[glitterrosez89]

I established goals for myself at my first appointment yesterday. One thing that concerns me is that I sort of got the impression that the therapist thought I could just go stick to these daily goals now that I have them. The thing is, it's not like creating to-do lists isn't something I have tried before. My hope is that knowing someone else is keeping me accountable will help motivate me to actually stick to what I said I'll do, but it's honestly really hard for me to just go do something...I have a hard time concentrating a lot of the time, so I just give up and spend four hours in bed crying before I try to be productive again. It's a hard cycle to break. I can't do it overnight.

I'm worried that if I don't show up to my next appointment (in 3 wks) reporting that I'm accomplishing so much, he's just going to be like, "Well, if you don't want to change, then I can't help you." I want to change. I really am not just a lazy person. I'm very depressed and have concentration issues that make it easier said than done, though. Just deciding to radically change my habits and behaviors isn't enough to make me transform into a whole new person.

[Bells129]

I thought the same, but truly it's not like that. I was probably the least cooperative patient ever when I first saw my T, I never did the work she set me and it took a long time to become receptive to her therapy...but she stuck by me (although gave me a few kicks up the backside along the way) she never abandoned me just because I didn't do something, they understand progress doesn't happen overnight.

[glitterrosez89]

Thanks. I hope so. I already failed today. I didn't even get out of bed until 6 p.m. and then spent a good amount of time crying and clicking around on here before getting any work done. Ughh. I don't know why I cannot just focus. It used to be so simple to do so.

[iGottaBme]

CBT works well for some things....social anxiety, fears, current day issues. I saw a CBT for yearw and he did help with those things but he did not deal with trauma so I didn't get better. It taught me that you need to see a T who deals with YOUR issues in the same way that you deal with medical doctors. It is okay to see a GP for the day to day things but sometimes you need a specialist.

[MoxieDoxie]

CBT therapist do exposure therapy for trauma. What a barbaric practice. He almost killed me. He should have admitted I was out of his scope of practice. He did have the balls at least to mention EMDR but left it to me to find a therapist which I did. I do not see CBT man anymore. He couldn't deal with me.

[glitterrosez89]

I think CBT DOES make the most sense for me because one of the main things I need to do is break counterproductive habits and thought patterns. I have a lot of family issues too, but I don't think my experience with them falls under the category of trauma. I just need someone to b**** to about them sometimes lol. It's just that I hope the short-term focus of CBT doesn't mean that there's no room to slip up because I know I will.

Originally Posted by glitterrosez89

I established goals for myself at my first appointment yesterday. One thing that concerns me is that I sort of got the impression that the therapist thought I could just go stick to these daily goals now that I have them. The thing is, it's not like creating to-do lists isn't something I have tried before. My hope is that knowing someone else is keeping me accountable will help motivate me to actually stick to what I said I'll do, but it's honestly really hard for me to just go do something...I have a hard time concentrating a lot of the time, so I just give up and spend four hours in bed crying before I try to be productive again. It's a hard cycle to break. I can't do it overnight.

I'm worried that if I don't show up to my next appointment (in 3 wks) reporting that I'm accomplishing so much, he's just going to be like, "Well, if you don't want to change, then I can't help you." I want to change. I really am not just a lazy person. I'm very depressed and have concentration issues that make it easier said than done, though. Just deciding to radically change my habits and behaviors isn't enough to make me transform into a whole new person.

This question seems like it can apply to just about any therapist. As mentioned therapists know that progress takes time and the course of treatment depends on not only them but the client. One with no patience or understanding would be quick to give up on their clients. Imo it's best to avoid therapists who push too hard for things too soon that you're not ready for. Also, therapists are people too. They know clients aren't perfect and would slip up at some point. Maybe being honest and raising these concerns with him would make you more comfortable with him and establish familiarity sooner. His reaction could give you an idea of what type of therapist he is and you can decide if he is a good fit for you.

[growlycat]

I often f'up in CBT therapy, like not fully doing the homework. CBT T will discuss the roadblocks and then assign a more attainable task. I don't hear him give me any hint that he would dump me over it. I think I'd have to be non-communicative and noncompliant for him to refer me.

I can see a bad T pushing too far too fast, but I see that as a therapist problem, not the modality. There are poor T's of many stripes.

[NowhereUSA]

Originally Posted by glitterrosez89

I think CBT DOES make the most sense for me because one of the main things I need to do is break counterproductive habits and thought patterns. I have a lot of family issues too, but I don't think my experience with them falls under the category of trauma. I just need someone to b**** to about them sometimes lol. It's just that I hope the short-term focus of CBT doesn't mean that there's no room to slip up because I know I will.

if cbt is hard, you might consider dbt for what you want. i found it incredibly helpful in breaking my negative coping patterns and thought processes. it also has a more positive reinforcement behind it.

