Couch 75

Been working super hard at ridding myself of the "i deserve" mentality....funny thing is I didnt think I deserved anything before I started therapy so this feels very much like "undoing" therapy but wdik...

Did pretty good on the test today but I had another blowup, this time with my dad.

Ready, I think that female therapist did so much damage in just a couple of appointments and it is so upsetting to see you going back down this road. You DO deserve to be treated with respect and you deserve so much more than you are getting from many of your relationships. I wish YT had referred you to someone good.

I definitely did not believe in "i deserve" before. But now i think i see "i deserve" as, "and if you dont want to give it to me, then maybe i will have to get it elsewhere. But you dont decide for me."

Just found out that my Grand Aunt (Grandmother's Brother's Wife) passed away yesterday.

Feeling very betrayed. The "friend" I mentioned on here last week has lied to me about her whole life. I was hoping I could believe her but I know now that she is one big lie. She created a whole fantasy life that is not related to real life, and she sucked me into it. She has addiction issues too. I know she must be pretty unstable mentally and she needs more help than I can give her. I feel sorry for her and don't want to walk away from her but can't bear knowing that I have been taken for a ride.

I know how you feel, I am having a number of issues with a friend of mine.

Warning .... This is meant for me not for others... I am in no way saying that anyone on PC is doing this...this is about me.

I think this is what new T meant. I can't wait for someone else to do anything for me....I don't just magically deserve for other people to care about what I care about or to think what I think is important.....if I think it needs to be done than I neeed to do it. Its that plain and simple....

Rts- i do think there is some truth in the sentiment-but I think everyone deserves better- just that one must make choices on how to get it. I don't agree with the earn it part - I see it as choosing ways to make one's life better. But, control freak that I am, I believe almost everything is a choice for me to make or not make.

I think that for ME, it is about getting respect from relationships or deciding to walk away. I have decided there IS a certain way I wish to be treated, and it is my responsibility to decide what I am going to do about when I am not treated with respect. If there is something else I want from my life -- a job, a material thing, a change in my life, a change in my body, that is something I have to earn.

I hope you know that I just love you and am waiting for you.

That's not entitlement, that's just good boundaries.

A colleague has just informed me that "VB.Net has no garbage collection". Which, if t'were true, would be very bad news indeed.

Consulting the internet, I find that VB.Net does have garbage collection, but no two authors can agree on how it works or how to get the best out of it.

I am working on a change in my home.... organization and cleanliness.... Its not going to get done while I complain and blame.... I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT...

MKAC... I'm singularly focused on my son's graduation party... My MIL visiting and getting my house clean... I could care less about relationship with my H... Not a priority

Honestly, Ready, I think they tie together, but you know already know my opinion on this stuff. I am thinking of you a lot and hope everything comes together for you.

hi all....
RTS...that quote is a bit harsh. I do think that you teach people how to treat you (as an adult, not as a child). I allow my mother to hurt me. I keep her around so I deserve the pain. I know that and I have acclimated to it. I have put limitations and boundaries around it, I only visit on certain days, I only take 1 call a day, etc. I don't live with her though, so it's easier.

Mastodon, my boy picked up an old Swedish bass guitar and is restoring it. It's a 1964 Hagstrom. Anyhow...I thought of you when he showed it to me. He's ordering original parts from Sweden. Strikes me funny, when I was a kid I wouldn't begin to be able to order parts from anywhere unless I had a paper catalog and a few months to wait. The interwebs is really amazing, isn't it? That I even know someone from Sweden is just crazy.
(Showing my age)

Hi Granite, MKAC, Stopdog, Lola, RT, Neut, Ike, BPA, Hankstah, CE, penguin, purple, healed, Tam and everyone else. (If I've forgotten you it wasn't on purpose.)

olah wiki i hope you are doing well today

My friend right now seems to be like a tick that just won't latch off.

The funny from today's session- the lights went out in the middle of session, we ended up continuing session in a room with a window.

The sad from today's session- my Therapist will be leaving me in 4 weeks to take another job (I have made a separate post on it)

I can not change another person. I can not make them do what I think is important. So I could complain and scream and have a hissy fit, and manipulate till I get my way and get some half hearted help till i calm down...or i could hire someone... Or I can do it myself...

I am choosing to maintain my dignity and my money and do it myself...

I could throw my H out of the house too but guess what I would still have to do it myself... And honestly who would do such a thing right before your kids big day?

for all the bookies....

The Lost Desert Libraries of Chinguetti | Messy Nessy Chic

At a Minor League baseball game right now hoping that it will serve as a nice distraction.

I can tell you, bad luck comes in clusters.

Is this about baseball, or life in general?