can i just say...

ginger biscuits are addictive

they are!

bad, bad, week

in the last 2 days i've eaten almost half a fridge (well not litirally of course), but over the half the stuff i ordered in has gone

[Nimportequoi]

I ate FOUR chocolate donuts today.

[Angelique67]

I've eaten at least 6 family sized bags of chips (potato and corn, and rice) and candy since maybe less than 2 weeks ago. I am looking at my legs and they keep getting incrementally bigger. It has to stop but i feel so lonesome for chips when I haven't got any left.

[Angelique67]

I just finished almost a whole Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I had maybe 4 spoonfuls last night, and finished it a little while ago. And I'll still probably open my "medium" bag of M&Ms. Unless I go to sleep now. If I do, i can watch TCM in the wee hours. Interesting shorts etc. On early Sunday mornings.

What's awful is i didn't even want to talk to my friend when he called from the airport because I wanted to finish the rest of my melted ice cream! That makes me a terrible person. I'm so afraid for him going off like this. Yes, I'm mad at him.

[LucyD]

This is my first visit here. I have stopped buying my super bingey food but am scared I could binge on anything. I haven't today. Thank you to the forces that be.

[Anrea]

When I keep busy, especially outside, I do great at not overeating and constant grazing. However, all the yard work is caught up, and I am stuck inside today..... Already assembly line thoughts of different foods is passing through my mind.

[LucyD]

I noticed that keeping busy helps too. Like looking up all kinds of stuff on the internet. I looked up Lamictal as an alternative to Topamax. It says you can get a deadly rash from it. I have a lot to do around here but haven't done it yet. Haven't binged since I've been on the Topamax. Almost 2 weeks, that is. Seems like a miracle considering I was binging every single day before that. I felt so disgusted with myself and didn't even know there was medication for binge eating. Then my doctor prescribed it. So far so good. Just have to drink lots of water with this med. Doctor says because you can get kidney stones if you don't drink enough water.

binged a lot yesterday, but still was able to get a good dinner in (my apetite is something else!)

not a great start to today either, probably only going to get worse

[Anrea]

Stayed up all night. Meaning, was able to fit 3 extra meals in. I don't even feel close to the surface (control/normalcy) but instead feel drowned in food addiction with no idea which direction to swim up to for air. Telling self, "JUST STOP EATING", but the voice is distant and lacks strength or conviction. I know time will turn, so I don't feel desperate or too depressed. I just feel, unable to fight.

this is how little motivation i have to eat right

i've auto planned what i'm going to eat this week without even thinking about it

monday- mcdonalds takeout

tuesday- pizza takeout

wednesday- chicken nuggets (cooked, but still not healthy really)

thursday- KFC (takeout)

friday- sausages and chips (takeout)

i think the only chance i have of redeeming myself is not to have a lot of snacks during the day, but looking at today i've all ready failed

[Anrea]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

this is how little motivation i have to eat right

i've auto planned what i'm going to eat this week without even thinking about it

monday- mcdonalds takeout

tuesday- pizza takeout

wednesday- chicken nuggets (cooked, but still not healthy really)

thursday- KFC (takeout)

friday- sausages and chips (takeout)

i think the only chance i have of redeeming myself is not to have a lot of snacks during the day, but looking at today i've all ready failed

Wish I was THERE! Nearing the end of the month, 1/2 of celery left, 2 onions, and 4 potatoes is the last of my veggies. Now I will be starting on my frozen soups, lots of rice dishes, and things flavored with bouillon. It doesn't matter what I have, I will find something to binge on as long as it is edible.

But I really like that you post, and respond regularly. I think we all have an opportunity here to find some key as to where this comes from and eventually unraveling the emotion).

I was talking to my husband about how I eat when I am not busy and the conversation took an interesting turn to the mind.

He always keeps himself mentally active learning new things. At this time, he is learning to roll a pen in his fingers as he works. Like how people roll a coin back and forth. He has the type of mind that constantly wants new information. My mind doesn't seek new mountains. Anyway, he thought, if I had an interest in something like that, it would keep my mind distracted so I didn't think about food constantly.

Just to clarify: He loves me just as I am and doesn't have a problem with anything about me, he was not complaining or wanting me to change, he was doing what he always does, try to think of solutions to a dilemma I bring up.

I find as I analyze the pattern of my addiction, I act on it when I am bored - which is OFTEN. Not mentally bored actually, just not manically focused on a task. I think it is more then boredom, but I mean - when my mind isn't actively focused on a task, my thoughts automatically seek out food thoughts to seek calmness and inner - idk, safety and comfort.

So for me, I think it is way wrapped up in giving me security. So I ask myself, what is causing the anxiety....

Anyway, just food for thought (PUN NOT INTENDED) hope it gives anyone some ideas as to how to pinpoint/process why we are doing what we are doing.

