is great and all but there are other eating disorders out there like compulsive over eating and pica. (though a bit more rare I think, or maybe people just don't take it as seriously because it's clear that a person needs help when they starve themselves but not so much if they just binge...it's how society rolls I guess)

I'm not so much of a compulsive eater as an impulsive eater....if there is any difference between the two. I'm getting a little better, but it just feels like I'm taking one step forward, and then two steps back sometimes.

There is a big difference between struggling with an over-eating/compulsive eating problem and being "a lazy fat slob" </font>

[Anony]

You are definitely not alone. I struggle with this as well. I've been overweight my whole life and I've been on every diet known to man but several years ago (when my depression was at an all time low) I gave up on dieting and whenever I felt bad or down I would binge. I'm not hungry when I do it nor does it taste good. Sometimes I whine and pout to myself while eating because I don't know why I'm doing it. I do have to remind myself constantly that I'm not "a lazy fat slob" and that I just need help to get this under control. I wish us both (and anyone else who's struggling with this) the best of luck.

[Razzleberry]

Thanks guys. It does help to know I'm not alone. It's just that so many people - even professionals - don't consider this a "real" eating disorder. Heck, I was just looking in my mini-handbook of the DSM-IV (yes, I bought it...i'm weird!) and it only lists Anorexia, Bulimia, and then "Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified". It doesn't even list ANYTHING about binging without purging or other compensating behaviors (laxatives, etc.)

I just wish I could control it somehow.

[Razzleberry]

I binged again, last night, right after therapy. My therapy session did not go well....I posted on the Psychotherapy board about that if you're curious.

On my way home I stopped at Arby's...got tons of crap...shoveled it all in...then went to great lengths to dispose of the evidence before I got home. And then I still ate the dinner that my husband so nicely saved for me. Ugh.

[jennie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Razzleberry said:
Thanks guys. It does help to know I'm not alone. It's just that so many people - even professionals - don't consider this a "real" eating disorder. Heck, I was just looking in my mini-handbook of the DSM-IV (yes, I bought it...i'm weird!) and it only lists Anorexia, Bulimia, and then "Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified". It doesn't even list ANYTHING about binging without purging or other compensating behaviors (laxatives, etc.)

I just wish I could control it somehow.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well . . . actually . . . . Binging without purging and the use of weight control behaviors like laxative use is defined as "Eating Disorder NOS."

[mlpHolmes]

Hi Razzleberry! I feel like I'm reading my own biography - I sure can relate -I understand EXACTLY what your saying. You've probably experienced "if only you aapplied some willpower!" speech right? Yep, been there. People have no idea. I binged, no purging just like you, ~30 yrs! What FINALLY worked for me?? (1) I joined Overeater's Anonomous-like AA - I had it and (2) I lived "JUST FOR TODAY" I posted this in the PC Depression Forum, go there & under resources & online help, I would print this out for yourself & live 1 day at a time, forget yesterday,it's gone, tomorrow's not here yet so no need to worry. TODAY. Just follow the little print out. Binging "coping skill" started ~age 20,I have not binged in last 5 yrs (maybe a day during holidays but I get right back onto good nutritional eating)!
Result: I'm 5'10",a size 12 for 5 yrs.now, & I'm literally 1/2 the woman I used to be(was close to 300 lbs.it was hardly Secret binging) Great for self esteem too. PM me if you'd like I'll help you. **Be kind to yourself, (no more put downs,ok). I'm here for you!

[bebop]

I overeat as well. I hate looking in the mirror and even going out anymore. I hate walking by a window and see my reflection. errrrrrrr

[BalishBun]

Its a tough battle, but putting yourself down for your actions is not going to help.

[amy1101]

hey..
its so so so hard.
i understand where youre coming from. ive been diagnosed with bulimia because i purge usually at weekends over the minimum criteria for bulimia which is 2-3 times.. but still afterwards and still at other times i overeat. i eat and i eat and i eat with no compensatory behaviours. with no control, i just shovel it in and bear the consequences of feeling like total %#@&#! for a few days afterwards which usually results in me overeating again and again and again.
its a really horrible viscious cycle. all i can say is that i understand how you feel and im here if youd like to talk.
i also think mlpHolmes message is really inspiring, the live for today / one step at a time / minimal attitude fills me with a type of relief and contentment to an extent because it lowers and makes realistic those unnatainable expectations that people with eating disorders usually inflict on themselves.
hope today goes ok for you,
warm wishes from the uk
x

[ziggy1]

Razzleberry Don't beat yourself up about it....I'm just the opposite...I'm always being told I need to eatmore..!!

I had 800 calories today...I find it sad for me but I want back
into a 30 waist....

Do you Exercise??? Even fast walking????