Should therapists yell at their clients?

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Under what circumstances do you think it is appropriate for T's to yell at their clients?

• A client has a hard time opening up?

• A client is angry, but not being abusive or devaluing the T?

• A client oversteps email/phone/other boundary?

• Other?

Does it matter more for new clients versus old clients?

Should a T always remain calm or is yelling /shouting allowed?

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I don't see how yelling would ever be appropriate.

Mine has changed the inflection/tone of his voice, but not yelling, simply as a way to gain my attention/get me to follow his instructions when I was badly dissociating. But that was not yelling and certainly not angry.

my t has never yelled but has raised her tone to get my attention to make herself clear when i guess i have aggravated her some but never yelled and then she has apologized for even raising her tone somewhat but i dont think yelling at a client would be appropriate unless its a unforseen circumstance

A T should never be angry at a client - if so, the Ts needs have come into the session and T should take care of that.
T should never be judgmental or blaming or withdraw.

If T does, T should rectify the situation promptly.

I don't think yelling is ever appropriate! Stern more serious voice may come out as I have learned, but never yelling.

I can not imagine that it is appropriate for a T to yell at their clients. If T is angry I can notice it in how she talks, but she will also tell me that she is angry. She has never yelled at me even though there were moments she had good reasons to yell, but she did not. She remains calm does indicate clearly how she feels in the situation. One time I was so rude and if I were in her shoes I would have yelled, but she did not, she stood up and said she had to take a little walk. She came back and handled the situation in a peaceful way.
And when I was calmed we talked about what had happened, what it did to her and what it did with me.

Bloem

No.

I think that pretty much sums up how I feel about it

Yelling? Good lord, I would piss my pants and run the hell away from his office!
No, no, no, NOT appropriate. (Well, unless you punch him in the face or something.)

I've got him angry several times and he has raised the tone of his voice once(when I was in crisis mode and I wanted to commit suicide) but never yelled at me.

No, never, absolutely not under any circumstances should a therapist ever yell at a client, in my opinion.

A T can (and will) be angry. How they handle it is what matters. Actually yelling, NO. But, a lot of people consider a stern voice to be yelling. My daughter has accused me of yelling when I was just being firm. So, I really think you have to be clear the T is actually yelling before tossing them to the curb. Clarify it. "T, were you just yelling at me?"

I do not believe a therapist has any place getting angry with a client. It is not the therapist's life and the therapist has no stake in or claim on the client.
A therapist should never yell at a client. Ever.

Mine got angry when I shut the door behind me & he was still talking to me. He was stern and direct but did not yell.

I don't think therapists should yell at their clients, no.

I think they should be able to deal with things like anger, including if the client becomes abusive and devalues the therapist, without yelling. I speak as someone who has been absolutely horrible to her therapist on many an occasion. I always think I'm actually angry with him, but a lot of it is really down to transference. One of the things I respect most about him is the way he doesn't take things personally. He has told me that, if I'm being horrible to him, it's because I need to be, that I have all this torture in my system.

His reactions are so understanding and gentle that I just find it confusing as it doesn't follow the relational templates I have (I expect him to get angry and emotionally reject me). There was a session where I told him I hated him and he should go f**k himself. I was wrapped in a blanket and I stormed across the room and sat in a chair. And my T walked over to me - and gently tucked in the blanket.

However, you asked if a T should always remain calm or if shouting or yelling are allowed. I'm not sure those are the only options. I think a T can become impassioned, or upset, or angry, but they shouldn't express it in a way that makes the client feel unsafe.

All of that said, I want to tell you about an experience I had a while ago. According to the way I experienced it, my T yelled at me really loudly. It was terrifying and humiliating. I said something like: "Stop shouting at me!" and put my hands over my ears. My T said: "Right, let's try being quieter." I went home thinking he'd yelled at me. I did a whole load of googling, wondering if it was unethical, if I should complain, what the heck I should do.

Next session, I told my T how upset I was that he'd shouted at me like that, how frightening it was. How it was so loud that half the street must have heard. And my T asked if I was sure he'd shouted that loudly. I said: "But my ears hurt..." and he said I could have the experience of him shouting, and my ears hurting, without it "actually" happening (ie outside of my own head), because I might have been reliving something. He told me it was unthinkable that he would lose control like that, that he would shout like that. That the way he was speaking right then, which was quite impassioned, was the loudest he would ever be.

I know my T well enough to believe him. I'm telling this story because I don't know why you're asking this question, but I think it's worth knowing that, if you think a T has shouted, it's worth checking out whether they actually did or if it was some kind of projection. If so, it still happened for you, it still matters, but it puts a whole different slant on things.

As to shouting at a client who has a hard time opening up, I can't think of anything less helpful!

I don't think there's ever a time when a therapist yelling at a client would be appropriate or helpful.

How would yelling be in any way an effective form of communication? It would just put the client on the defensive and cause more issues, I would think.

It's perfectly fine for a T to feel anger and even express it in an appropriate manner...but yelling? No

If my T yelled at me, that would be the end for us. I'd panic and probably wouldn't be able to re-establish trust with her again.

My T has never shouted. Infact in 10yrs her tone of voice has never wavered. She has no need too. Shouting equals a lack of control.
How words are spoken can mimic a mother soothing a young child in her arms. Shouting has no positive effect. It's toxic.

I would be out of there in a flash if my t yelled at me.

my old t never yelled, but did get frustrated on a few occasions, but she always reitterated that she was frustrated at the situation, not at me personally. I was very glad for that distinction.

my t I see now told me at our first meeting, that she will never yell. That was reassuring.

No way in hell should a therapist yell. I mean, unless the client is trying to kill them.

I can't imagine a reason why a therapist would feel the need to yell. He or she is providing the client a service, and should not be so emotionally involved so that there is a need for yelling.
Bluemountains

If my T ever literally yelled at me or snapped at me or anything of that nature, it would definitely trigger me to SI and I would immediately relate her to my mother in my mind. The odds that I would ever feel safe enough to open up to her would be about absolute zero.

She has, however, raised her voice for emphasis. Even though she's telling me nice things like "I KNOW you can do this", it still makes me slightly small and ashamed. But I don't want her to stop doing it.

My T yelled at me more than once. No doubt about it. I didn't know what to do or how to react. It usually made me cry. Didn't stop T either.

I don't like being yelled at and it certainly doesn't make it easier for me to open up..

Never...I mean, unless the client is endangering the T: physical attack, etc.

I think everyone, including a therapist, has a right to be angry with anyone. We interact and that means all kinds of feelings can come up. Anger is a feeling. Talking about it is healthy.
Acting out because of it, by yelling, though, is inappropriate.

Tollhouse, did your T yell at you??

Yes. Swear words and all. I certainly did not feel right about it and I have never heard of a T yelling AT the client.