Number of Posts--- different perspectives.........

I feel kind of bad for posting so much now. I don't know what happens to me, I sort of lose self control.

I wish I could be a normal person.

I don't know why I don't feel shame or anything. I think I should feel shame like others do.

(((hugs))) to everyone

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SleepsWithButterFlies said:
..I am not nor would I want to be one to beg for attention with 6 posts in one day on the same subject... Some day I may experiment and just post like a couple of people I have seen and see what happens

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gg

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gardenergirl said:
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SleepsWithButterFlies said:
..I am not nor would I want to be one to beg for attention with 6 posts in one day on the same subject... Some day I may experiment and just post like a couple of people I have seen and see what happens

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gg

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How are you being supportive or tolerant here ..I am just kicking around new posting styles..I have that right here..on PC that is.

I only post when I have the urge to say something which is seldom. But I can say when I am not at my "best" I will not post. I have tried a few times and my thoughts scattered and I forgot what I orginally was posting about. So I lay low when I feel vulnerable . I can say I have read my old posts just to see what I have said... .. I've surprised myself a few times . lol

I think it is great tho that folks needing support and those that support others do post a lot. It keeps folks connected which is a good thing..



.

What does it matter?...When? Why? How much?...

radio flyer,

You said similar to how it feels for me......."But I can say when I am not at my "best" I will not post. I have tried a few times and my thoughts scattered and I forgot what I orginally was posting about." --- with one exception for me though...... I don't forget my thoughts.... I just struggle with finding words for how I'm feeling.

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I think it is great tho that folks needing support and those that support others do post a lot. It keeps folks connected which is a good thing..

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I agree!

thanks for your reply,
mandy

Mystry,

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What does it matter?...When? Why? How much?...

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Well, it mattered to me--- as I was feeling very much alone, which only makes me even more depressed.

All my life I've been surrounded by people that have brought much attention to themselves-- demanding support, affection and compliments. Feeling very different-- I am silent and then, when I'm really depressed, people in my life think things are going just fine for me....... since they speak up when they need support and I'm not voicing--- I must be OK.

But that's where such people are wrong when it comes to me..... when I'm very quiet that's when I'm in that huge black pit where I sometimes feel as though I will be swallowed up

So it does matter to me........ it made me feel better to know that I'm not alone in isolating when I'm very down. And I am thankful to hear all other views.

Just because I don't request attention doesn't mean I'm doing well and I'm not struggling. I guess those that voice their feelings when in need of support wouldn't understand the predicament I get in......... wanting support but feeling bad asking for it--- so I don't ask and then I feel bad because no one knows how much I can be hurting.--- (if that made any sense--- I struggle even to explain it )

mandy

Different strokes for different folks. You don't have to feel that you have to start threads, especially when you aren't feeling up to it, imo. Also, there are many different ways to give support to another without having to "force" a wordy answer.

Many of us have felt supported even by posts left that say little more than "Just wanted you to know I read this."

If you don't feel up to posting about how you are feeling (whether you fear sharing, or you're too depressed to do so) try to just post a smilie that shows where you're "at" or leave a short phrase like, "I need support" or "I need hugs, please."

This being a support site makes it safer to not have to totally explain yourself, or guard yourself against pesky questions.

Odds are, most of us have been (and might still be) where you're at.

for all of you struggling with sharing. Take your time, psych central will be here.

Sky,

Gee, why didn't I think of that.........using a smilie that shows how I'm feeling..... I know others have done so.... just didn't think of it for myself.

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This being a support site makes it safer to not have to totally explain yourself, or guard yourself against pesky questions.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> -- that is something I also didn't think about--- I guess I look at it in black -and- white. I feel I either must explain it well, or don't post at all!! Gosh-- there can be a gray area!!! If/when I feel overwhelmed I could just use smilies when I'm to afraid -- or can't find the words to express myself.

I feel really dumb..... such a simple thing ...... I don't know why I thought of it as " all or nothing".

Thanks for that idea Sky.

mandy

i'm not a postaholic . . . if i do start posting too much, you'll know i'm really mental. i want to blog every day, but can't seem to make myself do it.

But will just smileys and stuff do it for you in the end it may help some but I dunno.....

((((((((((((( Mandy ))))))))))))))

You're right. When you guys don't hear from me, I'm in trouble! Some of us post more when we're in trouble. I post less.

Hugs,

Jan

Hey Mandy...I must apologize for my post...I wasn't in the right frame of mind when I wrote it, which sort of answers your question, for me anyway...I post when I'm feeling bad and when I'm feeling good...so maybe I should wait until I'm at a better place before I answer posts of this nature...to tell you the truth I really don't remember why I asked those questions...and again I apologize...it was rude of me to answer a question with a question anyway...

I post both when I am down and when I am up. When Im down and I read a post from someone and I answer that post if it is what I am going through at the moment my posting to the other person gives me the answer to my problem Kind of the "if a friend was going through this what would you tell them" kind of thing. And when Im up I want people to know that I was where they are at the moment and how I dealt with the problem could help possibly help them just like other peoples experiences helps me. I don't know how many times some of my wacky ideas to help myself have been spin offs of what other survivors and so on have done to help themselves but I know it was ALOT of times. LOL

Sometimes I feel so bad that I can't even drag myself off the bed to come here. But other times I can't relax either, so I come here to read social chat and get a laugh, hopefully. Better than stting around thinking myself to death.

Thanks everyone for your wonderful replies-- I really appreciate them-- it helps to know how others are on this issue.

