[RoamingMind]

For every positive thing there are 5 negative ones.

I lost my job and am now close to losing everything else.
Can't really pay anything, hell I'm lucky to have electricity and internet access in order to write this! It's all a twisted game.

Everything is falling apart and there really isn't anything I can do about it.
Yes, I can sit and think. But trust me, I just think in circles until my head is about to explode. No one has an answer, hell I'm in this situation because of my bi-polar.

It's all pretty crazy, I'm about ready to just sit back and just let all of the bad things happen. Fighting it all just makes it a hell of a lot worse.

And thus, because of all of this constant **** I deal with where everything I think I can accomplish splits into 40 ****ing parts that require more time and energy I can put forth. Not to mention that I become less and less motivated each and every ****ing day. Hell, I have to fight myself to do anything but sit around. Yes it makes it worse, but what can I do?
Every thing I try just hits me back 5 times as hard.

The ****** part of it all is the fact that many of you have it even worse.
It gets to the point where I wonder what the hell the point of life is, is it just to cause us pain and misery? It's all some sadistic ****ing joke that we all play a part in. That's the fun of it!

Back to the question I wanted to ask; by the way, don't even dare lie about this!

Does anyone really get better? Or is the whole mental health problem just one big circle, just when you think things are good and have gotten better everything falls apart and you're back close to the beginning, or you're lost and don't know where the **** you are.

Wow! Such positive thoughts I have today!
It's called being realistic, I look and see everyone elses pain and it seems that there is never any end to this ****.

Just as a therapist who has never had the dis-pleasure of dealing
with a mental health issue would say:
Look at the positive!"

Not that it isn't a great post or a valid question but I think it strikes a fear in many of us that yes, maybe this **** will just go on.

Even saying that there's a possibility that this may continue to some degree forever, is something we don't like to contemplate.

I'm going to brave here and speak what I feel. Ordinarily I might pass this over but I'm feeling not too bad it seems so I'll make a comment or two. The only reason I hesitate to speak is that I don't want anyone who might envision a glorious permanent complete change a definite possibility.

What the fact might be is that there may always be some things to deal with even though huge improvements are made. Whether from meds/therapies or a combo of both and more...I think the fact remains that there will be some drawbacks at points.

Ones situation can vastly improve. With various treatments and time, some people quite successfully regain much of what was lost and can improve their quality of life. But we're all different. And the levels of complexity and severity vary so much. It isn't a simple thing to simply nail down problems and is just as difficult to devise effective methods of correcting them.

Depending on many things, some being personality/social background/overall health, and even where and how one lives [and much much more] can figure into how well one can make a recovery. Because of this complicated list of factors, the level of recovery can vary. It isn't fair but it is a reality.

This can be a complex question Roamingmind! If I think hard about this I could write pages on this. But I can't and shouldn't.

Some of us will have a harder time but I believe most of us who wind up approaching any healthcare system for help do stand a better chance and CAN improve their situation...that's a certainty in most cases I believe. Not to the degree perhaps that they envision or wish for but I've read of many people who can look back and say they're miles ahead of where they were and that's ok.

They may still have their moments and even temporary setbacks. And like many other illnesses, have to make some permanent changes in their lives regarding changes in habits,meds lifestyles etc.

Things won't entirely go away in most cases. But the tools exist and even more importantly, health care people of some sort are available to most of us here. Everything isn't perfect everywhere but I feel we are all pretty lucky to have some care available. Realizing these illnesses can't be 'cured' as such, is also important. It can be relieving to know and realize that yes, with some work and some luck, our illness CAN in many cases can be coped with. Very successfully coped with in fact.

Not to sound like some sort of shallow geek, I have to say, after writing that opinion, that I wish everyone the best with this. No magic....no myths...it can happen. We can, at some point, with luck, perserverance and help, get more out of our lives. The slide down isn't a one way street. Like an amputee with prosthetics, a person on dialysis, or anyone disabled medically, there are ways available to get our lives back on track. To varying degrees for sure. Hopefully to the fullest. but small advances can dramatically improve lives. People can attest to it. Many here I'd bet.


Hope I don't sound like some idealistic mouthpiece...I'm not dumb and naive. I'm just trying to sum up a difficult question and cover as many bases as I can before I lose my thoughts. Needs not be said but mental health issues aren't easy to live with. We have it harder than most afflictions because of it's very nature...the not yet understood brain.

