Daily Comments #6- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

TV remotes need to come with a stand, like cordless phones do, so that when we cannot find them, we can press a homing button and it will beep until we find it.

I should be able to control my remote with my brain.

Er...my tv. I should be able to control my tv insomuch as I no longer need a remote.

Yeah...that's it...

Every time my mother yells at or ignores me (she does both often), I wish that I had a GF that wouldn't yell at me and would care about what I have to say.

No such female exists…

The morning commute was challenging. They had not plowed the gravel roads and I had 2 miles of drifts to get through before I got to a paved road. My heart was pounding pretty hard at times, but I did make it through and get to work on time. It left me a little frazzled though.

I find myself in a place where I wish I could grasp the circumstances in my life and remedy them. I wish I had that "whatever it is" that some people possess that allows them to continually rise above whatever life throws at them. I have had enough already and I want to get back up again...but I am so damn tired of getting knocked down only to get back up and get knocked down again.
I dont want to whine or be ungrateful because so many people in life have much worse issues and problems than I.
I am not homeless, out of work, hungry, thirsty, or unloved (I am single again after 23 years but my daughter loves me!). I b!^@h and moan about such petty things and yet they seem like mountains to me. I know we all have our own crosses to bear and sometimes I feel like such a fool for even complaining.
I don't hear voices (but I do hear a lot of "life" in my head, if that makes any sense) and I am not paranoid. I am a bit socially phobic, but that usually passes quickly as long as I can find someone to talk to.
I have a rather nice apartment, clothes, shoes, food (baking a tropical fruit cobbler as I type) and drink. My SUV is 12 years old but it runs good and looks good too.
So then why do I feel so out of sorts? Like I don't belong? Like I am waiting for something or someone...does anyone else out there feel like this?
Sorry to ramble on. Just planting my thougts.
I do hope you who read this have a great day...kind of like Truman...good morning, good afternoon, and good evening!

Kinda been talking to a new guy....but....i dont think I am ready to date or anything like that.....I wonder if I ever will be.....sigh

I am enjoying (with a small blip, this morning) the longest stretch of feeling good that I've had in a long time. Wish I could celebrate it somehow. But along with feeling better comes the 30,000 things that have been put on hold for the last 6 years, all vying for attention, and overwhelming me a bit.

On the good days, there are not enough hours in the day. On the tough days, the clock cannot speed its hands around fast enough for me.

Ah, well---at least I have my thyroid medicine now. And access to a counsellor.

What is the chat icon with the code //8 that's in between the lemon and the coffee mug? I've been obsessed with that all day.

I think it is a bag of flour to represent baking or cooking.

I was good after work and went for a walk. I ate healthy at work. Why did I feel compelled to rebel when I got home? Mmmm chip and dip pop and fried chicken...

I slept more today and made spaghetti at home instead of buying food pre-made. I feel much better.

Hungry ...cant sleep.... and hate being told ''don't talk about this with others''

annoyed that I'm a little stessed about things that won't change, and the possibility of chaos again.

I have been chatting with my ex again and doing my best to reconcile the marriage and family that I destroyed. To be clear, my daughter still loves her daddy and for the time being, always will.
So the ex and I are that Eagles song "Best of my love"
"You see it your way
And I see it mine
But we both see it slipping away.
You know we always had each other, baby
I guess it wasn't enough
but
Here in my heart
I've given you the best of my love"

I kinda paraphrased that last line or two. So I don't know if we are talking now just to make peace with our past or what. Either way, I am still on the lookout for someone to love me for me...not what I have or what I can or cannot provide....just me.
How is it that homeless families can stay together thru that kind of hell and yet other families crumble? Why do women stay with men who have multiple affairs (physical ones) and get beat, abused, etc and yet THEY rise above and fix it or reconcile...and yet others dont? I guess it depends on the people in the ralationship.
I feel like no matter how much of our problems lay at MY feet, my ex will never be satisfied or feel vindicated enough.
My cross to bear.

Just more comments and thoughts. Sigh.

Maybe I'm having too much fun?

Decisions decisions decisions.....

So I went to see my attoney yesterday, and guess what. He could not find my file so any of the questions I had, his answer was, "sorry, I can tell you because I can't find your file", and that was said to every question. Ummmm, why have an appointment if you can't be prepared? I have seen my file, it is very big its a big pendeflex file, so how can he "miss place that"?

I have not been doing well lately tbh. And tonite I was feeding my horse and he swung his head and hit me in the head and now I have a big headache. Wow that really hurt, he really hit my head hard with his big damn head. My neck is aching too.

Ugh....why did I get up today?

Sweet Dreams and a better day tomorrow!

-Fleeing Bellocq

Tomorrow is payday. Can't wait.

Why can't I get my eyes to focus properly today?

More coffee is required...

My finger hurts like crazy today after I broke it yesterday

I think I could write a novel about how frustrated I am with getting misdiagnosed yet again. The good news however is that I've finally gotten in to see a competent psychiatrist and she actually gives a **** about helping me figure out what's going on with me and how to manage it effectively.

I have to admit that I've reached a point where it's a bit unsettling when someone agrees with me here.