Welcome to couch # 18

I understand.

You don't say? I could have guessed that. I think people who had jacked around childhoods either becomes control freaks or total followers wandering....no in between.

I like to control my environment, not my mind and body. .... reason # 4562 to go to therapy.

Yes. I am not much into leading, but I am not a good follower either.

I am home for the day.. So excited to get in my sweat pants and shirt and crash for the afternoon!!

I was talking to my H about going to the dentist for my oral surgery.. I told him I would could be drugged the whole day and night before the surgery too then I would do it!! I know, impossible! Anways, sorry to hear about your tummy troubles after dentist.

Dude I totally like you!

Pocket riders muster in 30 minutes.

Ten-hut! I'm in.

Absotively!

ok i am in panic mode i have phone in hand almost and wanting to call these people back and cancel my appointment i need reason. i need calmness i need to not do this stupid thing

I'm in!!!

Granite put the phone away.... breathe....start typing..... hide the phone

i'm just scared to go and not talk this is all stupid. i need to get out of the house.she shouldnt quit on me because i cant talk she shouldnt .

What makes you think she is going to quit on you? I agree she should not. Canceling won't help as far as I can see. Could you focus on what you could say rather than what you cannot?

i was in the stupid shower when they called .they usually call later.i need to just figure out what i want to say and how to say it. god i feel like i am back to step one.she says i'm not stuck then what the hell is it.i don't want to be like this.

STOP yes i can. i think that is what i'm going to do .first get out of this house so i don't call and the just figure it out. i can talk just what do i want to say. i just feel stupid for all this .god it is just opening your mouth .say HELLO and then tell her what i have been thinking all week .it has been a lot.

Granite - I believe you can do it.

thanks stop i just need reason i really do i'm out of here so i get over this wanting to call it is getting to be a weekly thing . i feel good when i don't.

I should have never went today. I opened up now I have to sit with this for 2 weeks. What's the point of therapy. She can't "fix" me. I'm not deserving of it anyway. I hate myself. I want to be someone else.

Ok...Listen up couch peeps....YES YOU CAN!!!

Now get off your butts and go to t, dentist, work, school or just take a walk.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Off to nap...

((((Ttgb))))

Sorry it will be two weeks and that you are in distress. But being someone else would just mean problems you have not thought of. Everyone has problems. And having them fix you could be disastrous. They would do it wrong. Most of them can't fix themselves. One cannot turn oneself over to another and have anything good happen. The very idea sends chills up and down me. You are the best you you can be (corny but I actually believe it)
You are deserving of help. Everyone is. If it will help, I can repeat this to you every so often for the next two weeks.

Thanks Stopdog.

I don't understand my moods. I was fine earlier. I finished what I could do on my project. Boss told me good job, we'd work on it tomorrow. Now I feel so depressed I'm hiding in bed. Maybe I should ask H and his BFF for help. I actually want to go to sleep and not wake up all of a sudden. WTF???!!!

Oh God, what's wrong with me?

Chopin, Hunny. There is nothing "wrong" with you. It could be related to a variety of things. Can you try some opposite action techniques? Perhaps maybe go watch a skit of a comedian or just do a mind over matter type thing. Tell yourself you will be okay and that what you are feeling right now is okay.