Couch 79: Spend some time on Couch 79 (snap, snap)

Go on, you know you want to.
YTMND - The Original Hampster Dance

omg, that's my JAM!

I am sorry Mast- I think my initial post came off judgmental to some, as most of us are in therapy ourselves. T has helped me tremendously, its just feels like I can't do any aspect of my life without help. and I hate feeling so dependent on other people.

Thank you for pointing this out to me.. I didn't really think about that all. I am planning on talking with T about it on Friday and some more rational thoughts will come out, things I have no though fully through yet.

My job, I didn't sign anything that said that I can't do this, and can't do that. Though, I don't think I will lose my job this school year, the chances are they won't renew me for next school year. I am prepared for that. Thank for point these things out to me though.

I didn't see it as judgmental, I just hate to see you hurting. (Hey, I'm the queen of "other people can do x and that's not weird, but if I do it then I'm broken", so I understand the feeling.)

Granite...been thinking about you today...

You know you are a total freak when something you say makes a therapist stop cold and just sit there and stare at you in surprise.

I told my T something about my feelings today and he said (before he had chance to check himself) "that's bizarre."
I told him not to be so dismissive of my feelings and I think he felt bad for saying it but I still get why he thought that. I suppose my thought processes are bizarre at times..

T has said to me in the past that my thought processes were ****ed up, and it didn't make me feel badly. I just argued with him about why I thought what I was thinking was true. This was about my actions, and for some reason that seems much worse to me.

Its nice that both of you are able to share with your T so openly. I only get to talk about whatever skill I am supposed to be learning or she blows off anything I say. It is very focused therapy so I get no assistance with real life issues.... Only 12 to 16 more weeks and then I'm not supposed to need therapy anymore.

Ready, have you considered that she might not be the right therapist for you? I get sad for you sometimes that you are willing to accept getting so little from people in your life.

wow I hope you are ok MKAC. I doubt you are a freak of any kind. im sorry you have a story that makes your T stop in his tracks

RTS - are you sure you don't want to try some different sort of therapy with a different sort of therapist?

((MKAC))

What happened?

You're not a freak MKAC. Maybe you have more experience with the freaky stuff that life can throw at you, but that doesn't make you a freak.

Eeeee life...

Wah! I don't want to go to work! I'm tired of 10+ hour days! Oh well, I guess I need the overtime to pay my T Later couch!

Ugh 10 hr days. Soon I will be working them too, lots of mandatory overtime injanuary . Not looking forward to it.

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There is a certain person who has been posting engagement photos, wedding photos and honeymoon photos every week for the past six months.

And I'm thinking, "Will your interminable nuptials never cease?"

One can't post that on Facebook, of course.

Pregnancy photos next, no doubt.

That's sweet but don't feel sorry for me... Once you are an adult and can make your own decisions and choices..you get in life what you deserve.

I have been to a psychodynamic therapist, a relational therapist, a trauma eclectic therapist and now a dbt and prolonged exposure trauma therapist...

There comes a time when instead of thinking you haven't had the right kind of therapist or the right therapist that you may have to admit it could be the other common denominator....me that is the issue.

My experience is that you get what you ask for. And if you don't ask for sh^t you don't get sh^t.

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I can see this could be true as well as you get treated in a certain way because you allow it. I'm sure in a 100 different ways I ask for how I am treated... And I accept it. I can't make someone treat me differently...I can't change another persons actions all I can control is mine. I could choose to leave the T or the people in my life but I have chosen to stay.

I can see now that my original post about my T was worded to seek sympathy. I didn't see that before but I do now. Just me playing the victim again, I will try to notice that sooner before I post. I don't need sympathy for my choice I am not a victim.

If I were raped or robbed I don't think I would agree with this.

Sorry RTS, I didn't mean to imply you were playing the victim or anything like that. Don't mind my flip mouth. We're all in the same mess, one way or another. I was referring more to myself than anyone else tbh...


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