The Couch - Welcome to the Psychedelic 70's

Yeah, I guess it was stupid of me to expect that someone would reply to let me know they read it. It's easy to forget that what I told them is most likely more important to me than it is to them.

I don't think it was stupid of you. I often tend to read something and just go okay - I would not have thought to respond - but looking for a reassuring response is not, in my opinion, stupid.

I am finding myself feeling shorted or gipped out of Therapy. It hasn't been this hard to get an appointment with my T since when I first started T. Now, I have been there for two years, have a designated time and day and he has been called away on Fridays a lot. Once was for personal things, they other two things are for other work related jobs. We agreed to once a week, and I would like my once a week back!! Grrr.. And maybe a just acting like a baby, and need to get over it. But- I think it comes down to dependability. My T is a wonderful T, but we go through periods of times where I feel like I can't depend on seeing him Fridays at 4 and I need that right now. I need to be able to know that on whatever day it may be that we are scheduled to see each other, that it isn't going to moved, cancelled, or anything else. Is that too much to ask?

Healed - not too much to ask! That is like the first principle of therapy, just being there consistently. Would a different day work for you?

Got called in the second group about 10:30ish. Just finished lunch break. Waiting for them to take us back up. Only 1 of 30 people has been excused so far. Civil cases in my county are 6 jurors. The group I am in is for a criminal trial, so they will select 12. I sure hope I get off soon.

one hour before i need to leave for therapy .it is still sad. i did want it to work .kind of scared

Ouch that's cold! I've never been that cold and I never want to be!

I just close my eyes.

That was exactly my complaint. Couldn't Madame T at least meet me half way?

((Granite))((Chopin))

Sorry, but I don't agree. When Granite started, she couldn't even say hello. Four years from there to Granite being brave enough to leave is probably about right.

I have to say, though, that getting Granite to talk and listening to her are two very different things.

Yes. I think it is important.

Well after waiting an hour outside the courtroom when they took us back up after lunch, the bailiff came out and told us that a plea bargain had been made, so the trial was dismissed. Yay!

Hi all...did I miss the couch bus to Granite's T session..I'm here..wait for me...I'm hoping on!!!!

I went to T. My T wants me on medication. That was the only answer she could give me for this horrible anxiety. She can go screw. She knows I don't have insurance. She knows I can't afford a P Doc out of pocket.

K. Carry on....

Yeah. It just seems like some of the t's rules against emails etc are hindering rather than helping, and they seem arbitrary and inflexible. And arbitrary and inflexible is itself re-traumatizing since it repeats the original trauma. Thats the kind of thing my t keeps "accusing" me, of accusing him of doing, when in fact he's not. I mean, i yelled at him for wishing me happy new year - that was pretty clear cut proof to me that i was seeing him thru mother-colored glasses. But it took a looooooong time to untangle these feelings.

Did she offer any solutions to the no insurance part of the equation? Did you ask her for any?

I need to curl up on this couch and escape from the world for a few hours!
I've had an horrific day and feel broken and in pieces. Just want to feel wanted by someone and not the needy, pathetic waste of space that everyone thinks I am. It hurts so much.
I feel so bloated and disgusting. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Jersey, did you try any of that herbal stuff people on here have talked about? Where is Wiki...maybe she knows of something?

so sorry about this jersey. readys idea may be a good one.maybe try something herbal

Granite...did you see T yet? been thinking about you and trying to send positive vibes your way.

I am shell shocked from my session. I am a complete whimp and am going back again next week. ill write about it later if you all want to know what went on .its just all crazy

yes I did it was crazy will write about it in a bit

Granite.... be kind to yourself... you are not a whimp. I liked what someone said earlier that therapy is messy and we are all just sort of trying to figure everything out... and we have choices and can change minds and explore thoughts and feelings and change our minds again...

Tomorrow will be a better day. You are not pathetic or a waste of space.

We do want to know Granite. I got back on here just to see how it went.