Couch number 33!!!!!

No, t and I just talked today about whether or not we wear socks in bed! My feet are freezing but I can't stand to have sox on between the sheets, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. But I'm getting my memory back pretty good for sessions.

i have a personal journal noone sees and a T journal that i write stuff in i would love to share with T. i have shown her the drawings in it but have never let her read anything i write

One day t and I discussed chickpea recipes for a short time. Sometimes its nice to have a non-therapy focused moment.

I journal after almost every session, but I would never show it to T. Sometimes as I journal, I realize something I need to talk to him about, but I'll just bring it up verbally.

Good night couch. Time for some reading and t journaling and sleeping.

I do my best to say things out loud now too, but sometimes I forget important things and I find I can really explain something without forgetting any important details when it's all written down.

I used to journal and then give my T copies of the journal pages in our session and he would look at them over the following week and then bring up the following session. This didn't work well due to the time lag. Then I we tried having me email him the journal a day before my session, but it was too much for him to read at once. Now I essentially journal in regular emails to T most days. It took a while to get into a groove but seems to be working out well for us this way.

Hey couch peeps....

Group T went surprisingly well, in the sense that I was engaged and involved. How bout them apples? I ended up leaving feeling very sad, though, due to the topic that was discussed and how it affected me - the idea of never being open to falling in love again. A painful realization.

On the upside, I met with my comedy team afterwards which was fun. After some work, we all played a game which was super fun!

I have SUCH a packed schedule the next couple days and just found out that another uncle passed away (my aunt's husband - we've never been close). The funeral is tomorrow at 11 AM, but I am not sure I can attend. I have my neurologist appt. at 10 AM which usually involves a significant wait - and the funeral is at least a half hour away from there, maybe longer. And then I have my unemployment hearing by phone at 1 PM. A funeral in between just doesn't sound feasible. *sigh*

I have an open mic tomorrow night....and then coffee plans with a friend Thursday AM...lunch plans with another friend...and then my T session at 2:15 PM...then getting my daughter from school, dropping her off and then going to another open mic Thursday night.

SO much planned!

Tonight, as I was driving to my comedy meeting, my daughter calls and tells me that she has a project due TOMORROW that involves baking. OMG. I was NOT a happy camper. So, I've been baking cookies for the last hour or so....

I am waiting for the cookies to cool so i can get my tired butt to bed.

Goodnight!

I think I'm gonna start journaling, except it'll be a combination journal/art journal. Nothing as beautiful as Granite's is (I can't draw at all) but something artsy only because I find it more attractive to me to journal that way.

I need to start because T really wants me to write this letter to my mother, but I'm having such a hard time doing it. I thought if I journaled it as memories more things might come to me. When I first started going to therapy, I did a journal like that and it interests me to look through it now and remember those feelings- as crazy as they were.

Wohooo school is closed today!!!! Thank you below zero wind chills!!

i think it would help a lot with your letter karebear.i would love to see the art alo. it is nice to see ypou here.i miss seeing you around hope you are able to stick around .

Morning all it will be 70 today and I have T at 1pm. Sorry for all you buried in snow.

Ohhh 70 degress, how I miss the warm!!!!

It was 70 here today and is supposed to be the same tomorrow. Summer though. I'll probably have to spend the rest of the week catching up on studies indoors anyway. I'm so far behind with it all that I don't know what to do. My brain has been too far gone to take anything in.

Hope T goes okay for you Lola.

horrible dreams again last night . anyone know about water dreams.it was horrible.i was in Martha's vineyard when a huge storm came over the island and all transportation off the island was shut down. it was so bad people were cough in the storm surges and my son was with me but didn't care about anything except his girlfriend and had huge attitude. i kept going between being in some sort of car violently being dragged out to sea to being trapped in a hotel that was flooding . it was so cold that the water would come surging through the land and cover most of the island and then instantly freeze into these large ice waves all around trapping me.when in the hotel i kept getting a call from a friend who came to the island with me who was in trouble and i could hardly understand what she was saying but knew she was going to drown. i was so terrified until i finely woke up. yuck i have been having the worst dreams lately

70, Lola !!!! Oh, its 12 out right now. I bet Sconnie has even colder temps. Guess I'm coming to texas.

i have T at 5 today kind of looking forward to it i think i want to talk about this artist trading card group i am going to .i am hoping she will be able to help me not turn it into a bad thing and freak out and mess it all up. i may already be starting to do this.

Yeah. it is -12 here with a wind chill of anywhere between -25 and -35... This cold weather is good for one thing, days off from school.

That doesn't sound like fun at all Granite. I sometimes have those types of water dreams too. I had the weirdest dreams last night. In one I bumped into T in a museum and we were both alone and we looked at a few things together before going separate ways...but the other dream was just...the oddest dream I've ever had. It was like I woke up but I knew I was still dreaming. I was terrified that it was going to be like sleep paralysis and weird stuff would happen in my room, like I wasn't either awake or asleep. Then I kept dreaming but I was aware of myself in the dream...and my body asleep in bed. When I moved my hands in the dream I could feel my actual fingers moving very slightly (positioned in a totally different place that they were in the dream). I was so aware of both at once.

Morning all...I won't be around much, another busy day. I actually have to see the icky pdoc this morning. Really freaked about that as he is in the same office as XT. I just need paperwork filled out, so I had to beg him to take me back just for a little bit. I am not buying any of his wares though.

Then I am grabbing my bead bag and heading for some crafting with a couple of women I know. (I sound like Granite). Not looking forward to that as my vision is still screwed up, but one young woman just got out of the hospital and is lonely so the rest of us are just trying to keep her mind busy. I am going to bring my paint, maybe I can do that.

I have the kid at 3 pm again today. She is really sick with pneumo, but she is a trooper, not whining at all about it. She just lays down and watches cartoons. She is very good about drinking my home-made juices and smoothies. Tonight I should attend a budget meeting for a DV program, but I handed off the budget to another cpa, so I may skip it.

I got a call from the Wildlife Center too...asking me if I wanted to put regular hands on hours in with the critters. Gawd yes. But I am not sure I have many more hours in the week, and with this move coming up I really need to back up not speed ahead. I am afraid I may have to decline.

I really hate being useless.

Granite..thats scary. Dreams can feel very very real. Maybe they will stop after you see today. I know you been wanting to see her. Hugs.

((granite)) we cross-posted. What a horrid dream!

that is creepy night.
i have never dreamed about my T but often wonder if i did would it be like having an extra session without having to pay or would i feel the need to go in on my next session and give her another $20 copay

Good luck with T sessions today...

wiki later...

You sound about the opposite of useless to me Wiki. You're doing a lot for other people at the moment. Horrible to feel that you want to be able to do more but can't though.