cancer and family history

hon you know I have been where you are. that is the problem hon. they don't or can't think of anyone except that next drink. I am so sorry you are going thru this. is there anywhere you can go for a few days just for you?

" and not have to be on pins and needles "

To go through your life living on pins and needles for whatever reason is desastrous for the mind as well as the body. You can do this for just so much time and then you go down yourself. You become emotionally a wreck and you desapear in the shadow of the other person.

I understand that your partner is sick but YOU matter too. You can support her but just to a certain degree. I hope I am not harsh here but I think she needs to do her share too.

Your life matter. Your feelings matter.

I wish I could help you out. I wish I could find the right words.

((((((((((((WMD)))))))))))))

>>>.... Bop ,, Just ,, >>... I hear yas !! Reason for mad face ?? ,, Welllllllllll ,, Her Dad just called and it be about 11 am est. U S . >.... And I suppose to wake her up and make sure she eats ????

Wait one F ing min. >>... Let me recall for about a year I tried to do that ... [ worked out real well ] NOT !!!

First day back and the [ excuse this word plz ] >> b**ch ,, Already wanting a babysitter ? >>. NOT ME ..>>. Been there done that ,, [ how soon they forget ] I QUIT !!!

She did group meetings and some 1 on 1 counseling ,, I reminded her that I am sure they told the patients there that they are responsible for their own recovery and progress !!!!!>>.

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>>.* grumbles *.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((WM)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You are entitled to be angry

You are entitled to be tired

You are entitled to, after more than 10 years .... a life

You are entitled to take care of YOU .... and you are NOT being selfish

You are entitled to drop her at her dads

HE IS HER DAD......LET HIM BE A FATHER

Don't get me wrong WM, I've spoken to Donna, I have felt sorry for her .... PITY OVER ....... you are my friend ...... IMHO you have done enough ...... she is old enough to make her own decisions..... she choses this after everything you have done???????

Take her to her father........ live YOUR life ............

I love you, Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxoxxotightest hug in the world .......

sorry if this is a strong opinion, but i only have your happiness in mind here

I agree with Jinny...you are such a nice guy, and you are such a good person, but you have to live your own life too. Sometimes, people never change no matter how much we want them to do so.

Bop >>>. My Friend >> The thought is so much a shoulda been a long time ago ,, But To , as few times as I asked her family to give me a break ,, as I was breaking into pieces ,, I had to gather myself up ,, and Put My responsibilities on hold ..

and so now ,, ?? ,, I dare to try to be Happy and be new Beginnings ?
Knows that a viper has no rattle .......................................

My Jin ,, I so have done this place as I felt was expected >.. and those of her kin ,, >>. would not trade places ..

And even now after her 2nd visit to de-tox ,,,, I have the finger pointed in my direction >> and the venom of the [ her ] self inflicted pain >> spat upon me . { ? }

* shakes head * as I still try to move her to complete her own journey >> while excepting the fact >> that mine will carry a deep scar ... which will take time to heal ,,, Patience .

Clyde ,, as I read your words a few times over ,,,, I had to conclude ,, the changing of another is as to their own mindset >> and Not that of anothers ,, no matter how we / or others ,, so wish .

But I never was a good guy ,, or person for so long ,, Until I was patching up the wounds and tenderly treating the soul >>. to revive the spirit ....

then to only feel the sting of indifferance >.. that so many seem to be as common place as a winter flu or a summer cold .

Thank You Clyde ... ya have a way of achieveing another to see again the worth of their being . Thank You .

Just ..... The thought that you have ever been harsh to anyone ,,??,,

You did find the right words ,,,, Your life matter . Your feelings matter .

Thank You Just .

Dear I_W MD,

I have so many good feelings about you and your future.

I am so glad you do not give up on your survival, even in the midst of this self-destructive scene developing around you.

We know that a drowning person will reach out and grab anyones arm, and grab ahold of it - to try and stay afloat.

This may be happening, only the drinking is destroying any rescue attempts. I know this and you do too.

The problem is that a person might take the outsretched arm and pull the person attached down with them, and drown them both, yes?

Then is it better to release the hold - especially if it is going to destroy two people?

