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Old Aug 25, 2005, 05:07 AM
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Perzephone Perzephone is offline
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Just a question, and contemplation, not si... and I'm not even sure if 'General' is the appropriate topic, but here goes.

When I was born, not only was I a breech birth, but I was also born blue & had to be revived. When I was 11, I got hit by a car & died three or four more times, only to be resuscitated each time. I don't have a lot of memories from being hit by the car, other than one point where I was standing on a hard metal table and screaming. I didn't get the real sensation of floating above the room watching them w/the crash cart, or seeing 'the tunnel'... After the screaming episode, the next conscious moment I had was being in the ICU a week later, starving, needing the restroom & trying to get out of bed w/a broken leg & a thigh-high cast and failing miserably.

But ever since then, I have times when I feel like I'm just not supposed to be here, that my soul or what passes for a soul, fled my body during one of those times and I'm just the 'living dead', a walking, talking automaton with no real purpose, no destiny... just waiting for my time to come around again. Or maybe I'm living a stolen life - that my resuscitation took someone else's incarnation opportunity away, and the Universe just sort of stuck me here, like a missplaced and lost extra in a major movie scene.

Is anyone else here a NDE survivor, and do you ever have these feelings of not belonging or being lost in your own life?
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  #2  
Old Aug 25, 2005, 10:13 AM
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so sorry about your past experiences but wow...what an interesting post........i have not experienced anything like this but i hope that someone else can relate better and give you some answers
  #3  
Old Aug 25, 2005, 10:35 AM
darkeyes darkeyes is offline
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I think I may have had this, years ago. But there is a positive way of looking at your experience, like maybe you "do" belong here, on earth, you "do" have a purpose, and you will fill it before it is your time. This can be the very reason you survived, and came back from near death. I feel that is why we may have not left, but was pulled or cast back. This was an interesting post, and it will be interesting to see how many have had this experience. Mine was a feeling of extreme calm and it left me with that feeling for quite some time after coming around. I do not know if I had been near death, but it was during minor surgery, when I opened my eyes in recovery, it seemed nurses and the doc were borderline frantic that I seemed to not be awakening as soon as I may have supposed to be, and I felt physically terrible, my lips were bruised and swollen, I assume from oxygen, but I never had that happen with previous surgeries. Other things seemed strange too. Till this day, I feel it may have been a NDE and the medical staff didn't want me to know, being that I didn't know,so why tell me, right? No one was witness, it doesn't matter anyway at this point, I survived, I am here today, and that is all that matters. Near-Death Experiences (Trigger?)
I just want to say to those, "do NOT feel you don't belong here on earth, never think you have no purpose, you do.
Please take care,
DE

(((((((((( to all at this post/thread )))))))))))))
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Near-Death Experiences (Trigger?)
  #4  
Old Aug 25, 2005, 11:02 AM
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bonaire bonaire is offline
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Not sure what to add. I've just read a book from P.M.H. Atwater who said she died 3 times in the same year and had some feedback on NDE.

I don't know if it's possible for a body to live on without a soul. Of course, I've met some people I would suggest that this happened to them (semi-kidding). Keep searching - why not feel that these challenges are your life's work?
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  #5  
Old Aug 25, 2005, 11:35 PM
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I tend to agree with Darkeyes....in that we would not be here without a purpose.....even though we don't know what it is.

I don't know it the experience I had was near death or not. I was taken down to the ER after an OD in the hospital. I don't remember anything much about it......only when I came to I was in ICU with a breathing machine doing my breathing. My husband was at the foot of my bed saying my name when I came out of a 24 hour coma, I remember seeing nothing but a black screen with my profile in the bottom right corner of the screen.

They said I had gone code blue & had to revive me when I quit breathing......I never really got the details on the whole situation. My whole family was out of town at the time so my husband only got the information that they gave him too......My pdoc & psychologist never talked about it either.....kinda a black hole in my life.

Debbie
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  #6  
Old Aug 26, 2005, 03:50 AM
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Perzephone Perzephone is offline
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I don't know - I just feel like I drift most of the time, like a dandelion seed or untethered balloon or something. On another site I visit, we've been talking a little more in-depth about purposefulness... someone says that everyone touches other lives in some way, but I never feel like I've really deeply touched anyone else, never had an impact. And most of the time, I don't feel any impact from anyone else, either.

Maybe the child I was before I died had some purpose, but that purpose was ended with the deaths - and the adult I am now is just an accident of circumstances & modern medicine.
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  #7  
Old Aug 26, 2005, 04:18 AM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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You know you left out the positive posibilities for your life.......

It is entirely possible that the person you are now hasn't gotten to its time to touch another life yet.....it doesn't always happen on our time frame...it happens when it happens...just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't meat that it won't.

What I see in your possibilities are all negative thinking.....in that mind set, even if someone does come along for you to deeply touch, you may be so into your negative thinking that you will miss your chance.

There are two sides to every coin & all you talk about is the negative.....open your mind to ALL the possibilities & don't limit yourself to a narrow, negative path.

