Text T how I feel...

But maybe the relationship can be repaired...

hopping into your pocket!

Thinking of you!

jumpping in cats.i hope it goes ok

thinking of you cats, I know this isn't easy for you!
maybe the relationship can be repaired, maybe not, but it sure shouldn't continue as it is, that much I know.
I know you do love her; perhaps she loves you, too! but maybe she has more attachment to you than she ought as well after all this time, and some of that is behind all this trouble right now with how she is acting toward you. sometimes ppl we love we treat in more cavalier ways, just because of the familiarity with them, and I see her doing that to you.....
I wish the best for you, since I have come to feel a certain cyber-fondness for you!

Cyber fondness...... I really like that poetgirl!!

Scoot over people!!!!!! I'm in your pocket too cats! Please let us know how it goes today.

Thinking so much about you!

have you look at other Therapist she dos not sound to nice

I want to be in your pocket too, cats.

((Cats))

I SO get this. It makes sense to me.

Probably, one of the biggest difficulties I have had in therapy is for T's to recognize their OWN stuff. Recently, my current T did something really stupid. It triggered alot of pain for me. I sent T an email asking if he was going to "punish" me for HIS error. (There had been a pattern with two other T's) Sometimes, T's don't like to see negative parts of themselves. I don't know if that is what is happening here but it may be the case.

Hey Cats, I just have one quick question. Is your t about the same age as yourself? You have gotten so much feedback that has been truly worth listening. I know that this is not a decision that can be made solely on logic with out the emotional mind piece being considered. She has been a huge (mostly supportive) figure in your life for 8 yrs!

As you disclose more information about such unprofessional things that she has said to you it really makes me sad and angry. Of course a client would come to the conclusion that she is trying to push them away when she has herself admitted to this apalling behavior. Medical doctors take a hippocratic oath when they receive their liscensure and first and foremost is to do no harm to the patient. Being intentionally mean or derogatory to a client that she wishes to not care for any longer is indeed DOING HARM. Her words and behaviors are affecting your mental illness and emotional stability. You are a vulnerable client and she is the professional doctor.

Now with all that said there is a whole picture here to look at. According to you she has helped you a lot in the past and you have been her client for a long time. Relationships of any sort are messy and difficult to navigate especially one of this nature. It is my hope for you that it doesn't end right now. Not this way. I sincerely hope your old t calls you back so you can get some professional advice and support about this. Maybe a third party intervention (like couples counseling) is a possibiltiy? Just for a session or two. I would surely think her language and comments would be more accurate and nonjudgemental with another proffesional present. What ever you decide you will need lots of support.

I myself quit seeing a homeopath provider that was doing classical homeopathy on me and therapy at the same time. I was so attached to her and I also felt that she would punish me at times. I ended the relationship and it hurt...BAD! But it does get easier. The loneliness did lessen after a while. It has been over a year and I still wish to talk to her at times. I wrote her an email expressing that I still missed her and was amazed at how long it had been. She never replied and it is probably for the best. I realized I wasn't paying for her services, I didn't give a darn about the potions she would give me. I was trying to pay her for something she could never give me. I wanted her to be my mom. It was unfair to her that she didn't know what exactly I wanted. I am sure it was just as frustrating and painful for her at times. I do just want to be clear that she never spoke to me in the unprofessional manner your t has or said intentionally hurtful things. So it is not the same situation, only similar in the fact that there was an huge attachment on my behalf and it did end abruptly due to unresolved conflict.

Maybe you could do some soul searching when she is away and make a list of all the things you want from your t. What are you really paying her for and is it something she can give to you? If you can't get what you need from her is there someone else who could help you. Could you go to her for your meds and another t for therapy sessions? The relationship wouldn't be completely lost just shifted. You wouldn't lose her and you would gain more support.

My t says now that he does want me to be dependent on him and he wants to increase my circle of support at the same time. That sounds gentle to me and I am willing to work with that.

I will be thinking of you today at your appointment. You don't have to make a decision today. You will know when you know.

Pardon me for saying this , but her method of terminating with patients is both immature and nonprofessional,and goes against all generaly accepted standards.

That said, I just want to say, cats, that I remember the day I got the same phone call about my mom. There are no words to describe the feelings that you feel, so many, so fast. What your T said to you was cruel and abusive, when you needed her to be supportive and understanding. I hope things turn out ok for your mom.

She has created whatever boundary problems she is complaining about, not you. I know you have felt close to her, but many abuse victim feel close to their abusers. I hope you old T can see you and you can have a really honest heart to heart talk with him/her. Things are just not going right with your T right now cats, I hate to say.

Let us know how today went. Thinking of you.

