Couch 65...Where all the fun is!

I am very nervous about telling T2 that tonight is our last session. I usually do this sort of stuff via text...1/2 hour till session so do i tell her first thing or at the end...

((((Mast)))) don't quit!

Every time I terminated, I always did it first thing. So the session can be used to wrap it up

Rts- good luck! I hope it goes well tonight!

thinking of you RTS I hope it goes calmly for you .

Evening couch.

Well...looks like today wasa slow day here. Not much posted since my post from work yesterday. Guess everyone has been too busy to log on and post, or they're just lurking.

I had a pretty rough day at work today. I couldn't figure out why. When I got home I noticed that I left before taking my morning meds, so maybe that was why. I dunno. I am just so over kids' crap. Especially the threats and sexual talk (not toward me but about other students).

I was inside with the 3 kids that hate to go outside again today while the rest of the class was outside. The 2 "little darlings" who were chasing each other around the room yesterday started to make sexual comments about a classmate who was outside. I told them to stop...they laughed and got even more graphic. Then one of them says that he has had it with so and so and that it won't be long before he kicks his a s s. I asked him if he was making a threat. He responds that it wasn't a threat...it was a promise. Teacher came back shortly after then. I told him about the threat, he took the kid to the office for what he said. Not much can be done about the sexual comments, which gets on my nerves. They should have consequences for talking nasty.

*******tw for mention of rape*******

Can I have some thoughts from my couch friends?

I had what I think was a new memory/flashback on Friday of the rape. I just don't get how these type of things work. For 18 years I had one 3rd person memory of the rape. A couple of days after t and I went to visit the site of the tape I had another one.. Way more intense and 1st person. The one that I had on Friday is 1st person and I intense as well. However very random. I was driving home from t when it happened. I am just so Leary of these memories/flashback things...am j just supposed to take it as real? This is an actual memory? Should I doubt it? Should t and I talk about it? What do you all think?

I would talk to T about it, unless the memories are contradicting each other, I see no reason why they wouldnt be real. Its important to talk about this though. Have you figured out a common thread as to what triggers these?

No.. I am not really sure. When I had the memory after the site visit, I assumed it was because of the visit that the new memory came. However, with this newest one that I had on Friday..it just seems so random!! Although, the new memory was of me being held down by the boy on my shoulders.. And the same week that I has the memory I has two instances of people come up behind me and hugging me around my shoulders out of the blue.. So, I thought maybe the feeling of the heaviness on my shoulders maybe could of triggered something inside of me? What do you think? Too far fetched?

I'm sorry Mast. I hope you're able to return to the choir again soon.

My personal t has said the same thing about panic attacks and anxiety- just accept them for what they are. And the more I worry about them both, the worse they'll get. He likes to remind me that anxiety won't hurt me too. Just need to remember this.

No Healed I don't think its too far fetched, I have heard all sorts of things can trigger trauma memories from smells and sounds to touch.

I agree Mast, just write it off as a bad day. You love choir and I would hate to see you give up something you love because of this.

Healed.... I've been told you can have flashbacks from a smell or a sound so I dont think a physical sensation would be too far fetched...

I dont think there is reason to doubt your memories... A T told me sometimes you only get a fragment in your memory like just a hand... Or just a color or pattern of clothing...

Sending lots of hugs your way....

watching the end of Les Miserables, I love musicals

watching the cma's...I love country music

Healed are you feeling better with the asthma?

Lola....you coping with the waiting?

Who's waiting??? haha well I started doing yesterday what I'd be doing if they gave the job to me... and I got my hand slapped today as I stepped on someone's toes.... so it just reenforced that fact that they either give me the job or I need to do something else within the company.

Asthma has been a lot better! Even with the cold I have has for the last week, I have used my inhaler once! Hoping that is a good sign, maybe things are improving for me on this front. Although, tomorrow will be a good test as I start helping coach our girls jv and Varsity basketball teams and I plan on running drills with them and being active!!

That's awesome, I have been looking into volunteer work to keep me busy.... that should be fun

What would you guys do if a therapist told you that you don't pay enough to be deserving of their time?

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I would tell them off , call them a piss poor excuse for a T and probably a few other things I can't type for fear off setting of language monitors.

Do you think it is worth a complaint to her employer?

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I would, But Im a bit of a hot head when it comes to people trying to tell me they are better then me....

Anyone else wanna weigh in?

so I think I have had way to much xananx and tequila now and wANT TOlwave a message to tell T and all he f-ing memories and talking about them and definatelt talking about the mother to f-off that's what I think

Melissa - you seem to really swing back and forth between wanting to list out and address your issues and trying to find a way to complain about T or pdoc. I'd recommend focusing towards the future and getting help for yourself. Let the past go, use it as a guideline to figure out what you want to work on in the future.

Granite, Xanax has warnings not to mix with alcohol. I'm worried about you.

im ok but I want to tell T to screw off and my friend and I walked out wiyh the the hugest bottle ot tequila we drank and I have the greatest souvenir