Text T how I feel...

Cats,

when I read your thread I just want to hug you and not let go until the pain goes away. When I read how she talks to you I think of how completely awful I would feel if my therapist said even a fraction of what she has said to you and my heart breaks for you.

The things she said about your last therapist having refered you to her was unprofessional, hurtful and really childish!

I can understand how hard it must be to make the decison to leave her or find someone new....she has been in your life for a long time and you have invested so much in the relationship with her, but when I read your posts it feels like a battered spouse who keeps getting abused but says they love the person and stays with them, only to be abused more.

If you told this stuff that she is saying to you, to another therapist I think they would be appauled.

Would you consider perhaps looking for another therapist and maybe seeing someone for a few appoints to test them out. You don't have to end with your current T before you do it and if I was you I wouldnt even tell her but it may just help you to talk to someone completely impartial (not even your last therapist)?? It's just a thought, I know its not easy.

I am glad your session went ok...but at the same time I am shocked by it also...how can she behave like she has no clue as to why you would feel the way you do. It's crazymaking!! It almost sounds like she is completely delusional. how can she treat someone like she has treated you and then act like everything is fine in the session!?

Does she ever talk to you face to face the way she does in phone calls??

****massive hugs****

She has talked to me 2 times like that face to face and I cried both times. I am still waiting for my old psychologist to call me back. I don't know why he is taking so long...

Seriously why hasn't my psychologist called me back yet??

Maybe he's on vacation? I'd suggest calling again to be sure he got your message. Did you call an office or did you call him directly? When was the last time you contacted him? Do you have an agreement that he will still see you? I think vacation is the most likely answer, though.

Is it a pattern that she does these things and then apologizes? She treated you so poorly on the phone that I hope her apology was a super duper one and helped you understand why she treats you this way and also included the statement that she will not treat you this way again. I hope it was all that, and more! I also hope you have set some kind of personal "limit" on how much more you will take (aka "setting a boundary"). You have accepted her apology this time, but I hope that inside you have told yourself "no more" and if she does it again, you will ditch her.

I am very sorry to hear about your mom, cats. This was not a good time for her (your T) to say and do this.

I think you are making a huge mistake here in not confronting her on the boundaries topic. You can't let this slide like nothing happened...

I'm hoping that he's on vaction...

cats- you've been eerily quiet since you met with your T. Are you ok?

Sorry KareBear, I know I have been quiet...I'm dreading T going away. I got an email from my old psychologist this morning. He thanked me for getting in touch with him through email. He said the reason that he didn't return my calls is because he is in Europe right now until July 25th. He said that he would be more than happy to see me then if I like and in the meantime he said "Keep threading water Cats,......swim even"

Hi Cats,

I am glad he replied and he will return in 9 days, i'm sorry it can't be sooner but at least the answer was positive. May I just ask if this psychologist is the person that your T said refered you to him??

**huge hugs**
Diz xxxx

Oh no Cats, I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time recently I know that T being away must be hard for you, however difficult things have been with her. I hope that in the meantime you are able to get some insight on the situation, perhaps from your former T. Very best wishes to your mother and you- that is such tough news to take in

Yes, he is the one that made the referral to her.

......and the boundaries cross yet again...

What does that mean cats?? Did T call you again?

...and it will keep on happen again, again and again if you do not talk straight to your therapist and make a point about this whole situation.

I don't mean to be rude with you and I'm sorry if I sound like this, but for how hard and uncomfortable it may seem, you really need to clear up this stuff with her, before she took the liberty of crossing boundaries again (only to put the blame on you like she already did).

Something like that and asked me for a favour.

how did that feel?

It actually didn't bother me and I did her the favour but in the back of my mind I was thinking, there go the boundaries again, out the window...

Yeah. Did she seem to realize that she was crossing her own boundaries? What exactly happened? Is the story posted in another thread? (Sorry to be nosy, I've been following along and am curious about how this is going for you.)

Are you confused by her calling and asking a favor cats? And just curious.... if thought she was crossing a boundry again, why didn't you mention it?

Is the crossing boundry thing a big deal to you- or not really and the only reason why you're really paying any attention to it is because she brought it up??

So she's not practising what she preaches....

No bloody wonder you're confused.

I don't know if she realised that she was crossing her boundaries. It should have been obvious to her. It was to me. She asked me if I could drive her to the airport.

I don't know if it is confusion...maybe it is....I? didn't mention it because it doesn't bother me. It's her that gets bothered by it not me. Again she was the one who first initiated the crossing and blurring of boundaries.

I know right?