But improvement is always a possibilty and that's what not to forget. Cheers to us all. I hope I said something in tune with your post Roaming mind. I was just struck bythe headline. 'does anyone really get better' I was addressing that mostly here I think. I'm in a pit myself and haven't had any grand recoveries but I'm holding ground and know just as shite can happen, it can also get cleaned up a bit.

[Raindropvampire]

I can only speak from my experiences. for me it is a big circle. Things get better, then start to unravel, they tweak my meds, things get better, then start to unravel ad infinitum. However; I do think I learn better coping skills and handle each time it unravels better than the time before. So maybe a day will come when my coping skills will be so great there will be no unraveling That's my goal anyway.

[mommyof2girls]

For me, I have been dealing with my illness since 2005 and can say that it does get better....But you have to remember that medication is only 50 percent of the answer, the other 50 percent comes from within, people have to put forth the effort in managing your illness.... I know that sometimes it isn't easy dealing with life and all its ups and downs, but it does get better ....

[gma45]

It does at times feel like a big circle, with ups and downs. I just have to believe it will get better for my own mental health. If I don't believe it I have nothing. It's not much but it is something.

[Hellion]

I don't think I am going to get better...I mean even if I did everything right on my end who am i kidding? This society is still sick becoming well adjusted to it scares me more than going totally insane. Also my past still did cause damage I am pretty sure cannot be undone yeah it might be funny to pick on the wierd kid at school well it was never fun for me....being that weird kid and its only since I've reached adulthood that I've realised how much damage it actually did. I mean I feel like I never really had much of a chance to begin with I used to try to belive it would get better...and things only got worse and that pattern seems to continue for the most part.

[uglyside]

I have dealt with my mind for 23yrs,and it has been hell. It's a good question to think does anyone ever really get better. I have fallen as low as I can go,and manage to get myself back, only to fall again. It's a horrible painfull cycle. It seems the only thing I hold onto is there must be a reason i'm still here. Thing's have to get better,there has to be some happiness. I don't believe this but the thought is all I have to keep me holding on.

((((Roaming)))) I lived for over 10 years of "when it rains it pours". I NEVER thought it would stop. It got so bad I was exhausted, and I finally gave up... almost. I sold everything and was living like a monk. Actually, I slept my way through most of it.

*Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop - living in constant fear - is not living It's absolutely horrible, and I don't wish it on anyone. But yes, it does (can) get better

Things have changed for me because I found a great T that Dx me properly and we are working on changing my thought process(es). AND with my T, I have one person in my life that I can trust and talk to and who has the tools to help me be feel OK.

I STILL have my moments, though. In fact, all the time, but I muddle my way though. The hurtful experiences or feelings and/or pain goes away quicker. I don't fall back into the depression - and suffering.

Improvement doesn't happen overnight, and I try to not be hard on myself. I actually repeat to myself over and over (I am safe and at peace and I can face anything that comes my way).

Oh my gosh, I make mistakes all the time, make a fool out of myself (I am sure) and bumble my way through life - but I'm doing it.

(An example, just this morning on the freeway, a huge rock (or something) hit my windshield, and I jumped out of my skin -I imagined the worst. My heart was pounding and I had to check myself in the mirror to make sure I wasn't bleeding )

But I got through it and made it to my destination (instead of turning around and going home and going back to sleep).

(*that is my daily goal. to get dressed and up. no matter how awful I think I feel).

Also, I removed myself from the negativity and toxic people in my life, so they cannot hurt me. at all anymore. I have to be wayyy too vulnerable to continue getting "better", and they'd be the first ones to try to sabotage it.

And people come into my life everyday that REMIND me of the toxic people (in some way) so I can work through it with my T (most of the time when I am super upset and anxious, I always blurt out, I know I've said it before but "this person reminds me soo much of my mother .... ugh. She is hideous")

Before, I would have thought I was being tortured with these "types" of people coming across my path...I had no TOOLS at all to deal with it/them. But with a lot of hard work, I am managing much better. I remember thinking to myself "WHY are these people so horrible? Why do they keep coming around? Is it me?!" I realized it was for a couple of reasons:

1. They are there to annoy the holy **** out of me to help me get better
2. The monsters of my past are not as powerful as I thought they were. And they too roam the earth. Not so unusual for them to be around. It's how I deal with them now that makes all the difference.