Debbie
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
  #8  
Old Sep 07, 2005, 02:46 PM
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Zorah Zorah is offline
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Yes, we have had 2 NDEs, with the tunnel & the whole bit. The 2nd time we were watching everything that happened from up by the ceiling. We believe that the 2nd time we were given a choice whether to go on living or go through the gate. The first time that person at the end of the tunnel said it wasn't the right time.
We don't think you COULD come back without your soul or whatever that bit is, if it stayed the body would have died.
I'm sorry you feel so bad, but whatever is wrong I'm SURE it's not that. PM me if you like anytime, NDEs are scary, but I think you are misinterpreting what happened.

Hugs if OK,
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  #9  
Old Sep 07, 2005, 03:32 PM
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jennie jennie is offline
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I agree with darkeyes. Every time I think back to bad things that have occurred in my life, things eventually make sense. There was meaning. There was purpose. I don't understand why things have to go certain ways. But, I believe it all has a purpose. I have a purpose. You have a purpose.
  #10  
Old Sep 07, 2005, 06:26 PM
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January January is offline
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Hi Perz,

I am sorry you are feeling aimless and adrift and I wish so much the little girl you used to be suffered so much. Please know there are no accidents in the universe and that child's soul stayed because it was not time for her to go yet. You do have a purpose. You just need to find it. Who knows what wonderful thing your purpose is!

Cheers!

Jan
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  #11  
Old Sep 07, 2005, 07:13 PM
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Taonuviel Taonuviel is offline
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I almost drowned when I was somewhere between 5-7. We were at a lake and the sand under my feet broke away. I was bobbing up and down - couldn't touch the bottom, couldn't swim - but I remember this strange calm feeling, and thinking clearly to gulp for air when I bobbed up. I saw a teenager point me out to my father, who then came out and saved me - but he never saw a teenager. I'm convinced it was an angel directing my dad to see me.
Ought to convince me I'm meant to live...
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  #12  
Old Sep 07, 2005, 09:21 PM
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Babieca Babieca is offline
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I hate to ride in the cattle car section when I fly. A screaming two year old all the way across the Atlantic cured me of ever putting up with the noise and crowding again. When I finished my tour the company booked me a window seat for my cross-country flight. It fringed on cattle car country so I tried to upgrade but nothing was available. I decided to book a much later flight. I decided to visit some friends at their office while I was still in town and was at Broadway and Chambers on 9/11. I watched the plane with two of my workmates aboard hit my friend's office. 'Nuff said. Screwed me up for a long time.
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  #13  
Old Sep 08, 2005, 12:42 AM
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Perzephone Perzephone is offline
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Although I appreciate all the positive reinforcement, all I feel like I'm doing is waiting, biding my time if you will... eventually, it'll come around again & hopefully there won't be any gung-ho doctors or EMT's around to interfere. I'm not pushing the issue or trying to make it there anytime soon...

It's like one of my t-shirts says: Life: It's sexually transmitted. And always fatal.
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For every ailment under the sun, there be a remedy or there be none. If there be a remedy, try to find it. If there be none, then never mind it.
  #14  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 10:35 PM
sambolivesley sambolivesley is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perzephone View Post
Just a question, and contemplation, not si... and I'm not even sure if 'General' is the appropriate topic, but here goes.

When I was born, not only was I a breech birth, but I was also born blue & had to be revived. When I was 11, I got hit by a car & died three or four more times, only to be resuscitated each time. I don't have a lot of memories from being hit by the car, other than one point where I was standing on a hard metal table and screaming. I didn't get the real sensation of floating above the room watching them w/the crash cart, or seeing 'the tunnel'... After the screaming episode, the next conscious moment I had was being in the ICU a week later, starving, needing the restroom & trying to get out of bed w/a broken leg & a thigh-high cast and failing miserably.

But ever since then, I have times when I feel like I'm just not supposed to be here, that my soul or what passes for a soul, fled my body during one of those times and I'm just the 'living dead', a walking, talking automaton with no real purpose, no destiny... just waiting for my time to come around again. Or maybe I'm living a stolen life - that my resuscitation took someone else's incarnation opportunity away, and the Universe just sort of stuck me here, like a missplaced and lost extra in a major movie scene.

Is anyone else here a NDE survivor, and do you ever have these feelings of not belonging or being lost in your own life?
When I was 20 (32 now) I had a major spinal operation. In post-op I bled out and was clinically dead for 7mins 38s (a long time apparently). Obviously they revived me and I'm still here to tell the tale. But I am so glad, in a strange way, to have found this post. I have had the exact same feeling ever since that day. I felt stuck. Waiting. It has led to me being quite a cynical and depressed individual. I am only now starting to talk about it and move on. But it's not been easy. So thank you for atleast showing me I am not alone.
  #15  
Old Aug 17, 2013, 01:20 AM
Anonymous59365
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After an OD (one in particular) I have a NDE. It was not pleasant with the tunnel and light. It was a pitch black place with no sound. I finally heard my uncle who has recently passed tell me "this isn't the way to go". I have felt like a fraud since then. Not really alive but not quite dead, either.
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