Best of luck to us all.

PS Edit:
Ate a salad as I wrote, now that I am finished, as SOON as I re-read and was happy with what I wrote, my brain did the relax back, then the food thoughts started again, and I am thinking of getting something. Even thought I just finished eating and am not hungry - IDC, I am going to look for something else. I am seeking a certain feeling that only comes when I feel full, but the thing is, the more I eat, that full feeling never seems within reach, it is always more.. more... more). It is a mystery. But hugs to us all! We will be together on this journey.

Edit 2. I will take a little walk around the yard and try to focus on something else.

and it gets worse..

so in short, i ate my mcdonalds really fast (not that i actually needed too, i just really wanted the food)

then spent the evening eating monster munch. i don't just mean 1 or 2 packets... 17 packets later, i was still on the hunt for food

i was planning to read my book and watch a bit of family guy

so much for that, then

[Anrea]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

and it gets worse..

so in short, i ate my mcdonalds really fast (not that i actually needed too, i just really wanted the food)

then spent the evening eating monster munch. i don't just mean 1 or 2 packets... 17 packets later, i was still on the hunt for food

i was planning to read my book and watch a bit of family guy

so much for that, then

Triple hugs

[LucyD]

Yesterday I had oatmeal and a banana for breakfast, a sandwich of onion and mustard and vegetarian "meat" for lunch, and boiled onions, potatoes, carrots, tofu, and celery for dinner then strawberries for a snack twice.

I've read binge eating disorder may be a chemical imbalance and may be inherited somehow. I haven't binged in over two weeks now. So glad my doctor prescribed the Topomax even though it makes me sort of tired. I'm waiting for that to wear off.

[Anrea]

Awoke with dehydration headache (not enough water, too much food) - with head to toe body aches. Trying to drink coffee to get metabolism up, get energy up, and get bowels moving but instead coffee is making me have bad acid and upset stomach.

Good thing is, feeling awful stops over-eating. Bad thing is, I feel awful.

I had two really good days with keeping my food in check and exercise. Today I had to go to an intensive training course about child safe environments for work, all the discussions regarding various child abuse was a bit of a trigger for me so I binged on sushi and noodles on the way home. Just feeding the sadness tomorrow is a new one <3

Originally Posted by Anrea

Awoke with dehydration headache (not enough water, too much food) - with head to toe body aches. Trying to drink coffee to get metabolism up, get energy up, and get bowels moving but instead coffee is making me have bad acid and upset stomach.

Good thing is, feeling awful stops over-eating. Bad thing is, I feel awful.

dehydration sucks, and i try not to do it.

i know how bad it feels.. nowadays i find myself drinking something- even though i'm not thirsty... sort of like an anxiety about it happening

always soda though (today i did actually drink some juice) and only had 1 can of soda.

food wise.. good morning, then went downhill- and just started eating a whole pack of crackers

[LucyD]

Hi. That's all I have to say today.

Originally Posted by LucyD

Hi. That's all I have to say today.

hey lucy

hugs

[LucyD]

Thank you all for the hugs. I feel dehydrated too. I noticed my mouth is very dry and I am hardly urinating. I better start drinking more water. After I finish my glass of wine.

[Anrea]

2 large cups of boullion earlier, cup of coffee with milk, spinach salad,

go to store, get angry for ZERO reason (maybe mix of caffeine and meds) Come home with a plan to eat my way to happiness again.

So far just potatoes with butter and water. Running out of fun things to eat annoys me.

What was a pretty good day changed on a dime. Oddly enough, I don't FEEL like binging. Maybe anger and binging don't go together. Even thought I WANT to eat to find a better mood, I don't feel like it.

Weird. IDK why. But I guess it's a good thing. (got my apostrophe working again)

<3 Hugs to you all. We WILL find solutions.

[Anrea]

Real hunger from not eating yet. So THIS is what it feels like.

[LucyD]

I haven't eaten yet today and am kind of afraid to. Just had some coffee. Slept a lot today. Feel like why did I have to get this eating problem? I'm tired of it already.

Yesterday I bought lots of veggies and some fruit. Maybe I can just have one meal today. I don't know. I don't even trust myself when it comes to eating.

I get thoughts that I shouldn't eat anything and then sometimes I eat a lot after I think that. I think it's myself rebelling against me wanting to starve myself.

Haven't really decided what I'm going to have to eat today yet. I don't feel real hungry right now.

Some veggies would be healthy I guess.

Today was totally inactive, spent inside studying or catching up on paperwork etc, I haven't gone outside of my meals but I totally binged on crap yesterday and have been feeling sick for it today. Muesli, veg soup and water/coffee so far, planning on just a salad for dinner and an earlyish night. Weekend is here for me so wish me luck in the snack attacks lol