[cstrong82]

I had my first baby nine months ago and for the last 6months it has been a guessing game with the doctors about my mental state. They said post partum, then axiety, then bi polar, now schizoohrenia! They have pumped me up with meds galor, sent me to therapists, and support groups. Nothing has changed or worked. I feel crazy all of the time and one step away from the big white padded room.

[JustBen]

Oh my, I can't imagine how frustrated and angry you must be. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope things get better for you soon.

[Sabrina]

The guessing game thing and meds for everything including meds for every side effect - I know the drill.

I wish you and your baby strength. You are obvioulsy a good Mom.

[greenfairy]

i know its frustrating, but i thought you should know that during the first year or so after giving birth, it seems fairly common for a woman feeling down to be diagnosed with postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis. . .its happened to me and a few other people i know. maybe doctors automatically assume whatever youre feeling that first year was brought on by childbirth and the baby blues because of all the physical and hormonal changes you go through. i think that sometimes they're right on the money.. .and obviously sometimes theres something else entirely thats going on.
just try to stick with the therapy. tell your doctor exactly how youre feeling and thinking, so he or she can get the most accurate sense of whats going on. i'm proud of you for getting help when you have all those new mommy jobs to do. it shows how strong you are. you dont need a padded room, just some understanding. hugs and fluffy pillows coming your way. take care and be safe.

[wiertjuh]

It is difficult to diagnose psychiatric disorders especially when you have lived through a "traumatic" event like a birth. It leaves you at risk for depression and psychoses. I am not a psychiatrist but perhaps it is good to make an inventory of the most relevant complaints and than view the DSM IV ttogether with your T, to see which diagnose is most suitable.
I hope you will come further in this. It isnt easy to have troubles without a diagnose.
Lots of love
Wiertjuh

[cstrong82]

Thank you for your thoughts. My support groups have been a joke. I thought my situation was minor until I went to a group and it was just a bunch of moms complaining about how tired and busy they were. My situation actually became dangerous to the point that people stay with me out of fear that I might hurt my daughter or myself. When she cries it is like a serial killer temper comes out of me. Some days I love her and can't think of life without her. Other days I just want her to disapear, or that I should leave because it would be better for her. Sometimes she doesn't even have to do anything but look at me. I have many supports with family, doctors and therapists and nothing is helping. I have such bad panic attacks that I hyperventalate and have passed out. It has gotten to the point that I am terrified to have any more children incase they make me literally more crazy. The guessing games just adds more stress because I feel horrible and nobody can tell me what is wrong.

i am so sorry. this sounds like hell for you. have you gone to someone new? perhaps a change might prove helpful. xoxoxo pat

cstrong82,
I'm sorry for what you are going through, it must be quite exhausting for you.

You don't have to answer this in public.... but before you had your baby--- were you basically OK? And another question...... was the birth with complications??-- or traumatic in some way?

I experienced trauma during the delivery of my first child. -- I read how some women actually experience PTSD in some instances, during childbirth.

And also-- contrary to what some people say-- humans do not have a built in instinct to care for infants-- we have to learn it from example or be taught-- Could it be that you are anxious about being a new mother?

Just some things to think about.... I feel for you-- mothering is very very hard. If you want to PM me you are welcome to do so anytime.

Wishing you the best,
mandy

[cstrong82]

I'm thankful for your reply but what is DSM IV? giving birth wasn't the traumatic part. it was realizing that now I am responcible for someone. How she turns out as a person totally falls on me. I had a pretty crappy childhood and now I am scared that I have to protect her from the horrible that is the world. I didn't even want to have children because I thought the world is so cruel; why would I bring an innocent life into that!The world isn't what is used to be when even I was a kid and just seems to get worse as time goes on.

[sometimes]

I wrote ya a reply but twas deleted.

HA HA HA HA HA

(Imagine what it said!)

How typical of me, getting posts deleted.

Tut tut

Welcome and DSM IV TR stands for Diagnostic Statistical Manual 4th edition Text Revised. Its the textbook that therapy professionals use for helping them to diagnose a persons mental problems.

I just found out last week that the DSM IV TR (Diagnostic Statistical Manual 4th edition Text Revised) is now considered out dated as the DSM V (Diagnostic Statistical Manual 5 edition) has been published and released.

