[DechanDawa]

What do you do when you feel stuck?

I've ended up in the hospital with all my human rights revoked so I do some stupid things. If I'm in my right mind I make pro and con lists and discuss my situation with people I trust. What do you do?

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I've ended up in the hospital with all my human rights revoked so I do some stupid things. If I'm in my right mind I make pro and con lists and discuss my situation with people I trust. What do you do?

Hmm. Me? In the past a lot of things. Too much alcohol, drugs, legal and not so legal, toxic relationships, quitting good jobs, moving to and fro across the country and back, spirituality, meditation, went back to graduate school and earned rather useless degree, got rid of toxic relationships. In the past two years I quit smoking cigarettes, quit drinking for a year, extreme dieted, started training for a half-marathon, get rid of an extremely toxic psycho in my life, moved to a new apartment I hate, quit a good job, and now I feel unbearably anxious and depressed.

I absolutely must do something radical to shake myself and my life up but it cannot be negative or toxic. I kind of stopped training for the half-marathon and need to get back with that. I also need a new job, and I have no friends and am socially isolated.

I don't know. I hate when I get this way because I am afraid I am going to end up in the Emergency Room and I can't afford it.

I have always gotten unstuck by doing wild and not very wise things. I am not used to getting unstuck wisely.

PS I have been discussing my situation with friends and family but at this point they have nothing left to offer. Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to offer advice. I am not getting that kind of support.

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Hmm. Me? In the past a lot of things. Too much alcohol, drugs, legal and not so legal, toxic relationships, quitting good jobs, moving to and fro across the country and back, spirituality, meditation, went back to graduate school and earned rather useless degree, got rid of toxic relationships. In the past two years I quit smoking cigarettes, quit drinking for a year, extreme dieted, started training for a half-marathon, get rid of an extremely toxic psycho in my life, moved to a new apartment I hate, quit a good job, and now I feel unbearably anxious and depressed.

I absolutely must do something radical to shake myself and my life up but it cannot be negative or toxic. I kind of stopped training for the half-marathon and need to get back with that. I also need a new job, and I have no friends and am socially isolated.

I don't know. I hate when I get this way because I am afraid I am going to end up in the Emergency Room and I can't afford it.

I have always gotten unstuck by doing wild and not very wise things. I am not used to getting unstuck wisely.

PS I have been discussing my situation with friends and family but at this point they have nothing left to offer. Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to offer advice. I am not getting that kind of support.

I will be your friend. Honestly I have no advise other than to let the emotions flow from your fingertips to the keyboard and write about it. We are here to listen. I can relate to much of what you've written. ((HUGS))

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I will be your friend. Honestly I have no advise other than to let the emotions flow from your fingertips to the keyboard and write about it. We are here to listen. I can relate to much of what you've written. ((HUGS))

You are too kind. Tonight I am journaling, reading a lot of wonderful threads here on PC, thinking, resting, and trying to be calm.

I have told myself that my "task" during this difficult period would be to get through it without doing anything crazy. This is something new for me and it actually creates more anxiety, if that's possible. It's like another poster's thread about frustration tolerance. I am trying to tolerate this anxiety. Maybe it represents energy I need to positively direct.

So I am journaling about that tonight.

I think the task you've chosen to conquer is a good one. I'm trying to do the same thing. I'm redirecting pent up energy into PC and behaving myself.

I'm sorry for all you've been through recently....I've read some sad things in your threads and I'm sorry for all of it. Take good care of yourself and be gentle and kind to yourself too.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I think the task you've chosen to conquer is a good one. I'm trying to do the same thing. I'm redirecting pent up energy into PC and behaving myself.

I'm sorry for all you've been through recently....I've read some sad things in your threads and I'm sorry for all of it. Take good care of yourself and be gentle and kind to yourself too.

It is true. I just hit rock bottom, with so much sadness, and frustration. I hate it when I cannot see the path. However, I never, and I mean never give up. So I am posting and reading here on PC tonight and I feel more balanced.

I am so confused because I don't have a diagnosis, but I get this kind of mixed anxious/depressed state. I mean it seems like maybe a mood disorder. I don't know. Like I said it is new for me to try to contain it without doing crazy crap.

This is what I learned from my DBT workbook...but it is hard to practice. I live alone which is a very unhealthy situation for me. It is probably my main problem, or so I think. After my divorce I remember thinking that living alone was going to do me in more than anything else. So that is my real task here. To stay sane and find a way out of social isolation.

The psychiatrist I saw said that sometimes isolation just happens because of life events. But that it will drive anyone crazy. He suggested I could get out of it without medication, which is what has me peeved. I wanted a benzo script.

But I feel my strength flowing back. I do have a lot of inner strength. I need to learn how to focus and direct, and not be blown away by fear.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I think the task you've chosen to conquer is a good one. I'm trying to do the same thing. I'm redirecting pent up energy into PC and behaving myself.

