Would this make you uncomfortable tw

So my dad cant read. So today he tells me to go in the bookstore to help him find the movie strip tease. Then he talks about one of the actresses legs then pops the dvd in and watches it with me sitting there. I had no way home. Then he asks me to read this obscene texts from randim girls he has been texting. I often cant tell whats normal or not. Would that make you uncomfortable?

I'd feel quite grossed out about it and would probably refuse

I am sorry you had to do that

Yeah, that would make me quite uncomfortable...

It would make me uncomfortable as well

Yes, I wouldn't like that either.

Hmmmm how does he text if he can't read?

I would NEVER be a part of anyone's life like that. I would nicely tell him to spend his time learning to read instead of the activities he chooses to waste his time on. If you don't enable his inability to read & he either has to learn or do without he may realize he can't get by being like this any longer.

Fugetaboutit!! (Boston for forget about it) Gross...wicked gross!!!

He can text how are you baby and a few other things but thats about it. He can read but very little. I dont want to hurt his feelings. When we went in vacation a few weeks ago I wouldnt do it. I wasnt about to spend my vacation like that.

& yet it has been OK for him to ask you to things that go against what your feelings say is ok or you wouldn't be asking here

I should also mention that my father rubs my leg in the car sometimes. He does it to everybody but to me at least once a month. I have always hated it. He did it wjen I was a teen and I told my mother and she never let me leave my sister alone with him after that.I just dont want to make him feel bad. He is my rock.

I would feel very uncomfortable if my dad did that.

Just curious how you consider him your rock when he does things that bother you so much? ( just curious about your logic in that statement)

Hard for me to understand because my dad was out there & embarrassed me totally wuth his arguing about things I knew he knew nothing about. My mom wasn't much better & I knew I couldn't trust them for guidance in any directikn I wanted to head my life in. Neither of my parents I would have ever considered to be my rock & they didn't do the things your dad does. I guess I became so independent that no one ever filled the position of a rock in my life.....so the concept you are expressing & the logic behind it though foreign to me is interesting to learn about the thinking that goes into that feeling.

I'm wondering the same thing as eskielover is.

He is the only one there for me in difficult situations, always buys me stuff, we have a good time together with the exception of this stuff.

What percentage of the total time is the stuff you have a problem with?

Is his buying you stuff his buying your loyalty so you will feel like you have to tolerate the things he does?

Abusers groom the people they abuse in similar ways & the people do enjoy being with their abusers or they wouldn't stick around for thecabuser to abuse them.

Just make sure your boundaries are firm. He may not be such a rock afterall.....just something to possibly think about & be aware of.

Id say 30%. Im not saying he is a abuser though. Just his boundaries are a little messed up. He loves me thats why he does for me. Its just not a good time for him to be like this not that anytime is. I mean I had flashback in Feb. of him making me kiss him on the mouth when I was younger in a forceful way but I cant tell my age or the context it was in so it may be nothing.

that's called rationalizing behaviors that are just plain wrong no matter what context it may be in. Your dad's behaviors would definitely be questionable to others. Only reason it isn't to you is because that was what you were conditioned to think might be normal.

My dad is not an abuser.

Even from someone who is not an abuser what you described in your flashback is wrong behavior from a dad just like the hands on your legs.

He may have a mental illness such as a sex addiction causing the behavior but it is still wrong.

He probably just said I love you and kissed me real hard on the mouth. No big deal.

And the fact that your mother didn't want your sister alone with him means what to you ? You don't want him to feel bad? I don't get it. You explained this as a problem, then get defensive if anyone questions it.

I'm honestly not trying to be mean but this sounds like something other than a father.

I think he does some things that are outside the box but I wouldnt call him an abuser by any means. He is just my horny dad. My mother just was afraid he might do something to my sister because what he did made me uncomfortable and she was just trying to be a good mom and I was and am probably overeacting.

I feel like if it was no big deal, you wouldn't have brought it up.

It sounds like your dad has done some very inappropriate things with you. I would be very uncomfortable with any of the things you've described. My dad never touches me like that, or talks to me about his sex life. That would be a huge boundary violation.

I know it's very scary to think about it, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. You must be so scared and uncomfortable, not knowing when this will happen again.


The reason people describe this behavior as abusive isn't to scare you or to be mean to your dad. He might be wonderful that 70% of the time, we don't know him. But the behavior you describe is classic sexual grooming behavior. Even if he's wonderful the rest of the time, these aren't the normal actions of a loving father.


It's normal to be scared and confused by that. Tell your mom or another trusted adult in your life how you're feeling and what's going on, if you can.

OMG "My horny dad"????" Do you hear yourself ? I'm out.