Couch 55...And on it goes....

Hi couch peeps....Sorry that so many of us are down in the dumps at the moment. I'm feeling pretty cruddy as well, emotionally and physically.

While feeling so down, I ended up reaching out to an old co-worker, and we're going to meet up at the library tomorrow for their used book sale and then go to a diner for lunch. T would be pleased that I'm "taking action in spite of how I'm feeling".

Tomorrow marks the 2nd week of not seeing T.....One week to go, if I make it to my next session.

Goodnight, couch peeps!

I recently realized I dread attending most funerals less than I dread attending most weddings. The therapist did not seem surprised.

morning peeps i hope people have a better day today

Good morning.

Stopdog, that actually makes sense to me. At a funeral, you offer condolences and leave, at a wedding you have to hang out, socialize, be overpowered by loud music and act happy. A funeral should be much easier, except for the whole dead person thing (that does tend to put a damper on the fun).

I have a "chill" day today. I have some work to do, but not a ton. I have to revise a budget to make room for a new program. People are not going to be happy when I have to siphon the funding off of other programs. Sigh. I wish the grant writers would get with the program on this one. Why do people think accountants can stretch money?

Congrats on the house CE.
Ready...moving things from the TO DO list to the DONE list can be really rewarding. I hope you take the time to look at what you've done rather than what you need to do.
MKAC...that sounds excruciating. Almost like you are dealing with a teen girl going thru puberty. I hope you and H can navigate your way thru this.
BPA...sorry your in such a rough spot.

Murray, MUE, Granite, Ike, Hankstah, Critterlady, Healed and anyone I've missed!

Good morning! My friend just picked up my daughter to bring her to VBS, so son and I are hanging out until I have to go pick them up. I should conquer my messy house.

morning wiki

Thunderbolts and lightning
very very frightening

Both dogs just jumped on my lap at the sound of a loud clap of thunder. LOL.
I hope we lose power, then I'll have a reason not to work.

Morning couch. Wow I don't log on for a day and a half and the couch adds 10 pages. I skimmed the posts to try to catch up on what was/is going on, but I'm sure I missed a lot by doing this.

I wazs supposed to work today, but the senior place called yesterday afternoon and asked if I could work Saturday instead of today. No biggie...this is just one of those jobs you have to be flexible with. Then I got another call from them yesterday evening asking if I could work Monday instead of Sunday. Wow...2 changes in less than 24 hours. :-P So now...since I am working Saturday, it looks like my cleaning day will have to be Sunday. Luckily it worked out where I had a weekend day to clean. Maybe karma (not sure if that is the right thing to say) helped me by allowing me to not have to work all weekend.

T went well yesteray...we talked about the copy of my journal that I left with T at the last appointment. She said it sounded like I got angry a few times. I agreed. She then proceeded to say that she was happy I did. What's with T and liking it when we gat angry? I probably should have asked...but I was afraid I probably didn't want to know the explaination. We also talked about how much I was working (I had to reschedule my Monday appointment to yesterday since I was asked to work on Monday). T thought it was good that I was working so much, as it gave me less time to dwell on things that make me anxious and helps me feel less stressed than i did last summer with having no job. Also talked about the prospective of applying to teaching jobs that are posted on the school board website. She was disappointed that there were a few that I qualified for that I was not applying for. I tried to explain that they were at the opposite end of the county (I live in the south end...they are in the north end..about 45-50 miles away). She said it might be worth it if it meant having a teaching job. But really I would have to use too much gas and be on the road for an hour+ one way...that's not something I am willing to subject myself to. I would rather stay an assstant and have a 3 mile/7 minute drive than be on the road for 2+ hours a day. T tried to convince me that I should apply for those positions, but I just told her we should agree to disagree. I have applied to jobs that are 25-30 miles away as I would be willing to make that drive, but none of them have called me for interviews anyways...so I would rather stay local (20-30 miute drives). There are 20+ schools within that area, so I still have a wide selection. T just didn't understand my reasoning. Oh well.

In other news...the emotional/behavioral (EBD) position at my current school posted...so I applied. A special education math also posted. I applied for it as well. The EBD one would require I teach out-of-field and have to obtain more certifications. I have all the certifications for the math one. I emailed my principal asking if he needed an updated resume as a requirement from the school board. He said he didn't since he already knew me and my credentials. He also said that once the ad "expires" (they are posted for 5 days in the summer), he and the assistant principals will review all the applicants and give me a call. Now just to keep my fingers crossed that I can maybe have one of those positions. I would love to stay at my current school since I already know most of the people there.