I'm sorry for all you've been through recently....I've read some sad things in your threads and I'm sorry for all of it. Take good care of yourself and be gentle and kind to yourself too.

You seem to be doing REALLY WELL. Keep up the good work. You have a very comforting writing style, and a lot of wisdom. I hope you are proud of yourself because you are rocking it, girl!

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

It is true. I just hit rock bottom, with so much sadness, and frustration. I hate it when I cannot see the path. However, I never, and I mean never give up. So I am posting and reading here on PC tonight and I feel more balanced.

I am so confused because I don't have a diagnosis, but I get this kind of mixed anxious/depressed state. I mean it seems like maybe a mood disorder. I don't know. Like I said it is new for me to try to contain it without doing crazy crap.

This is what I learned from my DBT workbook...but it is hard to practice. I live alone which is a very unhealthy situation for me. It is probably my main problem, or so I think. After my divorce I remember thinking that living alone was going to do me in more than anything else. So that is my real task here. To stay sane and find a way out of social isolation.

The psychiatrist I saw said that sometimes isolation just happens because of life events. But that it will drive anyone crazy. He suggested I could get out of it without medication, which is what has me peeved. I wanted a benzo script.

But I feel my strength flowing back. I do have a lot of inner strength. I need to learn how to focus and direct, and not be blown away by fear.

Living alone would be very unhealthy for me too. Roommates cause problems too, but perhaps if you interviewed enough people you could find someone great in the future? Any support groups in your area? Social isolation can do things to you. We are VERY social creatures. Being social is a NEED. Think about it....the worst thing you can do is throw a person into solitary confinement! People would prefer to be out with the rapists and murders than be thrown in solitary! It's effectively torture!

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

You seem to be doing REALLY WELL. Keep up the good work. You have a very comforting writing style, and a lot of wisdom. I hope you are proud of yourself because you are rocking it, girl!

This made me cry happy tears. (((Thank you)))

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Living alone would be very unhealthy for me too. Roommates cause problems too, but perhaps if you interviewed enough people you could find someone great in the future? Any support groups in your area? Social isolation can do things to you. We are VERY social creatures. Being social is a NEED. Think about it....the worst thing you can do is throw a person into solitary confinement! People would prefer to be out with the rapists and murders than be thrown in solitary! It's effectively torture!

Yes, I am thinking of investigating moving into a house with others, or some kind of communal situation when my lease is up. Housemates can be a pain, but I think it may be the lesser of two evils. I truly do feel living alone is torture.

I was totally connected in my community until a major depressive episode hit me after my sister died, then I was victimized by a psychopath which I talk about on another thread. Within a year my life completely fell apart. Even I cannot believe it. I stopped volunteering, I quit two jobs, I cut people off, and I withdrew. This situation is totally strange because the psychiatrist who gave me an assessment a few months ago said he would call me a "social butterfly," based on our session where we talked and laughed a lot. My career involved counseling. My last volunteer job was working with therapy horses which was awesome. It was truly sad that the depression caused me to give up the horses but I couldn't do it. I was too sad.

Stuff happens. I am trying to dig myself out. I do know that living alone is absolutely the worst situation I can imagine and it is a big task for me to resolve this situation in the coming year. It doesn't suit me to live alone. I think it's really unhealthy for anyone, but especially for those with mental health issues. It breeds anxiety.

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Yes, I am thinking of investigating moving into a house with others, or some kind of communal situation when my lease is up. Housemates can be a pain, but I think it may be the lesser of two evils. I truly do feel living alone is torture.

I was totally connected in my community until a major depressive episode hit me after my sister died, then I was victimized by a psychopath which I talk about on another thread. Within a year my life completely fell apart. Even I cannot believe it. I stopped volunteering, I quit two jobs, I cut people off, and I withdrew. This situation is totally strange because the psychiatrist who gave me an assessment a few months ago said he would call me a "social butterfly," based on our session where we talked and laughed a lot. My career involved counseling. My last volunteer job was working with therapy horses which was awesome. It was truly sad that the depression caused me to give up the horses but I couldn't do it. I was too sad.

Stuff happens. I am trying to dig myself out. I do know that living alone is absolutely the worst situation I can imagine and it is a big task for me to resolve this situation in the coming year. It doesn't suit me to live alone. I think it's really unhealthy for anyone, but especially for those with mental health issues. It breeds anxiety.

You have been through so much! (((Hugs))). I like your enthusiasm and motivation to move beyond this. That is a very good sign.

I had a breakdown of epic proportions much like what you are describing here. I do relate to how you must feel in many ways. Unfortunately I have lingering mental wounds which cause me to feel I'm still being stalked by various organizations when I become very unwell. I'm trying to live a quality life despite this but I must admit the tide overtakes me sometimes. I do think I'm getting better though.