[sometimes]

You have loaded some pictures of a dog. Is that your dog?

I have a golden retriever called Milo.

But, lol, he also answers to puppet, puppy shmuppy and doggie woggie.

He can sit, drop, roll, beg, crawl, sleep, stay, heel, jump up on my bed and jump into his pool on command. He doesn't come when he's called but and he bites people when it suits him. He kills birds and eats them. He never thinks about anything but food (being a retriever). He used to fetch but he can't be stuffed doing it anymore. So he's not a real RETREIVER, and he used to be white so he wasn't really GOLDEN and being good with kids and people, well kids and strangers are the people he bites.

We play tug of war, and cuddle but i hate walking him, if we lived near the beach i would take him there.

When he plays up my ***** sister says *****ily "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED A DOG" When it suits, however, it is the family dog.

[JustBen]

Are you sure about that, myself? Last I heard, the formal workgroups for the development of DSMV weren't even being formed until 2007.

[cstrong82]

The boxer is my daughters puppy. her name is Nala. The dalmation and pug is just a cute picture of my sisterinlaws dogs. Nala is an awsome dog. she is surprizingly gentle with my daughter. Even when my daughter pulls on nala's ears or face the dog ignores her and looks at us like "aren't you gonna stop her". nala sits, lays down, goes to HER BED, fetches, and plays with balls like a cat.If she hears my daughter cry over the monitor she comes and tells us.The only problem with the dog is if I leave her with my fiance alone for the weekend she destroys the house. Last time i left she chewed our movies and my living room blinds. and she is a bed hog if i let her in my bed. She is over affectionate. An in your face kind of dog. she thinks she is a lap dog. <font color="#000088"> </font>

[sometimes]

There's such a warmth to your posts. And you're kind of cheeky too.

I've been told off today for posting innappropriate stuff and i was just trying to have a laugh.

We should really take this convo to social. Make a post there and i'll reply!

Some

[(JD)]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
The most recent version is the 'Text Revision' of the DSM-IV, also known as the DSM-IV-TR, published in 2000. The vast majority of the criteria for the diagoses were not changed from DSM-IV. The text in between the criteria was updated.
DSM-V, is tentatively scheduled for publication in 2011, with initial planning having begun in 1999. The APA Division of Research expects to begin forming DSM development workgroups in 2007

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm sorry to hear that after many months you are still feeling unwell. Ask the doctors about how much longer will you feel like being one step away from the padded room... does one doctor know about ALL the meds you are on... maybe you're being hyped by a combination? Hang in there... I hope you can find better answers for yourself soon.

[cstrong82]

I am still here thank you for your responces

yea I met with the DHS caseworker about my son last week and we were discussing his diagnosis. He said (son's name) is _____ and I told him that means my son has (disorder) from the DSM IV right? and he said that the new DSM V was out and with the criteria in it for this disorder this state will not acknowledge or label my son as having this until he is 18. He didn't say no like he has in the past when I asked detail questions about my son. So basically my son has a disorder but because of the new criteria and state mental health standards they cant say right out he has this disorder. He is getting treament needed so not being labeled this is no big deal but now that I know, it certainly explains what is going on with my son.

I don't know if it is out for the general public or just the professionals. Also it wouldn't be the first time a DHS caseworker lied to me. so you may be right.

[hereiam]

Just in response about the DSM-V...it isn't published and shouldn't be until around 2011ish, if not later. Myself - your doc might have the Research Agenda book on the DSM-V but they haven't even began publication, nevermind publishing.

http://www.dsm5.org/

[(JD)]

Maybe the worker didn't "lie" but misspoke about which reference she was thinking?

[wisewoman]

cstrong, I am sorry you are having such a tough time of it. I wonder what would happen if you did an internet search for places that specialize in this type of thing. We must know more then we used to. I am not taking this lightly at all, you must be in a living hell. I wonder if there are residential programs for you and baby? Also, you mention the responsibility and guilt for bringing another life into our messed up world and feeling soley responsible for what happens in her life. That is a lot to take on. We do the best we can and heck yeah babies are a ton of responsibility. Sometimes a little faith helps. Please hang in there and keep us posted.