Well...I think I have blabbed enough, so I shall end here.

I hope everyone has a good day.

Thanks. For me I think it is that I am philosophically opposed to marriage but not funerals. I do not think death is the worst thing that can happen to a person. I don't think marriage is the worst thing either, just that it is none of my business nor do I care whether two people are married or not.
I understand the desire to grieve and to want/need support in that grief and how it can be communal situation. And although I understand some of the historical purposes for celebrating a marriage I think they no longer apply and I find I disagree with the idea of it being a reason for communal celebration. I understand why someone might want others to join in grieving their loss. I have no idea why anyone cares one way or the other about the fact two people got married, even when I like the people getting married, their status as becoming married as something to celebrate is perplexing to me.

I guess it's just having a big occasion. It used to be a once in a lifetime party, but marriage has little value anymore. I would rather celebrate someone while they are still alive, even though I really don't like weddings much myself. I am sure I will enjoy my daughter's though.

Morning, couch peeps.

For someone who lives a pretty isolated life, I can't believe that I have two different sets of lunch plans for today - one I completely forgot about.

Hopefully, I'll be able to enjoy the day. My daughter comes home later this afternoon. I miss her.

Thanks Wiki...

I made a list of things that I need to do... but I'm not redoing the list so I will atleast still see the "crossed off" items... I am not adding to the list either at least not physically writing them down but they will probably start floating around up there...

Funny now that I'm not in T... I had a major epiphany about what my core issue is or at least a way to describe it ... a name to give it... and I found a T who works specifically with this issue except he's in Tennessee and I'm not.

perhaps the guy in Tenn would know of someone in your area. Or video appointments?

Actually I did think about calling him or emailing him to find out if he knew anyone up here or if he could help me know what questions to ask to know if a T in this area would know how to work with someone with this issue... in other words if there is common psych lingo I should use when I describe this issue...

because maybe at some point (don't say I told you so Wiki) when I'm through this short term financial crisis I may find someone through my insurance so I wouldn't have to pay so much...

MKAC... what are you up to today?

(((Ready))) I would never say that. But it does sound hopeful? Maybe?

SD.... maybe I'm just silly... but I think weddings are alot of fun... you get to join in and celebrate that someone you know has found someone to love who loves them too and who are willing to make a committment to each other...

I don't find the title of marriage or wedding or whatever to be the important part to celebrate..

I wouldn't be able to go see either of my prior Ts if I go through insurance because I have no out of network benefits and they don't accept insurance.

It would so totally depend on what they put as diagnosis code... anxiety.. adjustment disorder is fine... anything more and I won't do it...

but I have a few months to think about it.

guess ill disappear for today .have a good day peeps

Hi Granite... I didn't know you were here. Its so hard to know who is on because most of your "little peoples" under you avatars are always red. Mine is green when I'm logged on...

RTS - I don't think you are silly, and I am definitely in the minority. I think what you describe is way too personal to involve others, and I do not think personal commitment should involve a public act. I think most wedding vows, particularly when written by each person, are simply too personal for me to want to hear. It is none of my business. And I don't understand why someone would want me to hear them say it to their partner. And most vows are just awful for me to endure listening to, both in sentiment and in delivery.

I do not like weddings. First marriage we eloped to Vegas. Even the little ceremony was "too much" for me, although I did like the shopping aspect of it.

Second marriage we went to the courthouse. The witnesses were not known to us. I was good with that.

Apparently this is all tragically disappointing to my dad. Well, parts of my childhood were tragically disappointing to me, so I guess we're even, Dad.

(((chickie))) have a good day!

Still waiting to see if we loose power. I hate starting on something if I am going to have to stop mid stream. It's still T & L here, pretty loud storm passing thru. Our power goes out quite often in this area, so I am not sure whether to start working or not. Sigh.

Wikid - I have family up in your area (not cape but boston suburbs) and they all have gotten generators because of how frequently the electricity goes out for long periods of time. It seems that my southern family became quite unsettled at spending 15 days in a new england winter without electricity.