Kacey, my T is 13yrs older than me.

Thanks for all the replies today!

Well, I saw T today. I went in saying nothing and took my spot on the couch and looked at her. She said she knew something was up and could tell from the moment that she went to get me from the waiting room. She asked why I was so silent and if I was going to be mute for the session. I said maybe and sat there a little bit longer trying to muster the courage to say what I wanted to say. I finally came out and said it. I said "Dr ------- are you trying to get rid of me??" She gave a bewildered look and said "No, why would you even think that? If I wanted to get rid of you I would be direct and tell you that I think that you should see another T. I am only indirect with new patients before I actually start therapy with them." I said "Oh, it feels like you are trying to push me away and that's what you said you do when you don't want to see a patient, you try to get them to not want to see you." She said "You asking this is making me think that you aren't wanting to work with me now." I said "I didn't say that, it just feels like you are pushing me away." So we talked about it a little more and she said "No I am not trying to get rid of you, I have no reason to, I really like you and I care about you and I want to help you. I am only trying to shift and switch things, NOT get rid of you or push you away and I am sorry that it feels like that."
My session was pretty good overall. It was the last time that I see her for 2 weeks while she is away. So I guess that is my update on todays session...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. She sounded much calmer cats. Did she apologize to you for losing her temper with you? Did she carve out any new "boundaries" for you? Did she claim responsibilty at all for making you feel the way you did??

I'm kinda perplexed now cats. Not sure what to think. You sound LIKE YOU'RE NUMB. Are you??

I've read everything that you've said about your sessions with your therapist/psychiatrist, Cats (both on this thread and other threads), and I want to extend my deepest and most profound empathy for what you are being subjected to as a client. I know, from your posts (especially this last one that follows what I would describe as totally unethical behavior on your therapist's part) that this is probably not going to mean anything to you, but I really wanted you to know that I am sending you compassion and sympathy for what you are going through with your therapist. I do feel that you are not currently at a place to understand what she is doing to you therapeutically, and that is NOT your fault, it is hers and hers alone. If she knew that you were going to take what she has said and done to you to her ethical/professional regulators, she would be sweating bullets right now. But she knows that she has you hooked. And that is not your fault. She has been unethical and totally over the line in her treatment of you as a client. Please take care and know that if things do not work out with her, now, a year from now, two years from now or longer, please, please seek out another therapist and tell that person what happened to you. If that person is professional, compassionate and ethical, it will and can lead to some real healing for you. I'm sorry but what is happening right now is none of these things. Please take care and know that none of what I have said is a commentary on you as a person or client in psychotherapy. Take care!

Yes Karebear, I think that I am numb. She did apologise but no there were no new boudaries carved...

lots and lots of hugs, PTSDlovemycats.

I forgot, my T also told me today that she doesn't think that I am ready to be able to handle working on my flashbacks yet...

So- what are you supposed to do- just ignore the flashbacks?

Well, I guess we will work on them eventually when I am ready but yea, I don't really know...

So, what you're saying, Cats, is that you are satisfied and comfortable with the level of treatment that your therapist/psychiatirst is currently providing? That you have no question that she supports any and all the investigative/intropsepctive work that you are willing to do regarding your internal/emotional life? And she is ready to assist you in invest/exploring your past and present life in regard to how it has influenced and/or impacted your present life?

Cats, I realize that my response can be viewed as argumentative or confrontative. Please know that is not my purpose. I am a feminist. It wounds me ... .it hurts me that women, young women like yourself, are made to see themselves as incapable, stuck and/or unable to be something! NO WOMAN is INCAPABLE OR USELESS. You are able to overcome whatever your therapist believes is lost. She is wrong! I know that your believie that you can't accomplish anything, but you know what?. . . YOU can accomplish something. I did! And no one. . . . absolutely no one believed that I could do what I wanted to do. Guess what? They were wrong. It's about you. ONLY YOU CAN BELIEVE! Was it easy? Absolutely NOT! I had to put up with their stupid belief until I could get away and post and talk with other people in a place like this! Take advantage of the support and love here. Dont always rely on what is offered by a therapist. Sometimes they have a greater need for support and acceptance than their clients. Your therapist sounds like someone who thrieves, NEEDS the acceptance, love and elevation that comes from being a therapist/psychiatrist. There are too few trained people who really and truly GET how to set, maintain and work BOUNDARIES. They don't have to be punitive and ugly. They can be caring, loving and steady. How do I know? I've experienced both kinds. and I know what truly works. really does work!

Thank you Jaybird and no I did not take your post as argumentative or confrontive. Simply concerned and honest and I apprecitate that. Thanks again.

OMG! Over 7,000 views! That is intense!