Couch 25

feel free to pm me also MUE if you want . i also tend to pm people i trust

MUE, I don't have any ill feelings towards you. I just hate conflict. Sometimes when I read threads like the one about the T regrets... I think it is a place to be able to put my feelings out there. I don't really think its a place for people to comment about them because they are feelings...

So when someone commented on it...I thought ughh.. and I just let it go...

When you don't let it go (irregardless of whether you are right or not), your comments get the same people involved all riled up. And that is what I meant when I said somethings we bring on ourselves. Sometimes its best to know when we can't handle a thread or certain posters and just leave. I will take my own advice and do the same in the future.

I think it tends to wax and wane. Right now, to me, it seems a lot of people are especially sensitive and others are quick to want to set absolutes and still others who judge those who are different or who offer different approaches in how they do things. Just my sense of it, I could be wrong. Holiday times seem rough for a lot of people whether it comes out directly or not. I think when one is here a lot, then the same patterns and questions keep presenting themselves and it is easy to get frustrated or impatient. I try to avoid the threads/posters that I feel that way about - it is me and my reaction - I try to realize everyone is doing the best they can. Some people I naturally like better than others. For example, I don't mind conflict, but I hate it when people try to tell others what they should or need to be doing. Other people don't mind what I mind (although they should - haha).(I am kidding). Also sometimes I simply do not know what to say to a poster - even one I like or have an affinity for. So I refrain because I don't want to say something wrong or inane.

I am leaving for church. Hope everyone has a good day.

Wiki I hope they have some good tea for you.

Good morning! Lake effect snow warning in our area... Winter is back!

Mue, I would listen if you wanna PM. I'm not always great at advice or even get it right..but I'm here for you.

Hi Healed.

Anyway. Just got back from the supermarket. Making two meals today for the week. Chicken Noodle Soup for H and Chili for me. I don't like Chicken noodle soup so that would be all for H. I do like Chili though

Thanks, everyone! I will certainly consider the idea of sending a PM to a group of people for feedback. Thanks!

Readytostop - I wasn't upset at all by your comment. I am well aware of the risks involved in responding to certain posts. It has been my work to avoid getting involved in pissing matches with certain people on PC, which many here are well aware of. My comment on the couch was about me veering off course. I gotta say, I'm kinda proud of the fact that I didn't get all worked up or retaliate or get involved in a string of heated dialogue. Go me! I still have more work to do (like, not reading those posts or posting responses at all), but this is progress for me.

There are a lot of young people here at PC that I feel could get some value out of certain feedback...it's just too bad that the environment isn't ready to receive it.

And, there are a lot of things that I'd like to get feedback on as well....and the environment is not safe for me, because of where I am in my journey.

I am currently in the nursery at church... 3 3yr olds.. Lesson lasted hog about 2 mind and now try are happily playing... Looks like I will be hanging out here for a bit. These kids are so well behaved!!

Artemis within does dreams with her T a lot. She seems pretty nice too, so maybe you could poke her.

s for anyone who wants 'em. It's cold here. 63 F. My hands are cold, my feet are cold because my socks fell off in the middle of the night. I wanna go home already but i dunno when we can leave since it looks like everyone at the house is gone. O.o;

mixedup_emotions, you are not alone in feeling this way... i tend to feel invisible when i post.

Morning all.
Wiki - I hope they got you some amazing tea.
Sila - Hope your wrist is feeling better.
Everyone else I hope you have a great Sunday.
Gotta go to my mom's for lunch. Then I think I am going to take a brisk walk, tidy the house and make some meals for the week.

sconnie: thankies, yeah its a bit better today~

For those of you who feel unsafe about posting - do you mind explaining more about what makes it unsafe and what would make it feel safe? I truly want to know. I like reading about what others do and also saying how I do things, even though I am usually way in the minority about approaches in general. So I am curious about how others approach things.

I am triggered by certain behaviors which cause me to feel guarded and cautious....which then leaves me less willing to post about my own journey, as it doesn't feel like a safe environment to do so. Like, bleeding in a pool of sharks.

i would love if people who dont feel safe any more could say what we could do to make things feel safe again also.

I am highly triggered by BPD-type behavior.

I am now compensating for this by blocking people that are not educational or recreational for me to read. It's making the board a bit dull right now since the behavior seems rampant.

i hate therapy. it's so frigging confusing!

Anything in particular? Or just in general? Personally, I wish it didn't feel like a bunch of random talking. I do see that I've changed, but I have no idea wtf is going on in any given session.

I am not certain I know what bpd-type behavior entails here.

Guess I accidentally lied when I said my wrist felt better. It felt better- until I decided to try and hold a full coffee cup with it. Or hold a plate. Blah. I'll just put my wrist brace on when I get home.. Probably sprained it a bit but that's kinda normal for me by now.

Leaving sometime today, can't wait to get home. I miss my dogs and my bed.

Also, I'm with stopdog- what's BPD - type behavior mean?

BPD-type behavior (in my mind, which is a scary place to be ) is when someone reacts like you're angry with them, have picked a fight with them, are working against them, & it's generally out of the blue. Things like "no one on this board emotionally supports me", or long rants and raves about hating oneself, and especially the subtle manipulation. Having my mother and her brother (my CSA perp) both act like this has probably set my personal bar WAY too high and made me sensitive in cases where the situation may not exactly be the way I am experiencing it.

But, I don't have this reaction to everyone with BPD. I'm not trying to insult anyone with the diganosis. It's not the people, it's certain behaviors that I am unwilling to tolerate. No need to subject myself to any of this added annoyance in my free time. There's an ignore function for a reason.

Ah yeah, I can understand that. I tend to avoid threads/posts like that as best I can. I just don't have the energy to try and convince someone the opposite of what they're saying, especially if they may be subconsciously doing it for a reason and not just venting off steam.

Well Explained PButton. For example: I have a friend who has a diagnosis of BPD. I guess it was a month or so ago, I decided to deactivate my FaceBook. It did not have anything to do with anyone or any particular thing. I simply did not want it anymore. So when my friend saw that it was deactivated. She sent me a text that said "I tried to write you on FB but saw you are no longer there. Why are trying to get away from me and why do you hate me?" It really had nothing to do with her, but she made it about her. I have a very low tolerance for that and because of it, I would not give into her and tell her I don't hate her. I just said "It's not about you. See you later. I have to go now"

That is a PERFECT example because my mom also did the exact same thing when I shut down my FB.