Do I need to go to hospital? - please help

Gavinandnikki · Aug 24, 2014 at 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

Definitely doubting I can stay safe

And suppose I can, by taking the rest of the valium and drinking a bottle of vodka to make me sleep tonight, they only come back again the next day or a few days later. I also don't want to risk a valium and vodka cocktail as I have a physical health condition that makes that more dangerous than it already is. Ironic

that I can be concerned about not dying from that yet in another way every atom of my being is telling me that topping myself is the wisest choice for me now. I guess it's probably because I'm such a control freak I want it all on my terms.

I did leave my therapist a voicemail and a text yesterday when it was bad, before the valium doped me up, which she'll find on Tuesday after the weekend. I told her I thought I needed to go to hospital. At the time I thought it might have helped to connect with her, but really I know nothing is able to help except maybe some proper medication. All it shows is that she is not in fact available for emergency situations on the weekends like she said, not that it even matters because whatever's wrong with me is too wide and too deep to be soothed by a quick call with anyone. Relationships are beyond me, I want people and then I can't bear the proximity, because I'm always aware that I have no solid foundation, and the light social interactions are all I have and they are never enough. I mean I ignored my friends today and made excuses last night because I couldn't face them. I knew being around them would be unbearable even though they are nice, fun people.

What you are describing taking = death. So, go to hospital or throw it out and get a grip.

Gavinandnikki · 07:04 AM

If you take too much of your pills you will stop breathing. I think An ER is better than not breathing.

HazelGirl · Aug 24, 2014 at 08:38 PM

Call an ambulance. They will allow you to bypass the waiting room drama.

Gavinandnikki · Aug 24, 2014 at 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Call an ambulance. They will allow you to bypass the waiting room drama.

Not if there are critically ill medical patients ahead of them.

clairelisbeth · Aug 24, 2014 at 09:59 PM

Hoping that you are doing ok…….

HazelGirl · Aug 24, 2014 at 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki

Not if there are critically ill medical patients ahead of them.

If she comes in on an ambulance, it will greatly speed up the process and she will be waiting in the back and not in the waiting room. At least, that's how it works most of the time.

growlithing · 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki

Not if there are critically ill medical patients ahead of them.

Mixing the pills, a bottle of vodka, with a 10% will to live IS a critically ill patient.

Call an ambulance, spend the $50, do whatever is necessary to make sure you are safe. Your life is worth the hospital's time, the paramedic's time, your time, and it is certainly worth much more than $50.

The thing is, if this were my post or anyone else's post and we said we were chasing pills with vodka and didn't feel safe or really want to be alive, you would tell us to go to the hospital by any means necessary. I know you would, I've seen it. Be your own friend, give yourself the same compassion you give us, and go the extra mile to save yourself. You can do it.

Aug 24, 2014 at 11:57 PM

Which hospital is that? Most London hospitals treat suicidal as a nuisance that I know off.

leggiera · Aug 25, 2014 at 12:12 AM

IG: Are you there? How are you doing?

Willowleaf · Aug 25, 2014 at 02:21 AM

Hopefully you've been asleep but if you can't cope with dailing 999 or getting yourself to a hospital at least ring the Samaritans. They can either chat to you or just sit on the end of the phone in silence. If you don't like the person you are connected to give it a few minutes and ring back as you will then get connected to someone else. If you can't afford the phone call ask them and they will ring you back I think. Please look after yourself, you do matter.

IndestructibleGirl · 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki

What you are describing taking = death. So, go to hospital or throw it out and get a grip.

Sorry - I was too vague here, I did not want to take the pills and alcohol together so I didn't. I thought I'd made it clear enough when I said I was too much of a control freak to die like that.

I do think telling me to 'get a grip' was not very useful though. I genuinely don't care how scornfully you view me. However, someone else going through a suicidal crisis might find that harsh. The whole point of being seriously afraid you might harm yourself means there is a distinct lack of grips available to your inner resolve at that moment

In addition, while you are quite right and it is dangerous to mix benzos and alcohol, a lot depends on the tolerance of the person. I have drunk a bottle of wine on 10mg diaz and just felt incredibly mellow. Several times, I have had a large glass of wine with a 2mg diaz to ramp it up and make it more effective.

IndestructibleGirl · Aug 25, 2014 at 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

If she comes in on an ambulance, it will greatly speed up the process and she will be waiting in the back and not in the waiting room. At least, that's how it works most of the time.

I did think about an ambulance but if I called one, they'd take me to the nearest hospital which I REALLY cannot go to right now because it will cause me MAJOR anxiety - it is where the UK has set up the ebola treatment unit and some poor guy arrived there from Sierra Leone yesterday

IndestructibleGirl · Aug 25, 2014 at 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Which hospital is that? Most London hospitals treat suicidal as a nuisance that I know off.

