Couch 55...And on it goes....

Could you talk to your T about this? Ask for strategies to help you remember what is said in the sessions? Not sure I like the sound of shutting down as a preparation for a T break

oh, and granite - I forgot to say - paper marbling seems like a super neat thing. So beautiful.

((( Hugs ))) to my friends who are struggling at the moment.

I find that depending on where I am at the moment, the idea of "others have it worse, be grateful for what I have" can be helpful or hurtful. It can be valuable to hold onto the good things that we know we have which can sometimes help us put things in perspective. Other times, it works to invalidate our feelings and act as a way to not give us permission to feel what we feel.

I just received a notice in the mail saying that if my unemployment benefits are not exhausted by the 13th, then my benefits end with this tier. If my benefits end prior to the 13th, then I am eligible for one more extension of 10 weeks.

So...because I've been working part time, I will have maybe $100 left of benefits by the time the 13th comes around - which means it ends for me.

But if I didn't work at all, then I would be eligible for another 10 weeks of unemployment.

Does anyone else see how messed up that sounds? A person who is trying to work gets screwed.

Its a full house of boys between my own and those I'm babysitting... we have a 2 year old, 8, 10, 12 and 16 year old... here... thank goodness for the WII and the Playstation...

Its so loud.... but they are having fun...

Wow MUE it sounds so confusing. My H was on unemployment for a while in 2009 when he was laid off. First he had State unemployment then when that ran out he received federal unemployment but eventually he decided to take a new job with a $15K pay cut in order to get back to work... It was a big hit to us but the loss of $15K was better than his loss of self esteem from not working... Even after 4 years...the market hasn't recovered any for jobs in his field because other companies are now laying off so its kept more applicants than jobs which people will work at for less money...

i need to get this out of my head .i watched the first episode of that dont call me crazy and looked up the 2ed but have not watched it. i see so many people saying how awsome it was how they wish they had that help etc.. i just wonder if there is anyone who has had the same experiances i have had with state hospitals and treatment programs. i was in state hospitals and hospitals for about 4 years .not 3 to 6 months and after that residential treatment for 5 years.i was sedated and a lot of the time was unable to function when in the hospital. tied down and restrained .not allowed to get off my bed when there was not anyone who had the time to deal with me.or left in a room. having to go to the bathroom infront of people .so humiliating ,yet i was so messed up i did not even give a crap at the time. it was not help it was maitenance. just keeping me from hurting myself .nothing more .keeping me alive and stable.anyway.it was not all roses and suport for me .i hate remembering all that stuff.i cant get it out of my head . off my soapbox for now. i am sure that some people wouldnt mind that but for me it was hell .everything internal and external

this is one of the hospitals i was in .it was in better shape but you can see the big halls we were kept in .this was taken just before it was torn down. i can still see that blue tile and yelow tile

I avoided doing the accounts for most of my life. But once I took over, I discovered I was good at it. My wife is still amazed.

You had an abominable childhood. That can set your mood for life, if you let it.

That's a valuable insight.

It's sad to see any building in such a state.

i cant feel bad that they knocked that horrible place down

((( granite )))

I did not have any of those awful experiences, granite. And I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you.

I did do an interpreting assignment for a woman who was hospitalized for having fallen. She was mentally unstable as well, and I witnessed some things that tore me up inside. I understood why they needed to restrain her as she was doing things that were harmful to herself. In moments of clarity, though, you could see her despair. She needed more help than this hospital was able to give her, so she was being transferred. I hated that there was nothing more I could do for her.

the patients were kept in those huge rooms you see and the small rooms in the halls were isolation rooms .i so remember those big windows. and being in those isolation rooms .and the big rooms

Granite, I hope you know that you are entitled to your feelings no matter what your home circumstances are and you don't need to feel bad about feeling bad, know what I mean?

I'm having a tough day. It started out nice, with brunch with a good friend, but then I found out that another good friend's mother went into hospice today, with only a few days left. It brought me right back to the day my mom entered hospice 14 months ago. Sobbing ensued. Now I have a headache. And T is going to give me s*** about not calling him.

Evening couch.

I was bad and slept in today and did not clean like I should have. Hopefully I will be able to get it done tomorrow after work.

Sorry to everyone who is struggling and having a hard time. I hope things brighten up for you.

Well...I just wanted to check in. I'll pop in tomorrow before I head out to the senior place.

I hope everyone has a good night.

Granite I agree with CE.... I am sorry that you endured what you did.
I am NOT doing well this evening, the youngest came home and I realized just how finacially hard college has been on her and she is never one to mention anything. So instead of supplementing W income, I am going to pay the youngest rent for her senior year of college, as it's the least I can do. Took her shopping for clothes today too as she needed some and being that she is fluffy like me I know how hard it is to shop from an emotional stand point let alone finacially. I am begining to doubt my ability to do this "seperation" thing and I cant stop crying, I hate the emotions that come with the monthly visit. I cant believe my life got to this point and I'm afraid.

((Lola))

There's one good thing coming out of this.

You were afraid W's family would turn away from you when you separated and that has NOT happened. They love you just as much as before. It's YOUR family too. I'm really happy about that.

Granite: HOw long ago were you in these hospitals? I would stay away from those documentaries if they trigger you, and they seem to.

Also I agree with everyone else: you are 1000% entitled to feel like S**t even if your life is going good right now. Your terrible, awful, horrible, no-good, very bad childhood is catching up to you. It may seem impossible to stop feeling the way you do, but keep at it!! I've seen tremendous progress and know you can do it.

One thing I always think about is how you lived through the worst. You survived it the best you could. The worst is over. Now it is re-playing itself in your head, but that is fixable.

lola you are a very strong woman and i know you will be able to do this. it may not be all roses and fun but i know you will be able to do it . i think helping out your youngest instead of suplimenting your W is a great idea. oh oh oh and did i say you are awsome. cloths shopping sucks.

that particular hospital i was 19 .quite a while ago. you bet i am staying away from that don't call me crazt thing .i have yet to watch the second one.probibly wont.i also wanted to share some of the hospital i was in so people could see whare i was.it was in better shape then. this video was done by someone who broke in before they knocked most of it down.

thanks for what you said about living through the worst. sometimes i do need to be reminded of that .like that was then and this is now. i really am trying to deal in these terms but it just seems so hard right now

Good morning...
Hey chickie...don't watch those videos. It's good that things are run differently now than they were back then...but you don't need to be reminded of how hard it was. Sorry you went thru that hell.

Lola...I think supporting the youngest will be a much better investment for you. I know you are scared, but we are all here to support you. You can do it!

Need to get ready for this baby shower. I love my nephew, but I really don't want to go. I don't want to "dress up". I don't want to see my sisters. I don't want to drive there. I don't want to sit with my mother. I have a SIL coming from CT, with a niece, I'd like to see her. When did I become so UNSOCIAL? Is it weird that I am way closer to my nieces and nephews than to my siblings?

have a good day wiki. don't let the mother get under your skin. hang with your niece and nephew