Couch 56...Getting Back to our roots

LOL, a pitchfork! Awesome.

I had a long email from a friend who's been travelling abroad and pretty much incommunicado for a few weeks. Funny how a thing like that can make life easier to bear.
[edited to add: er, a thing like receiving the email, not a thing like being incommunicado. I'm losing my English. ]

Actually, I guess a mastodon would not need a pitchfork to strike awe in the hearts of evildoers.

Wow, it just dawned on me that last week, I was screwed over cuz T gave away my session time to someone else - after not having a session for 3 weeks cuz he was on vacation. Now, my neurologist screws me over.

I feel so let down.

I have a Jewish vegan co-volunteer, who made me sweet potato knishes. I was all excited to be finally heating one up for lunch, only to bite into this disgusting sweet mush. ICK. Why oh why do people feel the need to add sugar to sweet potatoes? Why? I don't get it. If it ain't a desert, it doesn't need sugar...IMO. So dejected.

MUE, your providers are idiots. Do you have an appointment card with the date on it? I hope he fits you in quickly. Sorry it's so sucky, but honestly, it is not because you are yucky or bad or any of those things. It does not mean you are less important than anyone else. It simply means they screwed up. Emphasis on THEY.

Gads...this thing is inedible. Dang, now what can I eat for lunch? Kale Krunch!!!

I am doing a fish fry for the family tonight. H brought home some really fresh haddock fillets yesterday. A little beer batter, some home-made chips, roasted cob corn that I got at the organic farm....

Thanks, wiki. It's so hard to take that in, because it just stirs up all of those old feelings of being unimportant, uncared for, insignificant.

And it just hit me....I didn't even go home. I am AT MY MOM's HOUSE! WTF???? What on earth would compel me to come back HERE? The place that drove me to craziness just the other day.

Something must be seriously wrong with me.

Wiki.... the fish fry sounds great...

MUE...I'm sorry about the Neuro office mess up..... Oh...maybe I missed it but what did the body work lady say when you called her back?

I don't seem to be able to focus on anything today. I think the lack of sleep is causing problems.... the only thing I seem to be able to think about today is all the contradictory statements my xT has said to me..... making my mind go round and round...

ok so i just found out we may not close on the 31st as planned and that leaves me and W BROKE ... actually in the negative type broke....

I am freaking out....FREAKING OUT...... I just called and cussed out my agent so she could pass it on to the other agent.... omg.... omg... omg.....

Have the buyers backed out, or is the closing rescheduled? Can you get a personal loan to cover your (not w's) expenses until you close?

(((( Lola )))))

Wow, that certainly would trigger some intense panic! Take some deep breaths. I am hoping things will work out.

RTS - I haven't called the body work woman back yet. The person in group T that recommended her to T, who then recommended her to me - said that it was Reiki. I'm not sure I want to spend $40/week on Reiki. Been there, done that, can't afford it.

no it is a USDA loan and I gave them 7 weeks to close knowing that anything goverment involved would take longer. I am gonna back out, if they cant get their **** together. I mean if Im getting screwed so is everyone... I am so angry I cant see straight.

ugh Lola! That's awful. I'm sorry.

MUE: just as an aside, I found Reiki quite helpful when going thru all the pain of bone cancer. I honestly didn't think it would help at all, but the clinic I got chemo at had a Reiki master on staff, and since even the strongest pain meds weren't helping I let her have a go with me, and it really did work. I get it if it's too expensive though. Especially when you are looking at not being able to afford t anymore.

nap time for me. Catch ya all later.

I forgot to reply to this. These marbled papers are really beautiful! I learnt something about marbling: ledgers used to have marbled edges, something like http://www.edenworkshops.com/images/marbling4.jpg , because that made it impossible to cheat or mess with the accounts by removing a page from the ledger. Cool, innit!

Holy crap. I don't log on for a day and a half and the couch adds over 25 pages. No way I can catch up on that.

Well, had T this morning and pdoc this afternoon. My parents came up in T...my T thinks my mom is "quite the character" as she put it. Dad also came up since she asked if I had seen him recently. She was pleased that the zoo trip went well and that I took the iniative to get together with them for "fun". Pdoc also came up in T, since T asked when the next time I would see him was. We talked about my worries that he may increase my meds again. Over all a good T session.

Pdoc went well as well. Kept everything the same. Though I think he went out to have a smoke before my appointment. I was the first appointment (he works as director of the inpatient MH unit in the area in th mornings, then his private practice in the afternoons)...he walked out of his office straight past where he normally grabs the files...through the waiting room past me (says hello as he passes)...out the door...stays out for about 5 minutes, then walks back in. Not that I care if he smokes...he's an adult, he can make that choice. I just find it funny if he does that he would take the first appointment in late because he needed a nicotine fix.

Well, since I have been away for a bit of time...I have no clue what is going on, so I can't be very supportive right now. I'll jump back in here.

I hope everyone is having a good day.

I was researching Reiki in my area. Turns out that there's an office in the same complex as my T. Guess that's where I'll go run and hide when I decide I don't want to go to therapy tonight.

Feeling pretty crappy,,

(((healed)))

pbutton...get your a ss to t! lol

I'm with you, pbutton. I have group T tonight, and I don't want to go. It'll be the first session with T back since his vacation. I was supposed to see him last Friday, but got screwed out of that session. I'm still a bit angry and resentful about it, I suppose - even though I understand that it wasn't necessarily "about me". Same thing with my neurologist appt. today.

I'm in pain. I'm not in the mood to deal with people. I'm not in the mood to see T. I just want to crawl in bed and never get out. But, of course, I'll go. I always do, whether I feel like it or not. Sometimes I'm glad I did. Other times, not so much. Eh. Whatever.

Healed... do you need to call T? Maybe just to talk to him would help a little.

wow i didn't know that .that is awsome

can i just say my life is worthless and now all can move on thank you

You are worth A LOT to us chickie.

Want to talk about it?