When are you next seeing your T? #3

tomorrow
last time didn't end well

Next Tuesday

I don't know anymore. We had one scheduled for Friday but had a spat today.

In 2 weeks. Eek.

Main T in 2 weeks (phone)

CBT T- end of August

***pining away***

Tuesday. I am so lost.

Tomorrow thankfully

Monday @ 11:am

Monday. I also saw her today and it's still too long. :/

Monday 11:30

Next Friday.

Tuesday afternoon.

Tuesday morning

Tuesday. Three days to go! I can't wait. Therapy is keeping me alive and however painful it is, I am so thankful I have a lovely, kind therapist. I know you shouldnt see them as friends but I do see her as a sort of friend, because she is always there for me and the person who knows most about me. Anyways. Wanted to bump this thread because i think it helps somehow... Realising the session is closer than you think.

I'm sorry if this is off-topic. My T has been on vacation for 17 days and she told me to contact her, and we'll set my next appt. During the time she was gone, I missed her but then kind of stopped because it felt pointless, and it doesn't change anything anyway. I should text her in 2 days, but I can't shake the thought of never contacting her again, to just ''dissapear''. I know it would hurt me badly, but that's how I deal with things - leave and ''enjoy'' my misery. Does anyone feel like that? It's such an awful feeling. I want to see her, but I don't.. What would you do?

Sorry for this being long and thank you.

I'm a big believer in "goodbyes" even when they are tough. I would suggest at least contacting her for a termination session...
aside of that, is there a reason you want to "disappear" from therapy? I know when that happens for me, it is because I am trying to "disappear" from life in general, and it's much easier if I don't have the accountability of therapy. I'm actaully struggling with going back to my new T a lot lately, and have realized it's because she does not yet know me, so it would be easier to disappear without raising suspiscions... do you know what is motivating your desire to disconnect? (you don't have to answer here, but just soemthign to think about)...

The thing is I don't really want to leave. I am so afraid of feeling like I need or miss her, I don't want that, it makes me too vulnerable. And I would probably wish she'd contact me, and feel disappointed and abandoned if she wouldn't. It's like ScarletPimpernel described in another thread (Maintaining a Connection): ''I am SO excited to see her again...and SO terrified! I want a hug; I don't want her to touch me. I want to start working on my issues again; I don't want to say a word to her. I'm happy; I'm angry. I want her to be my T; I never want to see her again.''

Thank you for taking your time and answering me!

ugh, not till friday. having trouble maintaining any feeling of connectedness between sessions, which makes it difficult to go back, and difficult to get through the week. :/

I can relate to that... the conflict of it sucks.

Hi Sawyerr, I recognise this feeling, especially what you say about not wanting to need your T, not wanting to be vulnerable. One fear I have (which might not apply to you) is that my need for my T gives him too much power over me... but with growing trust for my T, I have come to realise that if he does have power (which is doubtful - after all, I can choose to quit whenever I like) he is not going to abuse it.

I think you should contact your therapist, set up an appointment, and then try to tell her what you've written here. When we get these contradictory feelings, it's easy to follow the path of least resistance and simply not do anything, but I hope you will set up another appointment, because I don't think you have anything to lose by doing that.

24 days to go for me, now. A little more than three weeks. I think I'll make it all the way. (well, I know I will make it, but I think I'll make it and be ok.)

You must contact her...and if you can share about the dilemma of her being away and all those thoughts. I think you'll find that many patients experience those same emotions and thoughts.

You must contact her, from what I read she put it into YOUR hands...and she may consider it unethical to contact you for another appointment. Call her office at least, and inquire. That will be enough for her to contact you, as you feel you need her to do.

16 more days to go.....

monday at 1pm. very nervous

Monday at 6pm. Also very nervous.