[katheryn]

awwwwwwwwwwwww im so sorry about that,
((((((((((((rhapsody)))))))))))

((((rhapsody)))))))))))
I am so sorry
will pray for you lots

[sujunew]

((((((((((rhapsody))))))))))

in my prayers... and in my thoughts...

[MyBestKids2]

((((((rhap)))))))))))

keeping you close in my thoughts and heart, please keep us updated!


Dee

[(JD)]

(((((((((Rhapsody)))))) Oh this can be so scary! Hopefully whatever it is is contained, and needs little treatment. Do good self care! It's still not definite (a double false positive has happened) but it's definitely taking your concern.

[Rhapsody]

Thanks to everyone that has been here for me and that will be here for me after I see the specialist on Feb 25, 2008...... I promise to try and not let this issue concern my mind to much and to wait and see what the new doctor has to say before I worry.

[Rhapsody]

Just needing to VENT.........

I fell apart yesterday morning (crying / sad and thinking of every reason I should have cancer and die from it) - for the last thing my husband said to me before he went to bed last night was "you are so irritating" just because he asked me to do something right before he walked into the bedroom for the night and I asked him to write it down on the paper he had in the kitchen for me on the frig - I asked him to do it instead so I would not forget about it in the morning and not to mention that I was in indisposed in the bathroom at the moment.

I woke up got a shower for the day and when I saw my face in the mirror all I could think of was...... if I am "so irritating" then why does he stay around after 25 years and if I am "so irritating" then maybe they all would be better off with me..... then the tears came and I could not stop them.

***********************

Matters are ok between the two of us today - and to be honest he probably is not even aware how his careless comment the night before effected me.

[sabby]

(((((((((((((( Rhap ))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and that hubby wasn't more compassionate. Could he be feeling scared and frustrated about your papsmear and having to see the specialist and doesn't know how to express himself properly? Maybe he is lashing out in a difficult way because he doesn't know what or how to discuss his feelings?

I'm not trying to stick up for hubby......what he said was not nice at all. I'm just thinking that sometimes when we can't express what we are afraid of, we do tend to lash out in different ways no?

The world would not be better off without you hon. I hope that deep down inside you know that! I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this. Remember that education can be your friend in all of this. Pick your doctors and caregiver's minds and ask all the questions you need to about possibilities (good ones too!).

Both my daughters and I have had abnormal papsmears...and cancer also runs in the family. What we had was tissue that was considered pre-cancerous and we had procedures to remove those cells. The procedure for detection is called a colposcopy and here's a link to it -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colposcopy

I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts hon. I know how hard it is to stop from thinking the worst. It's very possible this is NOT the worst. I hope you can go with that thought!


sabby

[January]

((((((((( Rhap )))))))))))

I know about pap smears and the problems that can arise, both from a very personal level, and from schooling. Please send me a pm anytime and I'll explain things the very best I can.

I know this can be absolutely terrifying. I'll help you any way I can.

Hugs,

Jan

[sujunew]

((((((((((rhapsody))))))))))

[Rhapsody]

Well, I saw the Specialist today..... and we are looking at a few problems here.

First off... the Abnormal Pap Smear looks as thought it is HPV (Human Papillomavirus) and that my cells are pre-cancerous. I have to wait four more months to repeat my pap smear (3rd one) - then we can do a follow up HPV DNA Testing to determine what route to take.

I opt for a Hysterectomy - as my baby boy just turned eighteen and I am no longer in need of my uterus.

Secondly... I am going to be having surgery to fix a prolapsed bladder & uterus that has created some problems with incontinence and pelvic pain.... so I will be out of commission for a few weeks when I have the surgery.

Third... I need to have some more test done on my bladder and its functions as the doctor did not like how some of the test from today came back.

BTW - I had never been thru a female exam like the one I had to endure today - *head shake*

* * * * * * * * *

The upside of the day was getting to meet my new doctor..... He is Egyptian and I loved being able to talk to him about his life back in Egypt and his life / family here in the USA - plus he is a Christian (which is rare as most Egyptians follow the Muslim Faith).

[bebop]

hon I am sorry you are going thru this. a piece of advise on that bladder..do not let them do the sling procedure! it won't stay. there is another procedure they do called mmk I believe it is. they stitch the bladder to the pelvic bone. I had both done so I speak this from experience. I too would opt for the hysto. my daughter has the hpv and has such a hard time with it. my thoughts and prayers are with you hon.

Rhapsody:

I have had many different types of diagnoses with my PAP Smears including polycstic ovaries and possible endometriosis. Then, nothing. It is understandable that you would think of cancer if your family has had a history, but remember that it doesn't automatically means the worst. My Aunt was diagnosed with cervical or ovarian cancer in the late stages (fourth). When they opened her up, they said a litre of cancer cells spilled out and it was all over her abdomen now. Once the surgery was done and she had her chemo....it was completely removed and she is back to her old self again.

REMEMBER though, this PAP smear does not mean cancer. If it is cancer, you are most likely in teh very early stages. I wouldn't be too woried at this point. But I can understand wanting to be prepared for the worst.

We are all here for you whatever the outcome. Personally, I feel very optimistic about it. Keep your chin up.

[Rhapsody]

Thanks for the love, support and advice...... I am trying to hang in there and to not worry until I must - or need to.

I am looking at having surgery next month - and Bebop it is not going to be the sling as I have already decide against that one.

[bebop]

rhap that is good then! it has it's advantages but geesh it don't last. I think mine lasted about 10 months or a little over that. pee'd my pants for another year then had the mmk done and love it 8 yrs later!

[wisewoman]

Well, If you look at a diagram of a female's body, if you have everything taken out there is nothing to hold up the bladder. The HPV stuff is very scary. I have a young friend who has lost most of her cervix and is doing well. She has to have frequent checks but is doing well.

[Rhapsody]

Did any of the ladies that has gone this same thing ever have a lot of lower back pain when you started taking medicine for the incontinence? - as I started taking Enablex this week and I now find that I have severe back pain & a lot more internal pain when my bladder is able to obtain fullness..... ouch I hate it.

I would call my doctor if I were getting those symptoms. Pain is not normally an accepted side effect.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Ingridave2 said:
I would call my doctor if I were getting those symptoms. Pain is not normally an accepted side effect.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

The pain has always been there (doc knows about it) and that is what some of the surgery is for - but having my bladder full makes the pain worse compared to the pain when my bladder was just half full before I had to go and void.
... Doc is doing more test on my bladder & kidneys after the surgery.

The pills are helping - as I use to void 10 -20 times a day..... but now with the pills I am down to around 5 times (all full bladders).

[BalishBun]

I am overdue for a pap.

I hope you are okay Rhap. ((((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))))))

[Rhapsody]

UPDATE:

Going in for my follow up apt today after being on medicine for a month......... Wish Me Luck - Keeping Fingers Crossed.

[Christina86]

Good luck ((((((((((Rhapsody)))))))))))))))

Hope all goes well.

[Rhapsody]

I saw the doctor today....... and I have to go back on May the 1st for more in depth studies (test) on my bladder & kidneys as my doctor found out that mine are not working as they should...... plus he will be performing more studies on the precancerous cells on my cervix.

Surgery for the bladder lift is set for June 23, 2008.