Ii is really sad about her family, and how they won't appreciate all you have done - and will not take this burden from you - even for a week!
It says alot about the characters involved here, doesn't it?

I might get a babysitter from the outside, (not these relationships), through an agency, and just get out from under to clear your head and help yourself breathe and figure out a few things for your own life.

You can do this for yourself. You are alive and need to recharge or release.

You owe it to yourself because you are a special, good, loyal, devoted person who needs to build himself up and if that means releasing the hold to others, do it ... do it w md.

You are worth it!

Love,
Night

bird ,, I actually had some of her work friends wanting to sit with her ,, But she was ,, NO .

But the New Path I will be taking >>.... Will be more smiles and For Real ,, A much more equal footing ,,, I have so not liked >> having no say .

I have beleagured this topic looooooooooong enough...

This will be last post here except to acknowledge support .

First I must say I am so gratefull for all that have posted here to help me maintain my sanity as I relate it to my selfworth .
_______________________________________________________________
Much LOVE in the truest way as cyber can be used to show and feel .
_______________________________________________________________

My warmest affection !

So after a release from de tox of about a week >>> this person I would watch do harm to herself >> and still care about as if they were but a wounded animal that allowed me to care for till they were better enough to walk sturdy and strong again on their own ..... for the last 2 days has just felt they are ,, or have no blame to admit to for their short comings ,,, Is drinking again .

So as true to myself as I would never not go one more round to help ... I asked all the why questions ,, why go through all this that I have previously posted here .

Why believe all others are to blame ??? This peep will continue on their spiral down ,, and I told them >> It will not be while I watch .. And with the evil look that anyone that has dealt with a self absorbed take no responsibility for their own actions alchoholic knows ... Not a kind look at all ......... I said I will go and make a new life for myself ..

THE END .

I wasn't going to post here anymore ,,,,,but ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Now I have to deal with her not being able to walk .....not cause she drunk ....but it seems she has lost feeling on her left side >> left leg ,, and partially left arm . I have to what ?? .....wheel her around now >> well I figure ,, ya have to learn to walk again >> best use my walker [ that I not use anymore ] LOL.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal>>>>........goes nuts. * slaps head *.

Did she suffered a stroke?

((((((((((((WMD))))))))))))))))))

Hold on tight!

Hi Just ,,,, The other eve I had to take her to a MRI imaging place >> but she couldn't stay still for the tech to get clear pics ,,,, so this eve She has an appointment for a pet scan and I have some valium to give her an hour prior ,,so >> I reckon they will do the imaging they wanted the other night at the same time .

* grumbles * .................................looks to see if punched ticket says " REFUND UPON REQUEST ".

Well ... last eve she had a pet scan [ looks for cancer ] >>. found something suspicious in her brain .

Went today for MRI ,, she does have 7-8 tumors in her brain ... quess that be why she not able to walk so well .

Now her cousin and I are going to have to have a serious talk with her >>>.. Does she want treatment ? >>>........or ?

xoxoxo

keeping you in my positive thoughts.

I feel so bad for you all. This is so much.

bird ,, Great to see ya back >> Hope all has gone well for you in your treatments and >> you know [ surgery ] >>...

Ya know how people say " one foot in front of the other " ? >>..Reckon this is the "now I know what they mean part " .

I'm sorry for her and for you.

Thank You Just,,, Well she doing radiation and steroids >> she not walking well >> but with walker ,, she getting stronger a bit .

I am kinda staying in not say much mode >> But ,,,,, ....... Some strains are just Monsters >> and > ,,,,, > looked at pet scan and Head MRI >> this is when ya realize >> ,, >> ,, some of these things never die >> ,, just migrate and find new Homes .......

.......I am kinda stuck at this point.
....wanting to write about this phase that is happening / approaching,,,,.

??????...I would think there be books out there ,, that relate to something along the lines >>>,, When the Doctors say .." The end can only be prolonged , now is the time to get your affairs in order ".

And the person battleing this Mo Fo crap ,,,, is now wanting painkillers .


wmd.

I am here for you and her hon. We love you.

I'm here, too. I'm sorry you and she are having such a hard time. You can vent, talk, yell or whatever else you need!