I know you are hurting right now. A lot. Please remember you are not alone and keep posting! Do your T and MD know what's going on right now?

((((Rose))))

[f.reliant]

My diabetes won't ever go away. Its here to stay. But when I take care (eating right, sleeping right, taking my meds etc) it is an irrelevant part of my daily life in so much as it impacts my quality of life. ITS UNDER CONTROL.

Some members have been told they will probably have to be on some kind of meds for the rest of their lives. So, while it doesn't ever go away...It can be managed. You have to fight for yourself though. Know what I mean? And when I say fight, really mean fight which it kind of ironic because one has so little energy and motivation.

I noticed that we have a lot of smile moticons to choose from, but appears one was left out. A smilely riding a rollar coaster! Yes depression comes in waves. So as crappy as I feel, I know that a good cycle is due.

PC has so many wonder tips on getting through this. Rose P mentions getting rid of toxic people. Big help. If the people in your life aren't helping you up, the're holding you down.

Your post has smiles and grins. Do I detect a hint of humor? Remember, the rollacoaster bar locks and releases. The ride is scarry..but you won't fall out!

[Krose]

I have found that keeping a journal during those intense time of the roller coaster was very helpful. I had to get the feelings out and would write pages of stuff that in the end, really did not make much sense. I did this instead of turning to other destructive behaviors to not feel. This was so beneficial especially during the time between visits to my T. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing.

[DreamsDeciphered]

I've never known anyone that actually got better and was free from their mental illness entirely. Some people get it under control, and others learn to live with it. My mother recovered from an eating disorder in her early twenties, but she still fights OCD. My father never stopped being a sociopath, but then again, he never tried. I've struggled with social anxiety disorder since I was a little girl, I've been struggling with depression since middle school, and I've been struggling with hypochondria for a year. For me, it seems that it just progressively gets worse, but there's no telling where I'll be with this stuff years down the road.

That's the scariest part, I think. The uncertainty of it all is very upsetting. For me, anyway.

[elliemay]

I can say with total conviction that -yes people get better. I did.

What will never ever change, though, is life. There will always be ups and downs. Crappy things beyond our control.

What changes is the way we react to those crappy things.

Now, I'm certainly NOT talking about suddenly developing a rosy, happy view of everything. "OH! I lost my job - fantastic!".

What does happen though is those things feel less catastrophic. You can also learn to NOT pile everything on top of each other into one big overwhelming heap of badness. THAT is a horrible horrible way to live. You can learn to take each thing at a time and appreciate what you have. You can learn to not only cope, but thrive.

Getting better requires self-discipline, practice, and a knowledge of yourself and a rational view of your emotions/behaviours. You must invest in yourself with your whole heart. What is learned can not be unlearned in a day.

Having said all this "howling at the moon" and bemoaning life is normal. Allowing yourself to stay in that mode is most assuredly not.

[Junerain]

I have gotten better emotionally, spiritually, personal personality growth, in my friendships, in love, all across the board...in my twenties I had not yet found true friends, had not yet found MYSELF- how outgoing I was capable of being how I can relate well to most people, had not yet met the love of my life- from which I grew more....I just kept putting myself out there and working at job after job in face of bitter discrimination, kept believeing in myself (deep down) when no one else would....my 70th job was waitressing, which was for a family run restaurant that really improved my confidence I began dating a lot and having close friends, it was such a relief to not be a 'lost soul' anymore...I wish everyone here for my kind of 'recovery'....

[Perna]

Yes, it can get better; took me 25-30 years but was well worth it. I'm 61 and am beginning to understand what it means when they say it all comes together when you get older. It all makes lots more sense now and I'm stuck with, "why on earth did I think that back then?"

[RunningEagleRuns]

i tell myself life will change.. i live for the possibily of going to heaven and getting a better life.

=/

[di meliora]

Getting better is possible. How much better is the challenge. Each day brings me closer to not having to entertain another day.

[Trippin2.0]

Idk if IT gets better, but I've gotten better at being bipolar... I've accepted that it won't go away, so I decided to go back to working around it (like prior to dx) as opposed to thru it... This mindset and the time and effort put into aquiring the neccessary tools, has helped me be better at being bipolar. Life changes all the time, sometimes the sun shines on me, sometimes the rain pours so much I fear I might drown. I can't control life, and even if I could, I'd STILL be bipolar, and that means that I could feel like crap despite the sun shining upon me. So it makes no sense for me to even try to 'control' life. I hope you feel better soon, I really do.

