Totally screwed, totally scared!

Just a bad bad day, a day that I wish would go away. I have no where else to go, there's nobody I can talk to, nobody I could ask for help. I'm very scared today, it's soooo bad.

First off, I can't say exactly what's happening to me because I fear how some will react, but I will say hunger, stuck, overwhelmed, terrified. I'm not sure what to do.

My Mom's on a crack binge and has been missing for 3 days, I don't even know if she is alive. Her husband destroyed everything at her house, including everything that was my Grandma's. He stole her dog Belo too....and let my Grandmothers dog loose.

Such a bad day and there's nobody here for me. I asked my husband to stay home and help me figure out how I'm going to %#@&#! feed my kids, and he refused, he spent the last of the gas going to work instead of somewhere useful like a %#@&#! food bank.

I have to go cry, maybe I can call my sister, and she can just talk to me...say anything anything at all.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) - I am very sorry that you are suffering so much today, heart ache is the worse feeling of all to have to deal with.... IMO.
Hand in there and YES by all means call your sister if she can truly help you right now without further distress. You can always PM me if you need to talk it thru..... no judgement or harshness - I Promise!!


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Desirae, you seem to be in a predicament that may be impossible to fix by just a few kinds words from some of us here.
I would approach your local social services.....it's time to get some help, via financial, social care, etc. from the organizations that are created to help people.
All I can add is you must follow your instincts and do what feels right for you first, then worry about the other people in your family next.

I am really so sorry for the intense struggles that you are going through right now. I honestly wish there was something constructive that I could do but all I can do is offer you my love and gentle kind thoughts.

Please do call your sister is she can talk with you and help you through this.

I couldn't get ah old of my sister, but my Mom finally called after being lost for three days. I had no idea if she was alive or dead. She feels guilty, I told her I had no food here, so she's getting some dude to bring her here and shes going to bring some groceries and gas money. It will help a little till I figure out why I did not receive my food stamps this month like I was supposed to. I think I may have missed an appointment some place along the line or something.

I did make my kids pancakes this morning, the rest of the Bisquick and milk. I have beans, eggs, juice, deer steaks, and some left over spaghetti and chicken. My kids are normally very picky eaters, but they will have no choice but to cooperate till I figure this out.

I feel ashamed that this has happened and that I risked my children's hunger. It's my fault, my irresponsibility, I guess. I feel awful, like a failure. We were doing good financially, then we slipped back into the hole. Maybe a miraculous even will happen and tomorrow I will receive my student loan or something.

I hate to have my mom in my house after her crack binge, but I need the food and gas money to get to college tomorrow, and to probably go to DHHR and maybe a food bank.

I'm sorry to have burdened you all with this. I was so terrified that my babies would be hungry because of my stupidity. I know I'm hungry, haven't eaten in two days, but that don't matter to me, all that matters in if my babies are fed, I'll starve so they can eat.

It's sad that I'm American, and I'm feeling like those mothers in Africa. It's truly my fault, my laziness.....it's caused this.

Just feel horrible today, I appreciate the words and letting me know that you are there.

Hopefully today things will get better.

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desirae said:
It's sad that I'm American, and I'm feeling like those mothers in Africa. It's truly my fault, my laziness.....it's caused this.

Just feel horrible today, I appreciate the words and letting me know that you are there.

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If I may ask? - Why do YOU feel this way....... what have you done that was so wrong?
Are you not being strong and taking care of those beautiful children you have?


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

Des, my heart goes out to you. I've been through what you're going through just recently. It IS scary! My suggestion is take care of you and your kids, in that order, and then start thinking of a life change. None of you deserve this!

Tomorrow is Monday. Call your Social Agencies and see what kind of help you can get from them.

Surely, there is a neighbor that would be willing to take you to the Food Pantry in your town. It humiliating to ask around for a ride, but if you don't have transportation or change for the bus, there's no alternative.

Once you get yourself and your kids taken care of, you'll be able to breath a little easier so you can think of where you NEED to go from here.

For the time being, you can't worry about anyone or anything else. One thing at a time, ok?

(((((((Desirae)))))))

I am so sorry you are going through all of this! I don't think it's your fault, you are doing the best that you can and your husband has to take the responsiblility too. I wouldn't want to see either you or your children go hungry. But I know what you mean about putting them first, since I'm a mom myself. I just feel so bad for you, but I am glad your mom showed up. I agree with gtrplayer who said there are organizations that can help. You and your children should not have to suffer. Also you are a wonderful mother from everything I've ever read in your posts and I remember always talking to you in chat.

Anyway I hope things get better for you, you don't need all these worries and stresses on you. Please take good care of yourself and don't feel as if you have to carry everything on your shoulders, it's just too much.

Love,
Sujin

I volunteer at a food bank / clothing & furniture supply to the community in need for FREE - is there any thing like that in your town? - check with the local churches.... the larger ones usually have more resource connections.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

You are NOT stupid and you are NOT irrisponsible! Not by a long shot! Could it be that you have too much on your plate at one time? I think that might be it!

Hello!!

