Couch 65...Where all the fun is!

Wiki- day 12 of juicing. You go. Can I have your autograph?

Well couch, first thing I did to nurture myself was go back to sleep this morning till 10. That is unusual for me as I'm up with the birds every morning. Now I'm having a nice hot cup of coffee, then I'll eat a fulling lunch and I pulled out some coloring books and crayons. It's all about embracing the inner child today. And I'm letting the cleaning go. It can wait.

Thanks for the photo of stopdog! Must be just before a haircut!!

so now im off to T

Good luck Granite!

Good Luck Granite!

Yes hankstah, that was Stopdog with her "no-poo" hair regimen.

Checking into the Couch. I'm only 17+ pages behind after 6 days off.

Things have been going okay. I have been getting a lot of things done while dealing with flashbacks resulting in an increase in anxiety & depression. Plus, my ED t is now wanting me to consider signing up for a 1 day a week group at the ED clinic. Between the holidays coming up and it's been a year since my last spiral with my ED, she's recommending it. I dislike groups more than anything. Spent close to 40 hours/week in groups this entire summer with my ED recovery, so I do know they work, but it's just hard to accept that I might need to go back for more help. Does that make sense? I told her I would think about it.

Time to go read the pages I've missed. Hugs and/or smiles to those that will accept them. I've thought about all of you since I last signed in- in hopes that you're all doing well.

We do wonder what we all look like. That pic just hit my funnybone. A gf of mine is going no-poo on her curly hair, it does look nice. But I dont need any more excuses not to get into the shower! I walked the hour home from t again today. I'm going to try 3 days a week and see if I can stay awake.

Jesus God, therapy is hard. Trying to remember how much whiskey I have at home and contemplating just going home and having a drink. It's not like I'm being productive at work anyway and I'm a little concerned about someone walking in during my intermittent crying jags.

((((mkac))))

If you lived closer - or if I did - we could have a drink together. (I had T today, too. For me it's more the overwhelming vast sadness rather than the crying. But it is hard, hard, hard.)

Vast and overwhelming. That is so accurate. Like there is no bottom to it and eventually it will drown me.

man. I'm melodramatic today. snort.

I don't need a better attitude. I need a better job.

So maybe therapy is not for me...

I need another job. Just found out mine will end in January. A lovely Christmas present! Feeling very low and afraid of the future. Trying to see it as an opportunity but it just isn't working. Definitely unable to afford T now! Worried about everything. This year has really been a bad one, lost three close family members - just wonder what next.... Sorry to be negative just need to vent. Xxxx

Did your therapist say you needed a better attitude? Maybe this therapist is not right for you.

As an aside, you have seemed REALLY happy with your job until lately. What has changed?

therapy kind of sux

Yup.

hugs to MKAC and Mast and Photo and CE and Alone...

right now, vast and overwhelming describes my sadness and anger as well.
I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate my family of origin.
I can never do anything right. All of the work I have done writing letters and banging on doors to get my mother a place and she decides she won't take it because it's "inconvenient" for my siblings. Forget the fact that it is near me and I can get there in seconds. Forget that I am the one that brings her to all the doctors, and grocery stores, and pharmacies and so on. That I am the one who got her old house sold and single-handedly cleared out 40 years of life, got all of her addresses changed, got her taxes handled, found a reputable lawyer...all while selling my own home and going thru surgeries and chemo. Forget that I am the only one of her 7 children that took her in when things got so bad with my brother. Forget all that. She needs to be in a location convenient to my siblings. Oh...and she's having thanksgiving at my sister's (who lives nearby) instead of going to my sister's in CT like I had planned out for her.

And hugs to you Chickie.
(we posted at the same time)

If it were me, I would just let her know that if she needs a location convenient for my siblings, that (1) she can move in with the sister now and I will arrange to move her stuff there ASAP, and (2) my siblings will be the ones caring for her, since the location is convenient for them. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, Woman! Picture this happening to Granite and what your response would be on Granite's behalf!

Or not. As you choose. Just my two cents because I adore you and feel that you are being taken advantage of.

I am so sorry wiki. maybe your brother was on to something about dropping her off at the shelter. I know it is hard but if it is inconvenient for your siblings how is it not for them as she is at your house

I like mkac idea to have her move into a more convenient siblings house

She can't move in with my sister...unfortunately. My sister lives with her boyfriend and his father in a little 3 room cape.

I am about to tell her I'm done. I just can't toss her on the streets. I can't.

Wikid - sorry to hear about the family. I live a thousand miles from mine and it is not an accident.

No poo is great. I do shower every morning though. Without a shower in the morning, I don't wake up. And it is the only thing about morning I like.

Wiki...I know you can't just toss her out but can you just act like you will and tell her she has 2 options... Live in the apartment that you found for her or live in the shelter? This is not fair to you and your H. You did all this stuff for her and that's not fair.

It's freaky. I don't want to be a martyr. Honest.... it's just I am the only one of my family that did "well". I have resources none of the others have. I am the only one who graduated with a degree. My sister in CT is great, and she'd take her, but she's in over her head caring for her severely disabled son. She tries really hard, and takes her for a few weeks when I ask. My oldest bro lives in GA, and rarely even checks in. My next bro is a schizophrenic who thinks he is Jesus and spends most of his life in institutions. The next is an alcoholic who is currently out of work and in foreclosure. Then there is the sister and brother who live here. It's so freaking hard.