[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by Perna

Yes, it can get better; took me 25-30 years but was well worth it. I'm 61 and am beginning to understand what it means when they say it all comes together when you get older. It all makes lots more sense now and I'm stuck with, "why on earth did I think that back then?"

Such a great comment, Perna! Yes, it DOES get better! I also am 61. And, while aging comes with its own set of concerns, I have the persective I lacked in the past. I am SO much better, so much more at peace. I realize I can't undo the past, and I'm often haunted by my choices from it, I have managed to create a lasting peace of mind with the present!

[brackenbeard]

it gets better over time, but you can't forget without taking the steps to keep us stable, we can always slip back into hell. find what works for you. i know that's kind of vague, and sometimes it feels no matter what we do it never gets better, but I believe there are things we can do... and that just comes down to trying new things, taking risks, and experimenting with our lifestyle choices.

[Hellion]

I am not certain but I kinda feel like I'll probably die before 'it get's better.' I just don't see it happening in my lifetime since part of it is, I am unhappy in this society.

[Rose76]

RoamingMind - I'm inclined to look at things in the way that you do. I tend to reach the same conclusions that you have reached. I despair a lot.

Ultimately, I blame myself for not putting forth the effort it takes to live in a better way. Somehow, deep down, I feel it won't make a difference.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by RoamingMind

Fhole mental health problem just one big circle, just when you think things are good and have gotten better everything falls apart and you're back close to the beginning, or you're lost and don't know where the **** you are.

I got better! I'm not mentally ill at all, even though I am called schizophrenic. Unpopular as my opinion may be, I often think that I would never have had the period of severe "illness" that I did had I not been forced into the psychiatric system. It forces you into the roll of passive sick person, not active fighter of problems; it forces on you labels which are at best speculative but which come with severe discrimination.
I'm completely free of mental illness, I guess. I don't even think about it unless I come on this forum or I hear about it in the news.

Also, if you look on madness radio there are dozens of episodes of people telling the story of how they got better. There are many (very many!) from people who have been fully well for several decades now.

[lizardlady]

speaking from personal experience YES it gets better. I would consider it a circle. That implies you end up back where you started. If it's a roller coaster the highs and lows have damped out so they aren't so extreme....

again my personal experience. I worked my backside off in therapy. I finally gave in and tried medication. Therapy gave me the tools to deal with my problems. It also too working with my pdoc to find the right combination of meds and dosage to help me. I still have to deal with my demons. I have better skills to manage them now.

Is my life perfect? Heck no! Do I still have low times, thoughts of self harm etc? Yes, but I now have the tools to deal them. Now if I start feeling down (without reason), thoughts of self harm etc I take it as a sign I need to reassess and figure out what I need to do differently or what I need to change in my life.

[misscath007]

I like the idea of thinking not in terms of everything being good but that things are under control. I have dealt with depression, dysthymia and anxiety for almost 30 years now. I go through a major serious depression about once every 2 years. Before that it would be once every 4 years. The rest of the time, I still struggle with my mood on a almost daily basis but it is managable.

Stress plays a major role too. when the stressors of my life get to be too much, then the depression gets worse. Right now I am dealing with a few major things in my life and the mood is definately suffering. Have not given up yet though.

[IowaFarmGal]

I was avised to keep a journal so when it gets bad I would remember it's not always like that. I think I don't remember or notice sometimes beauty around me or people that would help me if I just remembered they were there. It does feel like I crawl from failure to failure. I don't keep my journal as was suggested. Some days it feels like the clouds are lifting a little bit and I can start to hope and the next day I might not remember that at all. I'll go out walking and some days it's like oh yeah there's wild roses blooming in the ditch. If it's a good day I can appreciate that, on a bad day if I can even make myself notice it that's a victory. I was assigned to walk and write about what I see, feel, hear and smell on my walk in the journal. It made a big difference to use all my senses rather than just plodding along with my eyes on the dusty road telling myself I have to walk out this far before I can go home. So I know it was helpful but sometimes I just can't so I make myself go through the motions anyway. It's always been hard to be a person. I don't expect that to change at this late date.