Jennie-- concerning this topic-- sounds like you are just opposite me-- you said you would be "mental" if you posted a lot-- and I feel I would be getting better!! Amazing how people can vary! and also--- I see in your "baby count" days-- it's getting close!!!! Good Luck with that!!!!!!

Sleeps-- tried to PM you --guess you still have it turned off??

Mystry-- thanks for posting back-- to be honest, I did feel your first post was not supportive--- but instead of running like I would have done---- I stuck to it and posted back--- explaining myself. Thanks for your apology!

January-- I'll keep that in mind--- if we don't hear from you, I'm coming--- searching!!!!

Myself-- your posts are always so interesting and helpful. Thank you.

I agree Estee-- PsychCentral can be a helpful distraction at times. I like reading in the "social" forum when I'm down too.

To all who don't post much when they're down and also to those that post a lot when they're down---you're in my thoughts---
wishing you all peace and healing--

mandy

Perhaps this whole thread began because of what I had said in the post of someone asking about what a Grand Poohbah is...
Sorry if I upset anyone.
I was meaning what I wrote about me in general....
I know we all post for different purposes.
Some are on here strictly to encourage while others have no where else to turn for support.
I truly did not mean to upset anyone or the useless "title" we are assigned here...

((((((((((((mandy)))))))))))) thanks

> I have much trouble with what qualifies as "distress".

Well... I guess it is a feeling. A qualitative state. I think most people know when they are feeling distressed. Sometimes people go numb. But underneath the numbness... There is a distressed feeling.

> To me ---it's the loss of one's basic needs: physical/emotional safety, shelter, food, money to pay for basic needs and health of yourself or loved one.

Yeah. Most people tend to respond to those stimuli with feelings of distress. 'Physical or emotional safety' can be a tricky thing too... It isn't solely a response to someone who cares about you dying... Or leaving... It could be about someone who cares about you being busy or whatever. And sometimes... People can be distressed because they are responding to something from the past rather than the present. I mean... Sounds to me like if you don't post that you aren't feeling so good... And then if you don't get some support with that... Then that can lead to you feeling distressed. And your fear about asking for some support isn't a response to the present (the boards) it is a response to your past (how requests for support / expressions of distress were dealt with when you were a child).

I think that when people are distressed that is ALWAYS an understandable response in light of their genes (or the way their physiological arousal system is set to respond), their past experiences, and (though sometimes to a lesser extent) the present situation. Some people do feel more intensely distressed than others. That can be about the way their physiological responses are set to 'reactive' and 'intense'.

> This might be narrow minded..... but a bush getting aphids or losing a text book or momentarily misplacing ones keys-- those things aren't regarded as "distress" to me.

Okay. So you don't feel distressed by those things. But... Another person might feel distressed in response to those things. One of those things might trigger some negative experience from their childhood, for instance.

> I- personally will learn not to listen as they are not basic needs.

So if you wouldn't feel distressed in response to something then you wouldn't support someone who did feel distressed in response to that thing?

> AAhhh yes, the "knowing" and then the "feeling" can often be very seperate things for sure!!!! I believe that is my biggest struggle-- getting those two together!!

I think it is my biggest struggle too. Especially when I think 'the thing that just happened isn't a big deal for most people and so I don't have a right to feel distressed in response'. And... I beat myself up for feeling distressed in response.

I think distress is distress and distress is distressing. Doesn't matter whether it is a 'reasonable' response (to the present situation) or not. Distress is distressing. And most people can use a little support when they are feeling distressed. Usually... It is about a little help seeing that they don't need to beat themselves up for feeling distressed...

That is where seeing distress as 'crying wolf' can escalate the situation in the sense of invalidating a persons very real emotional response. Ultimately seeing distress as 'crying wolf' tends to... Escalate a persons distress. Not so helpful...

> I am hurting... but not to the degree that I am most of the time.

((((Mandy)))) I think you have taken a really positive step in reaching out with that. I think finding the middle ground with respect to asking for support... Is really important. I think it is something that a lot of people struggle with. And finding the middle ground means taking a bit of a risk in getting outside ones comfort zone.

Susan,

You are so sweet to apologize to anyone that might have gotten upset...... speaking for myself--- I was not upset at all.

Being the youngest of a large family, all my siblings trying to out yell each other and be the worst behaved to get some kind of attention from our parents...... I learned very early (by about 3) that I couldn't compete. How can a 4 year old get into so much trouble that she gets the attention rather than a 15 year old brother who's into drugs, or a pregnant 16 year old sister-- the 4 year old doesn't stand a chance!! I s'pose feeling invisible.... I withdrew into myself-- and truly became invisible.

Being around a family that so loudly voices their discomforts.... then, I married into a family very similar--I've been treated like I don't have problems since I'm not yelling or saying " Hey look at me, I'm upset". Your post just got me wondering...... "maybe I am very different from most people".

Reaching out to others here, I wanted to learn how they react when feeling as though they are disintegrating. I wanted to know if the way I isolate when VERY upset was extremely unusual.

And maybe I also wanted to be heard...... that---- the fact I don't post a lot doesn't mean I'm breezing through life. Not because of your post though..... I wrote because of my past and present 3-D life.

Thanks for your reply-- that was a very kind of you. I wish you healing and inner peace.

mandy

Hey Mandy...thanks so much.
You are thoughtful.
I am opinionated and crazy most of the time...but I would never want my words here to hurt others.
Usually I just try hurting me.

Hope you know you are very kind.

(((((((mandy))))))

((BTW if I knew losing my keys was a temporary misplacement, it wouldn't be stress lol)

I wanted to add that some of my reason for being here and posting so much is I'm not able to be very active physically, and my computer is in the bed with me.