The Breaking Point

Is it fixed now?

Yes, how did you do that?

Well, it's ok on this page but on the previous page it's still a mess.

....personal magnetism!!! Wow when I get stressed... such aura!!!! all the way up to NH or CT???? rofl

No!

Quit messin' with these pages!!!!

jennie, look at the previous page of this thread. It's way too wide.

jennie, what are you talking about??? lol.

Well????? Maybe I'm reaching my breaking point with stresssssss? I can't believe I'm affecting my own computer enough to mess up a website, folks... honest! I mean it was fun to think that, but I'm NOT doing anything! Perhaps I need to leave the site for a whle so y'all can see if it continues without me??? TC

No, I honestly don't think it's anything you're doing Sky. Just giving you a hard time. I don't have a clue what the problem is but it's happening on other forums now too.

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So many things come to mind when I think about this: determining just what IS a breaking point, are there different breaking points within each person, what might be the "signs" of warning before reaching those points? Are your breaking points just an exacerbation of feelings that you don't wish to feel, or are they serious deviations from the normal thus constituting a brief psychotic break from reality?

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Finally the page is back to normal and I can make a decent reply. (I hope it's decent anyway)

For me, most of what you said in the above applies. There are usually several signs that cause me to think I'm getting close to my breaking point. I do believe that we have various kinds of breaking points ranging from being triggered into feeling things we don't want to feel to being past the point of believing we can control our actions with any regularity.

If I feel triggered, the first thing that happens seems to be that my thinking is focused only on the one thing. If I'm unable to control that thinking and "change the channel", then my actions will start being more spontaneous in trying to deal with it.....usually resulting in less than perfect behavior. Recognizing that is when I find I must change whatever I can because I'm close to my breaking point of being unable to think clearly about anything and being emotionally and physically spent.

Recently I was able to make a change because I saw that I was approaching my breaking point. Now I'm still working on regaining the emotional strength that I need.

Thank you Sky for your reply.....you really made me think.

FINALLY able to read it! Thanks to whoever fixed it.

WOW Sky... where did you get all this information from? Very good! Already formulating some ideas for myself. Thanks.

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Jennie said:
Most of the time I realize my breaking point is around the corner. But, once I had a psychotic episode (from stupid psych docs prescribing me too many meds) and everything changed. I'll say now . . . I don't have a clue what will set me off. Something horrible can happen and I'll manage fine. Something unimportant may cause me to flip out. Who understands my psyche?

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I find that I can hold things in for a very long time, even big things, and they build up and build up and I think I'm handling it just fine, and I look to everyone else like I'm doing just fine, but suddenly one more thing comes along - maybe a big thing, maybe a little thing - and it's just too much and I break down. I don't see it coming because I thought I was managing okay. Part of this is because the part of me that "handles things" doesn't communicate with the part that "feels things." It reminds me of those kinds of games where you keep pulling out one stick at a time, or stacking them, or adding marbles to the pot, etc., and you know that eventually it's going to blow up, but you have no idea when or who it's going to blow up on. I guess if it's your life that we're talking about, the answer would be to stop playing those games that you know are going to set things up so that they will eventually explode. Or in other words deal with each thing as it comes up and don't bottle feelings up inside. It's easier said than done though.

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I guess if it's your life that we're talking about, the answer would be to stop playing those games that you know are going to set things up so that they will eventually explode.

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I think playing games will hurt you every time! IMO it's best to avoid doing that at all costs. I've always found that being straight forward works the best for me.

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Part of this is because the part of me that "handles things" doesn't communicate with the part that "feels things

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How I feel about things usually helps determine how I handle things, so I can understand how one would have a lot of trouble if those two parts didn't communicate with each other.

Thanks for your reply Wendy.

I think my employers are being really insensitive and that's odd considering the job I have and that I was a heck of a lot more sane in some ways back then. that's hard to explain and complicated but I was more divided inside so they got super woman and expected they would always have superwoman. Well, I turned into super melt down in the 15th year on the the job.