We can march together on this road to recovery and peace of mind. (((Hugs)))

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

You have been through so much! (((Hugs))). I like your enthusiasm and motivation to move beyond this. That is a very good sign.

I had a breakdown of epic proportions much like what you are describing here. I do relate to how you must feel in many ways. Unfortunately I have lingering mental wounds which cause me to feel I'm still being stalked by various organizations when I become very unwell. I'm trying to live a quality life despite this but I must admit the tide overtakes me sometimes. I do think I'm getting better though.

We can march together on this road to recovery and peace of mind. (((Hugs)))

You know what? It is okay, isn't it? It means so much to talk with people who understand. I think the anxiety I feel is from the stress of living alone. It causes all kinds of insecurities. So yeah. I mean it is a stress. When you say, "I'm trying to live a quality life despite this but I must admit the tide overtakes me sometimes," I totally relate. Absolutely and totally.

Now remember the 89 year old marathoner I talked about? Well, his wife died when he was in his early 80's...and he was traumatized by witnessing his son die in a horrific freak accident. It was horrible. He went to live with another son but he was depressed and traumatized, and as he said, half dead. And you know, he was already an old man so he figured he would just die.

He took up running because he needed distraction, and as he said, when he ran his mind was a blank, and he found relief. His running took him around the world, and he won many records. But that didn't take away his original wounds. He just found his way to cope.

I think this shows that we can still live, even when life wounds us. You are a perfect example. You were embraced by Psych Central after you were having some difficulties. Right? Because everyone recognizes your whole self. Also, you rescue yourself, I see.

Yes, I am a motivator. That is what I did before all the **** hit the fan in my life. I inspired and motivated others. But when I needed help I couldn't find it...and isolating is the worst thing.

That is why I am so happy you came right back on Psych Central. That was brave, and that was true, and everyone recognized that.

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

You know what? It is okay, isn't it? It means so much to talk with people who understand. I think the anxiety I feel is from the stress of living alone. It causes all kinds of insecurities. So yeah. I mean it is a stress. When you say, "I'm trying to live a quality life despite this but I must admit the tide overtakes me sometimes," I totally relate. Absolutely and totally.

Now remember the 89 year old marathoner I talked about? Well, his wife died when he was in his early 80's...and he was traumatized by witnessing his son die in a horrific freak accident. It was horrible. He went to live with another son but he was depressed and traumatized, and as he said, half dead. And you know, he was already an old man so he figured he would just die.

He took up running because he needed distraction, and as he said, when he ran his mind was a blank, and he found relief. His running took him around the world, and he won many records. But that didn't take away his original wounds. He just found his way to cope.

I think this shows that we can still live, even when life wounds us. You are a perfect example. You were embraced by Psych Central after you were having some difficulties. Right? Because everyone recognizes your whole self. Also, you rescue yourself, I see.

Yes, I am a motivator. That is what I did before all the **** hit the fan in my life. I inspired and motivated others. But when I needed help I couldn't find it...and isolating is the worst thing.

That is why I am so happy you came right back on Psych Central. That was brave, and that was true, and everyone recognized that.

I can see how you could be an exceptional motivator. You stay very forward minded and focused on success. Yes, it really does feel good to let it all out sometimes. It does get tiring keeping the brace face on 24/7.

I'm still a bit embarrassed about the previous PC thing but it was very nice to be embraced after such an event. I didn't expect it but I did hope for it

The story about the runner is very inspiring and brings a tear to my eye. People never cease to impress and amaze me. Thank you for sharing it.

[DechanDawa]

My mood was "Motivated" for months then this week I switched it to "Stuck" but now I think I will switch it back to "Motivated." Yours is "Coping" which perfectly suits you.

Yeah, maybe you were embarrassed by that incident...but what about what happened after? How everyone just welcomed you back? I mean, where else can you find such a community?

After talking to you I feel less embarrassed about my weak state right now. I mean, I can't deny it. I am not yet mentally or emotionally strong.

I do need to push myself because I am alone. I need money, and new connections. And where I live winter is fierce and I am kind of out in the country. I have an old truck and the thought of it out here on the highway in a blizzard causes me to feel anxious. I am sure I will survive.

I personally think surviving an assault by a psycho, or a psycho type organization, is...the top test. Sure, it is going to leave a mark. It is like being a war veteran.

Unfortunately our society demands that we hide our wounds.

I think everyone on Psych Central was so glad when you came back. I must say I was stunningly impressed...by you...and everyone.

Hey, I think I am getting unstuck! I am going to change my mood sign back to "Motivated"

I'm back!

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

My mood was "Motivated" for months then this week I switched it to "Stuck" but now I think I will switch it back to "Motivated." Yours is "Coping" which perfectly suits you.

