she does hate me

i absolutely associate being pushed away or put in a corner by someone as them being angry at me, or wanting to hurt me, or punish me, humiliate me,or any one of a million horrible things that go through my mind.in my home the corner was not necessarily used as punishment (but sometimes).but as a means to keep me out of the mothers hair.it was always "go get in that damn corner and stay there until i am ready to deal with you.i would spend a lot of time there .it is the fact that T is putting me there and i cant figure out what i did why does she need this space.i wasn't rude,mean,disrespectful or anything that i can remember.i just feels horrible

It may be the therapist moving the chair away, but it may be for reasons other than the ones you immediately go to - and it could even be to make clients feel more comfortable (ones like me - I did have to tell the one I see to stay back away from me because she kept moving in too close) and not to punish clients (how it feels to you). OR the chair placement may well have nothing to do with you at all. I believe you do have the strength to tell her about this even if it is not easy for you. Is the pain of telling her any worse than the pain you are in right now?

yesterday no the pain was way more unbearable but so much so i could say nothing .today not sso bad but bearable.so does it mean i can handle her moving the chair into the corner.yup maybe today because i am not there.next wednsday when confronted with the same situation not so sure.will the pain be as bad again probibly will i be able to say something i fear not. words go away.but maybe if i am prepaired and know how much it hurts????

i know if i go in there wednsday and the chair is in the corner i wont be able to sit in it .that i know i cant do it anymore.but then what do i do.leave?

Can you just move the chair perhaps?

i did entertain this option last night for about a second. but then was bombarded with horrible thoughts of .she moved it for a reason boundaries and such.she wants me away.i could not and should not invade her space.but have no idea what i did for her to need such space after 3 years. and OMG what if i moved it and she told me to put it back in the corner and sit in it.that it was there for a reason

No you don't leave, you tell her about it. Granite, I know this feels impossible for you, but you have done it before and it worked out. I know you can do it.

Granite, I can tell you that I have moved my chair many many many many times. T has never told me that I can't. I have been angry and pushed it back against the wall behind me, I have changed the direction that the chair was pointing. One time T said something that unexpectedly triggered me and I spun the chair around while I was still seated. I don't even think I could perform that feat again if I wanted to. It's not a wheeled chair!

She may be trying to give you more space because she knows you are scared.

The best way to find out is to ask her why the chair is in the corner.

Did the previous client move it and T didn't notice ? Email...just ask, don't beat herself up over something that may be completly unrelated. It's tax time, maybe she has IRS issues..bad day, it happens, this could all be a serious of misfortunate events. Huh?

it's like she's pushing you to dissociate, upping the ante from last week. This is pretty intense stuff for one day a week outpatient. I would maybe see about getting a 2nd opinion, other treatment options?

When I don't talk, my T has to guess what is going on in my head. Despite having 25 years of experience, he does not guess right very often. The second I manage to tell him the smallest piece of what I am thinking, he latches on and immediately starts helping me.

They can't know what is hurting you unless you tell them. She does not know what the chair in the corner means to you.

how is that "intense"? Chair moved few inches (when the therapists probably has no clue what this means to granite) and offering her water and mints?

As opposed to looking for somebody new and starting anew, who will not know about her?


let's not blow this out of proportion. It seems little things, unintentional. Granite needs to explore why is she reacting like this and learn how to cope with this... and most importantly, how to communicate her needs. Would starting from the scratch over a tiny incident help? I don!t think so.

i dont want to find another T i want this one to be like she was.i want to understand why.i want her to not be frustrated with me. she did ask if my doc was prescribing something to help me calm down and sleep at night.i want to be normal i want to not give a rats *** if some unimportant person moves the stupid chair into a corner.lol god that felt good to say.thanks hankster

Can you see the feelings ^ from the past that were triggered up by that chair in the corner?

Can you see how you could have assigned these things to your T when they were coming from you being triggered?

Can you see how you are fitting T into your past here and assigning things to her that might not belong to her?

I don't think T would punish an adult by putting chair in corner.

ANd there is difference. You have not been told to "stay in corner". She still communicated with you. She offered you water and candy. It is a mere furniture placement.

yes sannah i can today.i really can i couldnt see it yesterday for the life of me but i can today .but when confronted with it next session because i know i will be what then.when i loose all my words ?what then?

something to work on with your therapist You are getting there, I think. It takes time to unlearn our bad responses.

not so sure of that when i am confronted with it .and i wish i could just see it is a furniture placement but i don't. i am trying to figure out to see it as such.it is hard to do it feels strange i find myself trying to convince myself that sitting in the corner doesnt have to be such a bad thing.in order to avoid talking about the fact that for me it is a completely horrible thig

hankster it is cheesecake again with so many swirls that i cant keep it strait.although i think my T may be starting to think other options like more meds. last night my hubby thought i was ready to be commited

That is a ton of energy spent on trying not to talk about something when simply telling her could make a mutual solution possible.
I really do hope you can find a way to feel better.

stopdog always my compassionate(ya i said it and went there) voice of reason you are right it is an awful lot of energy spent and i am exhausted by it along with other things in my head.as i see it i have choices.
if the chair is there next week i can.....
1 quit walk out
2 learn to love the corner or pretend and ignore reality(what i kind of have been doing)not working so well for me
3 figure out a way to be able to communicate this to her and not get so upset that i loose my words(the one i want to choose)

Granite

I think others have said a lot of wise and helpful things
I dont' have much more to add-- except the comment about the empty basket by the chair.
I appreciated, when I was new to a certain T., having the chair far away and if I did need a kleenex I NEVER put them in the wastebasket- I put them in my pocket. I feel that putting them in someone elses basket would make me a burden to them, as then they would have to go empty it and then they'd be so angry with me..... maybe the client before you was like me??... not everyone uses the basket... she could have been setting that up that way for the previous client in hopes that that client would use the basket.

I so can relate to being triggered but I think, if you can, hold on to the ship's wheel and steer it through the storm as best you can-- I think you are doing an awesome job.

fins

Or you can move the chair. A behavior, no words.

I PM'ed you.

yes-- i think thats a good idea-- what Chopin said.

Granite -I am rooting for your third choice. I absolutely believe you can talk.

Now I am going to recover from the compassion thing.

lol thanks for being in my corner any suggestions you may come up with over the next week will be readily accepted