Looking for the grey

Can anyone relate to this?

How does being here help you find the grey?

Does it help at all in finding the grey?

You know bear? Sometimes you are really a deep thinker!!

I grew up like many ppl in a black and white world. I learned differently through training. Then, with my injury it all went black...and then a bit of white showed up. Now, with T's help, I've just about learned about grey again!

It is worth it. It isn't easy, a constant struggle, a constant "in your face" contradiction to what you "think" you know to be truth!

imo, grey is overrated. yet, if it'll make you happy, i wish you luck in finding it.

I am chronically black and white. So black and white. Always thinking in extremes-- it can only be one way or the other. But sometimes I find the grey when I'm not looking so hard for it. Sometimes it's within the black and white. I can be very black and white with my T at times-- all love for him one moment, hating him the next. But then there are those times in which I realize that I can hold multiple feelings for him at the same time-- that's the gray. It's in there.

I don't like too much gray-- don't want things to get boring. Gray sometimes makes me nervous because I feel like I'm spinning in outer space, unable to attach myself to anything-- I am so used to the extremes.

I do a lot of writing and then I try to pick up on the contradictions... I see that I feel one way.... then the other... then I realize that I am feeling both things together.... and that's kind of gray.

I can definitely relate to this, Fuzzzzzz.

My therapist shows me the grey. It's so nice cuz she's right there with me the whole time and it's fun to discover it together with her.

Keep searching, fuzzy. Black is black and white is white...but grey has so many shades it makes it so rich. (Think of a black and white photo and how interesting it is... mostly it is shades of grey)

I agree, I enjoy the grey when I'm there, and especially when I realize I am there!

Black and white means that there's a cause and a reaction, there's a reaction and a fault.
Grey means this is part of life, some times things just happen.

Black and white means something needs to be done and I have to do my best, my best isn't good enough and I've failed.
Grey means there's an opportunity if I wish to try, and whatever I do is just fine.

IDK does any of that make sense to you Fuzzy?

It does make a lot of sense thanks!
I'm in a semi hibernating (not chatty) mood though.

i agree with what was said earlier fuzzy, you really can be a deep thinker!

i don't really like the grey... (nowhere ducks the arrows)... to me, grey is like saying "its all good"... it really isnt all good... some things really are bad... i try to recognize when i'm behaving badly, for myself and others... sometimes grey is good though if i think about it, but i just don't want to kid myself... harm is harm is harm... there is no grey to it

I've never been grey. I find it such an ugly color.lol. Its always been black or white for me, always will.

((((((((((((((((( nowheretorun ))))))))))))))))

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Grey (or gray) is a good place to be imo. It's when you're in b/w thinking that you have to do something "with" the grey. To say it's just a frame of mind and isn't in touch with reality, well, that's a common view from the b/w area, imo. I've been there, I know.

Grey is not just glossing over reality. It's taking things that are negatively affecting us and putting them into a proper perspective. Making everything either-or isn't good for the psyche, imo (and in many other's opinions.)

TC!

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don't wanna push something... but i still have to disagree. The only good i can imagine from harm is when a person learns and grows from it, but then, would i have to cut my finger off to learn to appreciate the fact that i once had it and to learn to use the other four as effectively? seems like a downer idea to me... just my humble opinion...

Oh I don't think you're disagreeing. Not everything is grey. There is black, white, AND grey areas of our lives.

It's when we have NO grey that some things become problems that don't need to be. When everything HAS to be either black or white, then we have to decide: good or bad? right or wrong? And to be honest, not everything fits into that assessment.

One problem with b/w thinking ONLY is that so much goes into he bad/wrong category, and that makes us feel worse than we already do, don't you think?

When we CAN have things that are grey, or more neutral, that alleviates the bad and wrong area of our thinking, and frees us up to feel that life is not so bad, we're not so horrible, people are not all wrong, etc.

IMO

TC

oh yeah, without a doubt... some bad things happen outside our control and finding grey there is a remedy... your point is valid... i'm referring to those things which clearly are black and white... whenever i need to process i guess my first step is to find which side of the line an event sits upon... i don't prefer grey because it is not a "definite"... in times of my all too uncertain thinking it helps to categorize... some things are easier than others... war for instance, hate, disrespect, mean-ness are easily classified as in the black... love, kindness, helping fall on the other side...

to be sure, b/w thinking is also a mistake at times... we have Hitler as an example... but too much grey... for me it can just be wishy-washy at times... thanks for sharing sky and allowing me to have my opinion, even if it is wrong, life is learning...

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I look for the gray so maybe that makes a difference :-)

If I can get concrete examples of things, use my imagination to help and entertain me, I can look for "them".

Gray is one of my favorite "colors" (as is a warm brown) and I have a couple gray throws to keep me warm if I'm sitting doing something in the living room in winter, etc. I'd associate the gray with what I like and then go looking for that. Black and white are "stark" to me (though I like black as a "color" too with others), kind of like stainless steel kitchens? I want wood kitchens, a big, old, beaten up farm table and an open window with calico curtains, etc. So, if I catch myself feeling "sharp" and caring too much what another person thinks or does then I know I'm in my stainless steel kitchen and need to cross over to the comfy farm kitchen. I wander off and start making a loaf of bread :-) That gets me thinking about me only and what I'm doing and thinking and feeling and want for me instead of what I want for someone else (that they behave, think, feel in a way I want them to).