Welcome to couch # 18

i get how you are feeling. we are here for as much as you need us. you can do this ttgb. here if you want to let us know what is going on ok.

nothing is wrong with you chopin you will be ok. maybe it would be a good idea to ask hubby for help. maybe get you out and do something to lift your mood.

i got out and went to craft store here in town and am over the pull to call.i try to think what am i getting out of calling to cancel my appointment .i know my T would call me and ask what is going on i would say nothing i just dont want to come ,sshe would say would you consiter showing up and we can talk about it and i would say yes because i could never tell her no .and i would have that on top of everything else that has made me not want to go so what is going on with that. just scared i guess

Thanks granite and TTGB. I don't want to get out of bed, but I'll try. I hate this; why does it have to blindside me? I hate depression. I hate it!

I am sorry everyone's hurting. That just sux. I am doing better, but I keep getting these pains of nostalgia. I took this young woman and her 3 year old out to have lunch on the beach. I keep getting emotional, like I'm scared and hurting and sentimental. Like I am clinging to meaningful moments but I want to scream. Inches from tears. I am not thinking seeing the Frau is such a great idea feeling like this...but I WILL go.

Who wants to place bets on me getting teary? ick. f. I do not want to cry dammitalltohell.

Here is a pic I found of the shoes T wore today. The ones she had on were brown, though.

310596_in_xl-e1348091832898.jpg

WIKI i think it is a good idea wiki maybe she can help you stabolize these swings and crying .although i dont think crying is such a bad thing either. i think sometimes you need to feel these things. love ya .

just love love love them

wiki remember to look at her shoes ok.and you are allowed to have a dificult time also .just reminding you of that.

Wiki---it will be good to go. you can process it a little bit.

Chopin...can you plot this, like on a graph or something? See what you have eaten or what pills you took for 24 hours prior and where in your cycle you are? Sometimes a food reaction can hit you like this. (much like migraines). After a month or so you may see a similarity.

granite and ttgb...I yous guys.

Now where the hell is Lola hiding out? I am assuming she had a rough session?

gots to go.

later.

So if I don't have a session this week, I assume I need to email T and ask him what type of shoes he's wearing, right? Can you imagine?? He does know about the board.

Actually he always wears the same shoes. Maybe I should try to go find a picture of them. It sounds like a good afternoon project.

I love a good graph. Part of my previous position was behavior analysis complete with antecedent conditions. Thanks for the suggestion.

No, pbutton.. you must call your T and ask him what shoes he is wearing then promptly hang up on him. hehehehe..

I am sorry people are hurting today.. I want to wrap my arms around all of you.

i bet you would be questioned about why you need to know what shoes he is wearing in your next session

this could be the beginning of a new trend lol no more drunk texting now it is prank calling T lol it could work if they have no coller ID

My T has lots of shoes and boots and style all her own!

My T was wearing leather loafers, slip on... old, but you can tell they weren't cheap.

Are you ok, I'm here to talk if you want to talk, PM me

You can add intimacy as another word I hate

I'm sorry everybody seems to have had hard sessions today. I'm sorry I can't be very supportive, but I do keep you all in my thoughts.

I had a bad session. Not terrible, but it made me feel bad about myself. I like this T, and I trust him, and today he told me that he's not going to fire me (though I'm not sure he understood what I was actually worried about - he talked about the county medical system which finances my therapy, and how he doesn't have to stop after any particular number of sessions, and how he is willing to see me for several years if that's what it takes... but I was worried about him firing me because of my behaviour, not because of financial matters. Though it was very reassuring to hear that.) I just feel more and more shaken up, and more and more broken. I'm not sure I will be able to handle the pain that comes from confronting the issues that come up. And I'm starting to feel the language desert me. I just don't know if I will be able to do this. And I am still not convinced that he won't desert me. And I am worried that he doesn't trust that I'm telling him the truth. Which I am. Which is hard for me to do.

Damn. It.

I talk, laugh and cry in my sleep. the other night my daughter told me I was talking to my grandson and granddaughter in my sleep. She said it was very sweet.

My T's voice calms me down as well. She asked me why it calms me down and I couldn't tell her why- it just does! Guess I'm a dumb *** as well!

I HATE feeling out of control which is one reason why I fought meds for so oong, but the dpression and anxiety got so very bad that I couldn't resist it any more and I tried it. It has worked wonders for me and has actually made me feel more in control than out of control.