Des..look up your local St. Vincent DePaul Society.(you don't have to be Catholic!) Also, in some areas...the Kiwaanis Clubs give out debit cards with a specified sum..and they will tell you where and how to use it. I live in N.E.Ohio...and we have this much needed help here. Our local St. Vincent De Paul is tops. It is set up in an unused convent and on the inside it looks like a Mom and Pop store. They even have several freezers stuffed with meat to desserts. They have plastic bags...& u go down isle by isle and pick what u need. You must wait at least one week before going back. This and the Kiwaanis club debit vouchers are just wonderful.

Lastly....you MUST TRY to find some way too distance you and YOUR family from ANY negative influence.

See if you can link up with a social worker from the local mental health society. They will help u step by step.Including picking u up at your door for appts...etc. It's worth a try!!! Take GOOD care. Feel free to pm me any time..I might be able to get help for you -dottie

des.....you're not stupid. you have enough worries to cause three people to give up.....you're just one human being and it became overwhelming. please know that we're all here for you and you can PM us......remember some of us have been in some mighty tight spaces lately and we've come through. PC got me through it and we'll help get you through this....love, pat

Des, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Call the Salvation Army. They often help people and they have a list of other organizations that can help, too. I know you'll call the DHHR tomorrow to find out what happened.

Be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes and working, going to college and caring for small children is sure to cause one now and then.

Take good care.

Hugs,

Jan

I'm sorry Desirae

My thoughts are with you

Hi ((Desirae)):

We ALL need a little help sometimes and you're doing the best you can under the current circumstances. You're a caring Mom and there is no shame in that, dear One!

We do the best we know how, until we know how better, right? (((((Desirae)))))...

Warmest regards,

Peanut

Des, your a caring , loving Mom. You need to accept help from your Mother and then let her go her way, please remember your hubby needed to go to work to pay bills, follow the words given here and you'll do fine
Angie

Desirae,

I heard nothing you said that showed any of this was your fault. You're a great mom, you care about your kids. You can't do it all, so stop blaming yourself. It's the people in your life who aren't living up to their responsibilities who are to blame. Your husband couldn't go to the food bank, for crying out loud? Your mom disappeared for three days? That's sure not your fault!

I'm glad your mom showed up and is helping you out, but that doesn't make what she did okay. I hope the dogs are okay.

Maybe you can find a local moms group where you can find friends who can help you and give you resources. Other moms might include struggling moms who know what you're going through.

You might also call the food bank and ask if someone could bring you something, if no other option is available in the future.

I am so sorry for your suffering

We have (Indiana) a county trustee that gives out vouchers for food & gas for the desperate. Call your local library if you can't find it in the phone book & the research desk can find it for you. That's what I did for a friend of mine in a similar circumstance. Hope they have that service in the state you are in.

I also went through lean times & was on WIC (Women, Infants & Children--maybe check into that--they also give vouchers for food) when I had two young children (1st was a preemie--it took us 5 yrs. to pay off the hospital bill--but they were willing to work with us in the situation we were in--bless them). You shouldn't blame yourself for going through hard times.

I an very sorry for your situation, I know there are not a lot of services in your area but public benefits sound like the way you need to go fo mow. There is no shame in that, and try all of the churces and clubs in your town.

First of all you are not stupid... we all go through hard times... second of all you are a wonderful mom... stop being so hard on your self..... being a young mom is very hard... there have been times where i had to call my grandparents crying to say i needed formula for my kids.. we made too much for wic... doesnt that suck!!!!!

just take a deep breathe.. today is a new day.....

My mom never showed, her ride, "supposedly" never showed so she was unable to get here. I'm on the phone right now, on hold, with DHHR to ask why I did not receive my food stamps on the 6th like I was supposed to. I've been on hold for ever and a day, but I'm willing to wait. I think I'm going to have to pawn my DVD player for gas so I can get to DHHR, because I guarantee they will have me come in with my husbands pay stubs. I guess I gotta do what I gotta do. I also need to go to the college and get my fall schedule today, fortunately the DHHR and the college are right next door to each other and if it stops raining I could walk to the college from DHHR. I'm still a little frustrated and overwhelmed, but I am doing better today then I was yesterday. It's Monday so I should be able to get this fixed....hopefully.

Thanks all for your helpful suggestions, and supportive kindness. I really appreciate everybody's concern, I don't know what I'd do without all of you. Hopefully all will work out today.

Oh Des, glad you are taking action on your own behalf. What a serious bummer. Maybe it's time to figure out how to manage without Mom in the picture since she's so unreliable.

Hard hard hard stuff on your plate. I know how much you love your kids and give them top priority in your life. I respect that so much. Is there a childcare facility at your college?

I feel like there must folks around to help you stop feeling like your Mom and Sis are your only options for help..... more reliable people/organizations/food banks who are dedicated to helping folks in your situation. Ya know?

Unfortunately, still no food, I tried to find a a way there. I hunted for change all over the house and found 2 dollars and 25 cents, but there's no way I will make it to DHHR on that. I called DHHR crying saying I had no food and gas, and they put me over to answering machine, like that's going to %#@&#! help me.

I still have no idea what I am going to do, I'm a little scared. I've cried for hours today and have exhausted myself. My husband hasn't had a cigarette all day and is getting more and more cruel. It's getting worse.

I'm so sorry all for burdening you with my bs......it's pathetic in every way.

des pm me please.