Yeah, maybe you were embarrassed by that incident...but what about what happened after? How everyone just welcomed you back? I mean, where else can you find such a community?

After talking to you I feel less embarrassed about my weak state right now. I mean, I can't deny it. I am not yet mentally or emotionally strong.

I do need to push myself because I am alone. I need money, and new connections. And where I live winter is fierce and I am kind of out in the country. I have an old truck and the thought of it out here on the highway in a blizzard causes me to feel anxious. I am sure I will survive.

I personally think surviving an assault by a psycho, or a psycho type organization, is...the top test. Sure, it is going to leave a mark. It is like being a war veteran.

Unfortunately our society demands that we hide our wounds.

I think everyone on Psych Central was so glad when you came back. I must say I was stunningly impressed...by you...and everyone.

Hey, I think I am getting unstuck! I am going to change my mood sign back to "Motivated"

I'm back!

You are very right and very kind. Thank you for cheering me up today! And I was already pretty cheery so I extra appreciate it

I'm glad you are feeling less stuck now. I'm amazed by how I can be stuck one moment and then once I talk it out and really analyze my thoughts, can see things in an entirely new light. I hope this new light keeps shining for you

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

You are very right and very kind. Thank you for cheering me up today! And I was already pretty cheery so I extra appreciate it

I'm glad you are feeling less stuck now. I'm amazed by how I can be stuck one moment and then once I talk it out and really analyze my thoughts, can see things in an entirely new light. I hope this new light keeps shining for you

I hate being stuck. It is not in my nature. I am far from out of the woods. But I think I have set an intention, so thank you, because talking to you has aerated everything. I have been on Psych Central for days, and nights, posting. I kept thinking I needed to quit but at the same time others things weren't helping.

I tried to find a DBT group in my area this year, but unfortunately there isn't one, and it is hard to do DBT on one's own. But I feel prepared to move forward. Now, dream time for me, nightynight, dear ElsaMars.

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

I hate being stuck. It is not in my nature. I am far from out of the woods. But I think I have set an intention, so thank you, because talking to you has aerated everything. I have been on Psych Central for days, and nights, posting. I kept thinking I needed to quit but at the same time others things weren't helping.

I tried to find a DBT group in my area this year, but unfortunately there isn't one, and it is hard to do DBT on one's own. But I feel prepared to move forward. Now, dream time for me, nightynight, dear ElsaMars.

I plan to take DBT classes myself soon. They are weekly meetings more than classes but DBT techniques are used. I would suggest a workbook but it doesn't sound like that would be helpful perhaps.

Nighty night

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I plan to take DBT classes myself soon. They are weekly meetings more than classes but DBT techniques are used. I would suggest a workbook but it doesn't sound like that would be helpful perhaps.

Nighty night

Still wandering the PC hallways.

I have been doing the DBT workbook for about...I did it about 3 months before I moved than was disrupted. I have the big fat workbook with worksheets that Marsha Linehan put together. Yes, weekly meetings. Well, skill building. I hate to say it but it isn't rocket science. I wish there was a group in this area...but I will have to go it alone. And I am a certified mindfulness instructor so that piece is as familiar as can be. But to apply it...when one is hurting. That's the hard part. There is a DBT forum on here but not so active. Yes, I am going foreward with the workbook. I am going to dive in. (I got the wb on Amazon.com) I also had CBT workbooks but I prefer DBT. No, no, NO! Not party time! Sleepytime!

I've got some workbooks I need to work on myself. Like you said...it's not rocket science but also like you said, it's hard to put the techniques into play when we are feeling too low. Practice makes perfect as the old saying goes. Got to keep on trying.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

What do you do when you feel stuck?

This isn't a radical change but it's a shift and a new form of therapy. Do you know how to play any instruments? If you do, great but learn a new one. Pick up on a different instrument and learn it in and out. Focus on it, make it a part of your life. You could do the same with drawing, or hell, build something from a few slabs of wood.
I don't have any tips for drastic change, but picking up a new hobby you enjoy can bring that about in a positive way.

Good luck.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

This isn't a radical change but it's a shift and a new form of therapy. Do you know how to play any instruments? If you do, great but learn a new one. Pick up on a different instrument and learn it in and out. Focus on it, make it a part of your life. You could do the same with drawing, or hell, build something from a few slabs of wood.
I don't have any tips for drastic change, but picking up a new hobby you enjoy can bring that about in a positive way.

Good luck.

I do have a guitar...

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

I do have a guitar...

Haha, learn to play that thing like Hendrix.

[DechanDawa]

Haha. I actually like the blues.

There are so many things I want to do but there is something inside of me so weighted and heavy that prevents...it's a heavy heart, that's it.

Which is probably why I should learn to play the blues...oddly, when I am down the blues cheer me up.

I am looking for a miracle but don't think it's gonna happen unless I conjure it up.