Couch 25

Some people with BPD also have black and white thinking. Meaning its either one extreme or the other. Its very hard to find middle ground.

I wanna go home.

Sila..can I just ask.. Did you HAVE to go on this trip? I'm just asking because you were dreading it before you went, and dreaded the whole time being there. I'm just wondering if there was an option for you to go or not. I'm sorry you had such a hard time.

I kinda did have to go. It was either go and just deal with it, or be home and be constantly worried about my bf, the drive, how his car makes it, if he speeds, etc. And then my mom had her new 'boyfriend' over there and i don't do well around new people at all- especially men, and especially the people my mom seems to like. And I think being around my mom and the new guy would be even worse than being here. Nothing 'bad' happened here (I managed to avoid anything that could've happened by leaving every night to go out and do things like black friday shopping or going to a friend's house), I'm just not comfortable and I'm homesick and tired.

edit: Also, it's easier to go than to try and deal with the "Why didn't Sila come with you? Does she not like us? Why isn't she comfortable?" barrage of questions that I can't answer.

Not sure what to write now that i have read the last few entries. Perhaps i had nothing to say after all.

that is a perfect example and OMG to funny that your mom did the same thing lol

what up sweety

Bmee2...whats up? You can say whats on your mind..this is the "Anything" thread.

BDP behaviour or interaction is quite easy to regonise in two ( what used to be great threads) on this forum now pretty much hijacked...Sigh

I know ive been MIA for a bit, in a bad place but ive been lurking and Although I dont have BPD, I do have some behaviors that mirror it sometimes. Some insight from my side of the coin , is that it is a very scary place to be when you cant trust your own feelings or perceptions of situations as the truth or real. It just pours fuel on the fire, adding to the craziness.

Yes. This is something that the friend that I talked about in my example also struggles with. But for me, I got to the point (at least with her) where I just wont engage the behavior anymore (again, at least with her) because for years I did not nothing but feed into it with her to try to make her feel better and it just fueled her to do it even more looking for that validation from me, so I stopped.

this is very well said lola . it can be very scarey and crazy making

But at least we are all here, and all in therapy and getting help. Who knows, some of us are not BPD, but it does not mean that we still wont be in therapy when we are in our 80's. I mean, I hope I'm not..anyway..lol...

Completely off topic!

I made chili that did not come out tasting like chili, but came out tasting like stewed tomato's. lol. Does anyone know how I can get it tasting like chili? lol

What'd you put in it already?

i hope what i am saying doesnt cause anyone to shy away from me or anything, but i was diagnosed with BPD at a young age . my T now seriously questions this because of my age at diagnosis and what she sees. but trust me when i say i havent shown her much in the way i think. lol. but for me my hugest struggle is not trusting how i see and percieve others . i often see others as a threat and mean and hating me. and even harder is the willingness to be open and trust that others may see things differently and can be trusted to help you see things differntly. that it isnt always about me. believe it or not it is the people here who help me the most and who i also learn the most from here. i have said this privately to some but i guess it is ok to say here. i find the people here so helpfull in so many ways in learning how to deal with others in situations . here i can make misteaks and you guys have always been so forgiving . like when i say you all hate me . and you come back with no we dont .i was busy so i didn;t respond but i can noe whats up, and things like that .i learn how to interact with others .and how to be ok if someone else is mad at me .i have found it so enlightning and helpful. something i have not been able to learn fom someplace else do to my inability to talk to others often in real life.. just saying i have learned much from all of you and hope i will continue to do so. i try to get something out of every interaction or lack of. but mostly i have learned to be willing to listen and tell myself maybe just maybe there is something to what has been said and to take a moment before i start clicking the keys. now if i can do this in real life lol. i LOVE YOU ALL

Chili powder, ground cumin, white onion, green pepper, can of crushed tomatoes, ground pepper, ground turkey breast, water, paprika.

also off topic i made the best turkey stew with the leftovers yum yum and soo am off to shop for a couch fun fun

i have never ever made chilli

Granite..you are also very insightful and give a lot of great advice here to people. I see that when I lurk the other threads. You are one of those that create a positive presence here, and for that I am grateful you are here.

To fix chili - I would try to add some more chili powder, a can or two of red or black beans, garlic, maybe some ancho chili powder or canned chilis, some oregano, more cumin, a thing of salsa (but if it too tomato-y then maybe not), tomatillos/sauce etc.

What no garlic?? Maybe your spices are old or maybe it just needs to sit a day. Lola glad to hear from you I thought you were in that huge foggy smashup. I washed my kitchen floor finally - t will be so proud.

Yes - I read about that texas smash up car jam and hoped LC or her family was not in it also

Always wanted to make my own chili but haven't done it yet. I might try this winter.

I too understand how some of the posts can be triggering.... and sometimes exhausting... but there have been times when I have posted on PC some of my darkest moments because sometimes this is the only place I can get support or have people who would understand... and I post the "I feel invisible"... "I'm a horrible person"... and I truly feel that way at the time... sometimes I fall in the deep pit of believing all the junk that must have been true in order for my FOO to have treated me that way. (my childhood thinking I did to make sense of a senseless situation.)

So sometimes when I read responses of other people saying the similar things and then being told they are manipulative... it feels unsafe for me to reach out for support here when I do fall into that dark pit...