Jasper, my brother

So I turned 16 today.
Not sure what to think...
It's just one of those '1st things without...'
No Jasper to be excited for 2 when opening the presents
Just me now...
He will never be 16. He will always stay 13..

Hugs to you my sweet, it does get better honestly it really does.

((((((((((Blue)))))))))))

Happy Birthday

Blue, I'm sorry I have no words of comfort. You have been through so much and my heart aches for you. I hope peace will come to you one day soon.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Omg i dont get mad easily but im just SHAKING right now
I go to this site thats supposed to help with grieving when u lost someone
I talk to someone and suggest they may have depression and she gets all defensive about it.. ok... nvm
Then someone new comes in and tells me my loss is less worse then his loss 'cause he lost his son'. And when i tell him he shouldnt say such things cause he doesnt know how it feels for me... This woman tells me lucas calm down you've already upset me once this night.

I'M FUMING

Blue ,,, I know you have been through the ringer ,,, .
But I also know you as a Very Kind Soul .

Our Spirits may be fractured ,,, But they will Never Be Broken .
WMD.

(((((((((((Blue)))))))))))

I'm sorry you had to go thru that! Plz don't go back on that site! You didn't deserve that!!

Take Care

I just wish i could be with him. its tempting sometimes.. sigh.

And Blue ,, me young Friend ,,, Please , allow ATM , that to only be a rare sometimes ,, and the tempt will subside ....

You still have much more to do and offer !!
WMD.
Corky.
.

I agree with WMD. You have much more to do and to offer. You are a good, brave, strong kid and you will do great things and life won't always be this painful.

So I've been on this chat someone suggested to me a while now. Its a grief support chat/site. We were talking about losing a parents and some other things.

I said i didn't think i would miss my parents/grief much if my parents died. Said i'd probably be relieved.
So someone said 'that's horrible'. I said well they are horrible. so that fits.

So the whole room fell over me and said i couldn't talk about wishing my parents dead because there are people who wish they could get their back.
I said no i dont want them dead. I just said i dont think i would grief much over them.

Someone said how would you feel if someone said they wished their brother dead. I said I would wonder why.

So... it's not ok to say how i would feel about my parents if they'd die.
I said sorry i said something and left. Why do i keep getting these responses?
First someone invalidating my loss and now this.

What do you think? Is it wrong or inconsiderate to talk about how I feel about my parents in a chat like that? I don't know... I keep so much in and then I say how I feel and BAM everyone falls over each other to tell me how horrible it is etc.

Like I said... What do you think?

Blue ,, my young Friend >> even when you say WTF ,, I can only imagine a sense of humor abounds deeply in you ,, and besides ,, We stand tall >> for OUR Loved ones we have Lost >> and IMO >> I think that is all that counts ,, opinions ?? everyone has one >> and an a**hole too .

Take Care My Friend >> and stick with P/C ..
WMD.

(((Blue))) as humans we have a difficult time putting ourselves in someone else's position, especially if we haven't been in a similiar situation. I would imagine that these people are grieving the loss of a loving, beloved parent and your words sound harsh to them.

If it makes you feel any better I completely understand what you're saying, although thank God not what you're feeling. My brother is the only other person on this planet that understands the childhood we've lived and the experiences we've had. We can communicate without words when discussing things.

There is also the possibility that people have some preconceived notion. It's not always what we say, but what people hear that cause a problem. It's unfortunate that the people you were chatting with were unable to put their own grief aside to understand what you were trying to say.

I was much closer to my father than my mother. When he died I made the comment (to my Aunt, his sister) that I was happy that it happened in this order. She was very angry at first but she did take the time to understand what I was saying. Had my mother died first, my father would have died in inches every day perhaps returned to drinking and I would not have been able to endure that. Is it wrong that I am not as affected by my mother's grief as I would have been by my father's? Probably, but we can't really change the way we feel.

((((Blue))))

I have had deaths in my family. I think any grief a person feels is in direct proportion to the nature of relationship we have with that person. If its a close relationship we grieve a lot. If we are not close to that person for whatever reason we don't grieve as much, if at all.

Don't let anybody dictate how you should and shouldn't feel.
The circumstances of a person death also affects us differently.
Some people are sick for a very long lime and some people are gone in an instant. Grief is a very individual for each person.

Hang in there hun.

Possum

Blue, from their position, having lost a very much loved parent, and likely having little experience of abuses like others have had, your statement likely felt cruel. It may have felt invalidating to them, in that it denied the level of their own grief.

And of course, it seems that you felt invalidated in return by the harshness of their comments to you.

Their responses/feelings/understandings are about them and their own experiences. Yours are about you and your experiences.

Neither is wrong. Just probably each stance doesn't have enough understanding or apprecation of the other to be mutually supportive, especially given that the topic is grounded in such deeply emotional issues.

Bottom line: they are where they are, and probably can't support you much. Not because they are 'bad' or intentionally hurtful or 'wrong'. Just because they are where they are.

today ...... sucks..

Blue ,, these days are part of the " where peeps are at " in the Why , & Cry place ......

{{{{{{{{ shoulder Hug }}}}}}}}} ,,, walks along side by side .


even if it is raining .........

WMD.

(((((((((((BLUE)))))))))))

I'm sorry

Hang in there, ok?

not looking forward to summerbreak, at all. And its in like, a week.
School sucks too... though
well.. we'll see how this goes i guess.
To much time to think
gonna be long boring and lonely

Hi Blue, I have not spoken to you in ages. I am sorry for your loss, the one person you cared about beyond all else. You were, and still are, a good brother. Jasper was blessed to have you.
re: the chat place you spoke of, It's hard when you feel people who are supposed to get it just don't. For me the anger acted as some kind of protection that I could let go of in bits and pieces.

You are a courageous and loving soul and it appears you are very well loved here. I wish you peace.

(((((((((((Blue))))))))))))

it would have been his 14th bday in 2 days... its jus so so so so hard. time heals all wounds they say... yeah right.

(Blue)))))))))))) I have lost many ppl in my life. But never a sibling. And you are young too. I want you to know Im so sorry. I know this is so very very hard.
Yes in time it heals. But that time and pace comes in your time. No one elses.
You will always remember him. You will always love him. Sadly you prolly will feel sad at these times. Please know I care and you matter very much.
Take all the time you need ,,,kind one
my thoughts are with you