Couch 51 - They also serve

it makes bunches of sence to me ready.

Wow MUE! I don't know what to say. In a way it sounds like it was nice to have validation of your feelings and perceptions. It sounds like she really "trashed" him though and I am not sure if that is totally appropriate....I don't know. I bet you do have a lot to process.

Thanks, Murray.

It really was helpful for me to hear that I wasn't completely insane about it all. I really needed the validation that my experience was not just a figment of "me reliving my past" like my T said.

It does put me in a bit of a pickle because it also validates my truth about not being able to talk to him about certain issues because of how he reacts. That certainly can't be good in a client/T relationship. I need to figure out if this is an environment I can work with. Can I accept his limitations? Or, do I need to seek help elsewhere? I've invested 4 years with this T and I am attached to a certain degree.

I hate this.

MUE... I don't feel its totally appropriate to do this but I sort of compare what happened to you to watching In Treatment. When you watch that show you see both the T in the "room" and the T in real life? This is sort of what you have experienced but remember you heard the xgroupT's perspective based on her impression of her experiences and what she has heard from others, you have your own impression? Is this the only time you have run into this incident? Or have you run into this same issue over and over again?

From what you said of your past, it seems like you have had issues in past with not standing up for yourself... not being empowered... but haven't you come a long way with your T.... if he really didn't like women to be decisive and independent would he help you work to that end?

Not sure the other T was right by trashing your T.... maybe it would have been better if she listened more and had talked less so you could have made your own decision.

Thanks, RTS, for trying to help me put this in perspective.

This has happened several times over the years...and only twice it has happened to such an intense degree.

I don't believe that it's about T not wanting women to feel empowered in their lives - just not with him, if that makes sense. She shared with me one of her own experiences with him on a business level that matched my experience entirely on a process level.

As far as group T goes, she didn't encourage me one way or another. She said that there is a fine line between retraumatizing and getting over a hurdle, and it's ok for me to say that I've had enough. It may be time to go another route because this one isn't working for me.

But if I'm isolating myself and value some of the close relationships in group and are lacking that in real life - then take advantage of that aspect of group. I have the power to decide if I want to work with a particular person or on a particular issue (trauma). She even said that I could sit there and pick my nose if I wanted to. LOL. And if people are unhappy with that, then that's their stuff - and they can work on that. I just need to be able to handle them working on their stuff in my presence or as a result of me being there in whatever state I'm in.

I told her that it's hard for me to see my T being supportive of someone else lashing out at me, because that's the healthy thing for them to be doing in their stage of work - leaving me feeling abandoned. She understood that.

Oh, so much to process....

Hi couch peeps.
I was off the grid for the weekend. No internet and the cell phone was "roaming"... it was kind of nice. We were at a cabin "up north" (as we say around here). Nice and peaceful and quiet and relaxing.

Rough evening though. A friend passed away this morning and another friend called me at supper time to let me know. The friend that passed lives near where I work and when I heard sirens come near work and then stop, I knew something was wrong, but never expected she'd passed away.

Sorry I'm not around regularly anymore. The man takes up quite a bit of my time now... and I don't mind that all too much.

Sorting out the boundaries for our next social event last week, T says "What about a conversation?" I initially heard "What about a lapdance?"

Am I seriuosly the only one awake?

MUE - could you go to a group where your male therapist was not involved? I am glad the woman validated you on him. His responses to you would creep me out if someone was like that with me.

How is yelling important???

Sconnie, I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

Lol...the players not directly involved in a play have to yell which base to throw the ball to. It saves time and makes it more likely they will get an out or at least hold the runner up.

Thanks to all who offered to pocket ride. I'm extremely nervous. Two hours to go...

Oh, ok. Thanks! I don't actually know much about baseball - not a sport that's played much around here.

Yeah I didn't think about that when I posted it. It's such a big part of my life I forget it's not played everywhere. It made me laugh just because most of the yelling done at games is parents and coaches yelling at the umpires, which is what I think of when someone talks about yelling in baseball. There is a small amount of yelling at the games that is actually helpful

Ugh. I have spent the last couple of hours "sleep ruminating", if that's even a "thing". Like, eyes are closed and you kinda think you're sleeping but your mind just keeps replaying things over and over and over and you're kinda conscious through it all.

The muscle spasms in my shoulder basically made me get up and turn on the computer to try to figure out what the heck to do to make the spasms stop without having to take meds. Not many options out there to try at 2:30 AM. LOL.

SD - There are no groups at the facility that I go to that T is not involved in. But I can obviously look into other types of groups. My xgrpcoT mentioned something about a partial care program that she believes may benefit me, especially considering my current symptoms of PTSD. But, the place is about an hour away and it would be 3-5 days a week of intense treatment for several hours each day. It may be something to consider. I'm going to look into it.

Mastodon, I'd imagine you might be in session right now? I'm in your pocket and hoping the support is helping you!

Thank you, MUE - no, I'm about to catch the bus to town, and my session starts in about an hour. Thank you for thinking of me. It means a lot.

Good luck, I really hope it goes well, Mastodon.

(Still not used to calling you Mastodon, LOL)

Just thought I'd check in one more time before I head off to bed so I can pretend to sleep. Mastodon, I hope your session goes well. Mue, I hope get some sleep and things feel less stressful in the morning. Night all!

Just lying low for a bit.
Thanks for noticing!

I assume this is a custody battle?
Sadly, character assassination seems to be a standard technique.

Morning couch.

I'm up early because I have to be at C's by about 7:40am to wake him up, get him dressed, feed him breakfast, and take him to camp. Busy morning.

Then I will probably come home and try to clean (been trying for weeks and just haven't done it).

Had strange dreams last night. I don't remember much now other than they all took place in my childhood bedroom. Werid.

Well, I need to get ready to leave to go to C's. I'll pop back in later today.

I hope everyone has a decent day.

((( CE ))) - Nice to see you. Hope you're doing ok.

Mastodon, I hope your session went well. Thinking of you.

Good morning, couch peeps. What an awful night's sleep! I guess that's to be expected with all the crud going on right now. Gotta hop in the shower, get my daughter up for school and then head out to an assignment. Pretty significant pain day today. I'm hoping it won't get in the way of me being able to complete my assignment.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Ick...grave dream, all night long. I hate that sh it.

Mastodon...how'd it go?

MUE..that would be a deal-breaker for me.

Good luck to all the T peeps...Here's a question for you today:
Is your T dressed for Summer? Or still in spring? Maybe even Winter?