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I think my employers are being really insensitive....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'm sorry wisewoman. I know it has to be really hard after 15 years of them being insensitive.

Hi Ozzie,

In this post you are dealing with one of the big issues we have to face in our illnesses; this is the breakdown.

Sometimes we don't know that it's going to happen, sometimes we have an intimation, and almost always other people around us will not be aware of the seriousness of our position.

When you had your first breakdown, Ozzie, it sounds like you didn't know it was coming until it hit you, subsequently we have some sense what's going on inside us, if we are lucky enough to be able to read our own illness. You were very wise to take action recently to protect yourself.

When I left teaching I knew that the game was over for me. Doctors talked about having a break, my department head offered a 'sabbatical' but it was like they were talking to me from the other side of a glass screen. My friends tried to hold on to something with me, but gradually everything had to go. I didn't even have the energy to talk to a counsellor. I slept almost all day, walked alone in the countryside, and had lots of different medical tests to try to explain my drastic weight loss. One acquaintance said later that I looked as if I was going to die.

I lost contact with every friend and acquaintance I had, and in my later recovery I moved with my wife to a different town, and now I don't see the old crowd at all. I don't want their judgements, or their embarrassment.

I believe that I have just described a breakdown!

Ozzie, I am quite sure that you did the right thing to drop the responsibilities if you felt an internal change coming on. I asked you at the time if you thought your illness was kicking in. The reason I asked that was because I sensed in your posts that your energy levels were low, and I felt (even through the medium of a web forum) that you needed to take care.

When you started to post here again, I was so relieved, as it indicates that you have not fallen compeletely flat. The important thing now is to put any irrelevant thoughts aside and allow yourself to go through whatever is happening and into recovery again.

I have been quite forthright in this post, as you did ask me to reply to your thread, and I think it deserves my very best shot.

You are a brave person Ozzie.

Good thoughts, M

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When you had your first breakdown, Ozzie, it sounds like you didn't know it was coming until it hit you, subsequently we have some sense what's going on inside us, if we are lucky enough to be able to read our own illness. You were very wise to take action recently to protect yourself.

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You are very right about my first breakdown. I didn't have a clue what was happening. After the first time, I think we do have more of a sense that things are beginning to head in that direction again. (even if we deny it to our good friend who noticed).
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I lost contact with every friend and acquaintance I had, and in my later recovery I moved with my wife to a different town, and now I don't see the old crowd at all. I don't want their judgements, or their embarrassment.


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> After my first breakdown I wanted to move too. It wasn't possible because of my husband's work and my four kids in school. I stayed home a lot and still do. I wouldn't venture over to the shopping center where I worked at an insurance company. btw, the insurance company fired me as a result of my being hospitalized. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
When you started to post here again, I was so relieved, as it indicates that you have not fallen compeletely flat. The important thing now is to put any irrelevant thoughts aside and allow yourself to go through whatever is happening and into recovery again.


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'm trying very hard to work through to a complete recovery. I hope coming back here and posting is helping me but I haven't decided that yet. I think I asked you to reply to this thread because I still need to talk about things. I don't need to talk about the irrelevant anymore but I do need to talk about what has been going on inside of me.

Thank you for saying I am brave.....I haven't decided if it was brave or stupid to return.

((((((((((Myzen)))))))))))))) Thank you for your reply and for your friendship.

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ozzie said:
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I don't need to talk about the irrelevant anymore but I do need to talk about what has been going on inside of me.

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I don't know what to say - I'll just listen.

Good thoughts, M

Thank you for your offer to listen. I need to do more thinking and make a bit more progress.

(((((((((((((((((Group Hug)))))))))))))))))))

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I haven't decided if it was brave or stupid to return.

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It was definitely a smart thing to do (and I'm not just saying that because I am so glad to see you here...)

You were hurting, had an idea for healing, and came here to try it. Whether or not it helps (and I hope it does!) it was smart to try to take action on your behalf. Having the idea but not following through... not doing anything... would have been the unsmart move.

(((((Ozzie)))))

{{{{{{{{GROUP!}}}}}}}}