not much of a talker anyway. feeling like i am not participating like i should i think i have been doing something i have done as long as i can remember. i told someone yesterday that it feels like i am not in the therapy room, but am observing, as if it isn't about me at all, but about the T. For many many years i watched cautiously from doorways, gauging the atmosphere a while before entering, before risking getting involved. i think i am doing that again/still. don't know how to jump in...

[JonB]

Sorry I don't have any words of advice. I often feel the same way about therapy. Good luck.

[biplol]

(((echoes))) Like you and JonB I feel so detached from everything around me that I don't know what to tell you, just follow what you think is best for you.
You are a smart person, you'll find the way.
PM me anytime!

[Soidhonia]

Hello ECHOES after going through a traumatic incident I started going to support groups in the local area. It has helped me to be around others to learn how to share life and tragedy. A good support group may help you as well if you are just dissociating and feeling that you are not part of the therapy you are getting. DBSAlliance nd NAMI nboth are good support groups, that offer support and education and understanding. They are both on the internet, although DBSA will be back I hope within a week they are updating.
Support groups area lot of fun as well , our groups go to 3 day conferences, and water parks, and activities quite often, it is not just about going and being around others that have a mental disorder, it is about learning how to start in recovery as well. I hope things get better for you soon. Sincerely Soidhonia

[Perna]

Echoes, I felt like you. I was in therapy from 1978-1987 and had a heck of a time getting myself to say anything. We were just getting "started" in 1987 when I moved too far away and had to quit therapy. But I called my old therapist again in 1996 and saw her until July, 2005. The second time around was much better.

I'd start by telling your T how you feel and discuss that. You can't "fail" therapy :-) it's for you, a gift to help you feel better and more engaged in life. Anything you get from it is good, even if it seems sad/bad (that you know you're not engaged). My therapy was a long long process but I'd do it all again if I had to to get to where I am now.

[(JD)]

Oh this must be a terrible feeling for you. I assure you that sometimes it takes just sitting quietly in a safe place...and that is certainly therapeutic.

When you are able (however you can) communicate just what you said to us, to your T. I think you explained what process is occurring as you sit there, and that the T can use it to help you further.

(((hugs))) Sometimes going slowly helps you go faster in the long run.

[pamelasu]

I know the feeling oh to well!! I do the same thing. I feel as if I am just watching instead of actually getting involved. My therapist has tried several aproaches to try to get me to talk but I still can't talk about how I am feeling with her. I've been in therapy for 10 months now with the same therapist and I am just now getting comfortable enough to just talk about my problems. I don't tell her how I feel though not unless it's through email. I hope you find a way to break the ice with your therapist!! *hugs* Good luck!!

Thank you for your replies, friends! This is such a wonderful and supportive site! ((((to all)))

Today was another guided imagery session. We talked just a bit, then got to the guided imagery. This exercise was nothing short of amazing to me! If she had told me ahead of time what would happen, I wouldn't have believed her. It took most of the session, but basically it went like this: It began with her having me bring to mind what it feels like when I am anxious and an anxiety-provoking image.. Then she guided me verbally through the exercise. Afterward she asked me to go back and bring the same anxiety-provoking scenario to mind again and tell her about it. It was exactly the same---except there was no feeling of panic, frantic, helplessness, or feeling trapped. It was just unbelievable!

I think we are laying some groundwork and I feel good about that.

I love the guided imagery and I think, if I allow it, that I can stop worrying about the sessions and just go and let it happen.

BTW: I went to an art show last week (I never get out, but rented a car and went!). One photographer had a framed pic and the words: "It is okay to look at the past.... and the future....just don't stare!!.. live NOW!"

Love it!

ECHOES

To all who took the time to reply to me. I appreciate you very much!

[Soidhonia]

Hello I am glad to hear that things are going well for you and your therapist. Take care sincerely Soidhonia

[January]

Can you write down what you are thinking or feeling and hand it to your t? That has helped me many times.

I hope things go better for both you and Jon.

Hugs,

Jan