So many times we cannot say what we want to say to our therapists. We fear being judged or kicked out for being rude, ugly, or inappropriate! It might be easier to put it in writing. That is what this place is for. Use this to say what you really think and feel. Once you have written it out, you may find that it is something you can talk with your therapist afterall.

[CantExplain]

I'm afraid of you.

[nicoleb2]

Dear T,

I wish you would see how bad I am doing. I'm having suicidal thoughts, and I want you to notice, i want you to decide if i should go inpatient. I don't know anymore

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

Dear T,

I wish you would see how bad I am doing. I'm having suicidal thoughts, and I want you to notice, i want you to decide if i should go inpatient. I don't know anymore

I think your T really needs to hear this.

dear t - i didn't cry yesterday because of what i was feeling. i cried because inside me is still that little girl that knows having feelings gets her yelled at and ridiculed and she was expecting that naturally. she still doesn't know that you are not like them. i'll never be able to explain to you how profoundly healing it was for me when, through my tears, I said "now what?!" and you replied "we sit with our feelings." You gave me permission to have those feelings. And more than that, you showed RESPECT for those feelings. And you didn't try to dissect them or try to make me talk about them. You just made it ok for me to feel them. Have I told you lately that I love you? Me.

I am, it feels like, severely depressed. So what is new? Nothing. I can't get well because I make bad choices. I make bad choices because I'm stupid. You can't fix stupid.

[likelife]

I'm still hanging in there, T. You'd think I'd have gotten used to the confluence of the same issue in multiple spheres of my life, since it keeps happening over and over again. The universe likes to keep me on my toes.

I'm a little anxious about seeing you on Friday.

[precious things]

Is it you? Is it me? Oh hell, it's probably me.

[ECHOES]

Dear T,

I know it is talk therapy, but I can't talk about this so I wrote it down and will give it to you today. Somehow.

I have not been able to put this out there in 6 years but I need to. I don't know how I will be able to face the next session if you insist we talk about it.

But I trust you.

[MusicalRaven]

Dear T,

I was really afraid of when I told you that I sometimes think about not being here anymore. Your reaction was too much and I kinda just wanted you to listen to me and look like everything was okay. You reacted so intensely that all I wanted to do was change the subject and not talk about it anymore. It made me feel like you were going to make me do something I didn't want to do if I continued talking about it.

I know that I shouldn't be afraid of you but I am. I want to tell you but I don't' think I can anymore.

Sorry T.

Where did you go? Sometimes it's like you don't understand me at all.

[precious things]

It felt rushed and not authentic. Honestly, I was just happy you remembered my name. I don't know about this tough love approach. Everything in my life is tough and there isn't much love. Looks like the honeymoon phase is over and I need to decide if its worth proceeding. I wasted half a year on therapy that was destructive, and that I am still trying to get over. Why can't it just be easy and straightforward? I hate that you, a total stranger gets to breeze in and out of the office while I struggle to pull myself and my head in there. I would greatly appreciate a sign from the universe telling me if this is the right path to be on........I think it might be best to go at it alone. I don't think you'll ever get me.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Echoes when is your next appointment? I want to clear my calendar.

[Willowleaf]

Dear t
I don't want you to go away next week. I understand you need breaks but no amount of talking will make a difference. Sometimes I wonder if the talk about your breaks is for your benefit as it sure doesn't help me. I'm really scared

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

Echoes when is your next appointment? I want to clear my calendar.

I just got back from my appointment. And I left it with her.
I see her again Thursday

[refika]

Please don't be mad at me for not emailing/calling you Monday when I was having thoughts of SI and going through some tough times. How COULD I have contacted you when it was YOU who was the reason for my emotional breakdown and causing those thoughts.

I needed space and time...then today you kept wanting me to talk about why I was so angry and having those thoughts Monday. I kept telling you I couldn't talk about it, but you kept wanting me to. Please don't make me angry at you again and push me to tell you before I'm ready. I WILL tell you, I promise, but I need time to sort out my anger toward you.

Dear T,

Thank you for realizing I have lots of anger inside of me that we just haven't gotten to yet.

[ECHOES]

so worried about seeing you tomorrow.

[BonnieJean]

I'm sitting here wishing I'd borrowed the dog. And wishing I didn't need therapy. I feel so bad after it sometimes.

T

Thanks for noticing I'm struggling financially and not making a deal about it. Whatever you decide will be appreciated.

[photostotake]

Dear T,

I've made a last minute appt with you for tomorrow morning at 11. Please don't make feel like I've made a mistake. I plan on being completely honest with you as always, but I'm really scared to. I'm really afraid you may consider inpatient ED treatment after hearing what I have to tell you.

I should've just waited until our Monday appt and not taken this cancellation appt at the last minute. Feeling way too triggered and anxious right now.

[adel34]

Dear RC (the name for caseworker at the mental health center)
I don't think I want to or can tell you tomorrow at our meeting about the long-lasting effects of our conversation Friday. How you reacted and what you said about focusing more on getting coping skills rather than supportive touch has changed, at least intelectually, my perspective on touch in therapy. Over the past few days I've started to see your point, and how really focusing on learning to calm myself down and not relying on the therapist for comfort could be h helpful.
My emotions have yet to catch up to these insights. I feel like crying all the time thinking about the loss of something that was such a part of my therapy for over a year.
What did really hurt my feelings was when you talked about how I need to learn how to express my feelings but in a way that wasn't at the intensity that I was at at the time of our conversation, crying hard and not being able to stop. This hurt me because it reminded me of my parents saying I'm too intense/ my feelings aren't ok being expressed how I express them. Also, I'm not sure I agree with you. The last t I saw being an expressive arts therapist emphasized making all sorts of sounds, crying fully, yelling, stomping around ETC to help with expression of feelings. Intensity wasn't a problem for her. She actually felt it was a good thing to really help get the emotions out of just being held in my body. So I don't know. Your comment just hurt. I'm gonna talk about some of this though in emotions group tomorrow, and I'm glad it's being lead by two interns and not staff.
Hopefully we can have a nice normal unemotional meeting tomorrow.

[Nelliecat]

Stupid stupid stupid therapy

[DelusionsDaily]

Dear T, I have a poem that expresses everything I'm feeling/going through but I don't know if I can share that with you. It'll be really hard if I do.

[athena.agathon]

1) I just cancelled (via email, without explaining why) because of a work-related conflict after I already re-scheduled once because of another work-related conflict. But, also, I am starting to get those "you-don't-like-me-I-am-unlikeable-anyway" feelings and bolting feels like the thing to do.

2) I did not tell you again that I was feeling suicidal or that I hurt myself over the weekend. I never tell you (unless you ask). Am I supposed to?