Mouse, I have heard that St Thomas' and King's are excellent. Both are linked to the Maudsley psychiatric hospital, they're all part of the same NHS trust.

IndestructibleGirl · Aug 25, 2014 at 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leggiera

IG: Are you there? How are you doing?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willowleaf

Hopefully you've been asleep but if you can't cope with dailing 999 or getting yourself to a hospital at least ring the Samaritans. They can either chat to you or just sit on the end of the phone in silence. If you don't like the person you are connected to give it a few minutes and ring back as you will then get connected to someone else. If you can't afford the phone call ask them and they will ring you back I think. Please look after yourself, you do matter.

I'm ok, thank you - my roommate came home at 2am, and I would never do anything with her here.

Doing better today because tomorrow the bank holiday weekend will be over and I'll be able to go back to work and throw myself into that but already dreading next weekend. I think I need a crisis team so I have someone to call when I sink, I can't keep doing this. This weekend has been the most frightening and exhausting close shave with just losing my **** and doing something impulsive.

Therapy definitely is not helping at the moment. Is it sometimes the case that it can be harmful if the client isn't stable enough?

kraken1851 · Aug 25, 2014 at 06:07 AM

I'm glad you are feeling a bit more safe at this point! Is there any way for you to reach out to your room mate?

For me, therapy has certainly brought me to a worse place than before I started. It's as if all the protective layers have been peeled away. But I know I have to wade through all this mud before I have a chance of getting better. That's what keeps me hanging on.

IndestructibleGirl · Aug 25, 2014 at 06:19 AM

No, I would definitely not reach out to my roommate. She is a sweet girl, but very much a kid and I would not hit her with something like this. My long established friends are close by and I can't even bring myself to tell them. They'll just feel sorry for me, so I don't want them to know. They've been witness to all my bereavement, sickness, poverty, fighting with my real mother, etc of the last five years, when they have had a more conventional life of a successful person in their twenties with good jobs/ getting engaged/ travelling the world, so they just think I'm a tragic loser anyway. I can't give them any more crap to back that up.

feralkittymom · Aug 25, 2014 at 06:32 AM

I'm glad you made it through the long night. I think having a crisis team is a great idea.

Bill3 · Aug 25, 2014 at 07:55 AM

((((IndestructibleGirl)))))

I'm so glad that you made it through the night and are doing better today.

nottrustin · Aug 25, 2014 at 08:19 AM

You probably should have gone to the hospital but you were able to pull through. I am sure it was very difficult and painful. I also find the weekends the hardest. When I am at work or running my children to appointments, school etc I am able to focus on other things. The weekends though allow me too much time to think. Have you tried to work with you treatment team to figure out ways to make the weekends easier?? I am trying to figure that out (unsuccessfully right now)

NowhereUSA · Aug 25, 2014 at 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

I did think about an ambulance but if I called one, they'd take me to the nearest hospital which I REALLY cannot go to right now because it will cause me MAJOR anxiety - it is where the UK has set up the ebola treatment unit and some poor guy arrived there from Sierra Leone yesterday

Your chances of getting ebola are quite effectively zero. he's quarantined and it is only spread by bodily fluids of which you will not come into contact because, quarantine.

if that's the excuse, call an ambulance and just repeat the facts to yourself.

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Do I need to go to hospital? - please help

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Gavinandnikki Grand Member Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 872 11 1,014 hugs given	Aug 24, 2014 at 08:24 PM #22 If you take too much of your pills you will stop breathing. I think An ER is better than not breathing. __________________ Pam Last edited by darkpurplesecrets; Aug 25, 2014 at 07:04 AM.. Reason: administrative edit......
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HazelGirl Elder Member Since Jan 2014 Location: USA Posts: 5,248 10 91 hugs given	Aug 24, 2014 at 08:38 PM #23 Call an ambulance. They will allow you to bypass the waiting room drama. __________________ HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg
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clairelisbeth Member Member Since Aug 2013 Location: NJ Posts: 400 11 3 hugs given	Aug 24, 2014 at 09:59 PM #25 Hoping that you are doing ok…….
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Anonymous37903 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 24, 2014 at 11:57 PM #28 Which hospital is that? Most London hospitals treat suicidal as a nuisance that I know off.
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leggiera Member Member Since Jan 2014 Location: USA Posts: 45 10 62 hugs given	Aug 25, 2014 at 12:12 AM #29 IG: Are you there? How are you doing?
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feralkittymom Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2012 Location: yada Posts: 4,415 12 1,974 hugs given	Aug 25, 2014 at 06:32 AM #37 I'm glad you made it through the long night. I think having a crisis team is a great idea.
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Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,948 15 24.1k hugs given	Aug 25, 2014 at 07:55 AM #38 ((((IndestructibleGirl))))) I'm so glad that you made it through the night and are doing better today.
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