[elliemay]

You know, it might be that CBT is not the right kind of treatment for you know. I really do think you have to be in a certain place (IE recovering from depressive symptoms) to get much benefit from that kind of treatment.

It really sounds as though you need some help with that. I just don't think depression is something you can will your way out of sometimes.

Have you considered going to a psychiatrist and discussing medication?

I know I found that just a slight amelioration made it a lot easier to make the lifestyle changes I needed to make.

[glitterrosez89]

Originally Posted by NowhereUSA

if cbt is hard, you might consider dbt for what you want. i found it incredibly helpful in breaking my negative coping patterns and thought processes. it also has a more positive reinforcement behind it.

I remember you mentioned it in another thread. I might look into it if this guy doesn't wind up working out, but I hope he does because I really liked our first appointment and am so over starting anew with therapists haha.

Originally Posted by elliemay

You know, it might be that CBT is not the right kind of treatment for you know. I really do think you have to be in a certain place (IE recovering from depressive symptoms) to get much benefit from that kind of treatment.

It really sounds as though you need some help with that. I just don't think depression is something you can will your way out of sometimes.

Have you considered going to a psychiatrist and discussing medication?

I know I found that just a slight amelioration made it a lot easier to make the lifestyle changes I needed to make.

I have been to a psychiatrist before, but I do not want to be on medication. I cannot afford it anyway.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by glitterrosez89

I have been to a psychiatrist before, but I do not want to be on medication. I cannot afford it anyway.

A lot of places (in the usa, not weird web places) sell prozac for like $4 a month. Psych meds dont have to be outrageous.

I would look into self-sabotage (like google it). It sounds like you do not have a supportive family, and you are worried the t will withdraw his support "before you get a chance". Believe me, that is transference talking - that is how your family treated you, that is how you expect the world to treat you. It is NOT how a halfway decent t works.

[glitterrosez89]

Originally Posted by hankster

A lot of places (in the usa, not weird web places) sell prozac for like $4 a month. Psych meds dont have to be outrageous.

I would look into self-sabotage (like google it). It sounds like you do not have a supportive family, and you are worried the t will withdraw his support "before you get a chance". Believe me, that is transference talking - that is how your family treated you, that is how you expect the world to treat you. It is NOT how a halfway decent t works.

Thank you for letting me know about the medication. I did not know that. However, I still do not want to take depression medication.

[glitterrosez89]

See, this is one of the reasons I can't do what I'm supposed to be doing. One of the main things I'm supposed to do is apply to jobs. But every time I pull up online job listings, I see that I can't do ANY of the stuff in any of the job descriptions. If I do find a job description that sounds like I could maybe manage to do that job, I get to the application (which of course has like 40 parts, so it'll take 2 hours to complete), and it starts asking me questions like "How many years of experience do you have in a similar position?" What's the point in even spending all of my time filling out applications for jobs I won't get because I have no skills or experience that anyone values? This is the kind of crap that makes me want to give up on life because it's like I'll never be able to get anywhere in life anyway because there's nothing I'm good at, and no one is willing to give me a chance to learn how to do anything. It's also the kind of crap that makes me want to say eff therapy and never go back because what's the point if I can't do any of the stuff he wants me to do because I'm too stupid?

[NowhereUSA]

i don't think you should write yourself off. when i left retail, i got a financial job. i had zero experience, but i gave it a shot anyway. i used similar experiences in retail, and real life (i'm very computer savvy).

i've not worked for three years now (kids), but i would use things like, putting together school curriculum (i homeschool). or handling the family budget to the point of getting us out of debt on a small salary. or my computer skills. or the fact that i co-ran an online writing community for a year and a half which required me to handle conflict (and we had it), enforce rules, and manage moderators.

sometimes it's about thinking out of the box.

[Ford Puma]

Originally Posted by glitterrosez89

I established goals for myself at my first appointment yesterday. One thing that concerns me is that I sort of got the impression that the therapist thought I could just go stick to these daily goals now that I have them. The thing is, it's not like creating to-do lists isn't something I have tried before. My hope is that knowing someone else is keeping me accountable will help motivate me to actually stick to what I said I'll do, but it's honestly really hard for me to just go do something...I have a hard time concentrating a lot of the time, so I just give up and spend four hours in bed crying before I try to be productive again. It's a hard cycle to break. I can't do it overnight.

I'm worried that if I don't show up to my next appointment (in 3 wks) reporting that I'm accomplishing so much, he's just going to be like, "Well, if you don't want to change, then I can't help you." I want to change. I really am not just a lazy person. I'm very depressed and have concentration issues that make it easier said than done, though. Just deciding to radically change my habits and behaviors isn't enough to make me transform into a whole new person.

I have been thinking a lot about this over the last week. Next week could be my last with T and right now I am just totally livid with her.
Had she just came right out with it when I first meet her and told me she did not know how to help at lest I would have gone to someone else. 24 or so appointments in 4 years and now all I am is angry.