Do you find self-care difficult? Why or why not?

Absolutely. I have always had this problem but it got worse after I contracted the Didgee Psychotic Disorder. After that I became lazy. Bathing, cooking and looking after my apartment is a lot harder now. I'm messy but I don't live in filth and garbage so I guess it is not that bad.

I find it hard to eat properly and regularly. I try but sometimes it is too hard to cook. When that happens I just ignore the hunger pangs. I know I should not do that.

A mixture, really.

I'm quite good at the basics, on a level. I wash, eat, get some exercise and sleep regularly, usually, and spend approximately one or two hours (varies) on planning and doing things to look after my physical health condition. In acute situations, I am able to put my health condition first, and calmly sacrifice anything I might have to, even though it disappoints and frustrates me immeasurably. I'm very tuned into my body and know when not to push it too far.

But I am dissatisfied because I know if I could pour more energy into pushing myself at exercise, or working harder at my health condition, or meal planning better meals for a week at a time...well, that would be better self care. And somedays I have terrible days regarding food.

When it comes to the more abstract self care of the personal infrastructure of my life (like sorting banking, medical appointments, booking flights, school deadlines, being organized in renewing car tax etc etc) I fall down hard. I always make it but always by the skin of my teeth. I need to improve dramatically on this, but have no idea how.

ETA: obviously, the times I engage in SH are major fails in the self-care dept also.

Oh my God this just made me sad to read that, I'm sorry you had such a tough childhood, this is too much for anybody at any age but childhood, oh man.

I'm glad you survived that experience, I'm in awe of your resilience.

I can see where you are coming from, in a way.
I have wanted to lose weight ever since I can remember and yet it is very hard to accomplish (I lost about 30lbs, but gained most of back because I slacked and possibly because I started taking anti depressants)

Anyways, yeah you would think something that you want should be simple. So many other people can do it so why can I.

But small things can add up and in a way I wish I had nothing to do all day, work is pretty draining and then to stress if I am going to gwt my *** moving or just make my way to bed when I get home. Lol
Good luck!!!

I'm too damn tired from battling my head to take a walk or work out.

Recently I was diagnosed with arthritis and I am constantly stiff and in pain, so that sort of caps it.

We are creatures of habit, period. I've had phases spanning decades where I didn't workout, eat healthy yada yada. Now I must do those things or I go crazy. All nothing more than habit. A big ole b1tch to change, but once you do it's smooth sailing.

It is not simply habit for everybody. I know my point of view is irrelevant here so I won't try to explain it, but not everybody can simply change their habits. If they could, then CBT would work for everybody.

Wait, why is your point of view irrelevant? I made the thread to hear people's opinions on why one might find self-care difficult (and ultimately on how we might improve). Everybody's opinion is welcome. Who knows, maybe something one of us says is going to help somebody look at something in a new way or get inspired....

I find self care difficult particularly when depressed, dress code is daggy, unbrushed hair and the feeling well I just couldn't be bothered. When on good days it's all good and the cycle begins. But I want to break the cycle as I want to get into non strenuous exercise.

I find it so hard, not in terms of keeping healthy because for me eating well and exercise is just luckily habit that I've formed since childhood, but that's just luck that it's ingrained. On the other hand I find it really hard to self-soothe and self-nurture when I'm feeling any intense emotions or depression or anxiety. I go for harmful behaviours rather than self care.
My main problem is not feeling like it'll "connect" with me...like it will just be pointless, because I don't have an anchor inside me or something. Not sure if this resonates with anyone but we've been over it in therapy. In the past my T has told me to just do one small thing a day. If I've been going through a difficult time she tells me do one small thing every day for a week, such as cooking your favourite meal, reading a poem, buying a chocolate, sitting outside, and being aware that you're doing this as a special self-care thing. She said don't worry if it doesn't feel like you're connecting with it, it will build up anyway.
Hope that helps a little.

I can relate to the main problem makes sense. Getting the "connection" is a problem with me at this stage so yea doing one small thing everyday sounds like good advice that would definitely build up over time. Thanks for sharing good advice I will try that.

My mood affects what I do to a huge extent. Being depressed makes me a bag of lazy bones and I just want to stuff my face with comfort food and stew in my misery. Then I feel even worse for eating all that chocolate/cake/ice-cream and the vicious cycle of not wanting to improve continues. When I'm really, really depressed and/or anxious, I feel sick at the thought of eating and instead start using/drinking/SH-ing which are of course terrible methods of coping. If I'm hypomanic, self-care doesn't cross my mind at all and I am either too irritated or elated to give a crap. The impulsivity and short fuse all but takes over.

So basically, what I'm trying to say is that moods play a big role in my self-care routine. This is probably true for others too as if we're not in a good psychological state, we can hardly be expected to have the energy to take care of ourselves. My T wants me to eat fish daily, drink lots of water/tea, take vitamins and read the Bible when I am suicidal. I wish I could follow her instructions to the T (pun unintended LOL) but it's often not the case. Of course, daily schedules can get hectic and overwhelm us despite our best intentions too.

Lastly, this is frankly embarrassing but I am afraid of getting better because I don't want to lose my T. I know that such thinking defeats the whole purpose of therapy yet I cannot stand to lose the one person who understands me so well and actually cares (paid or not) and whom I care so much about.

I didn't take care of myself for about ten years. I put on weight, didn't take care of my teeth, didn't take care of my mental health.

Now I'm trying to work on everything. But it's still not easy. Going to the dentist, going to family doc regularly, seeing a T, and losing weight. Maybe eventually I catch back up.

I'm terrible at house and yard work too. I know I'd feel better with a trimmed yard and a clean room to hang out in my house, but just can't seem to get up and do it right now.

Abe Froman. Isn't that the dad from Ferris Bueller's Day Off? I thought it was familiar!

Self care is very difficult for me since I've become unwell, but it's getting easier. I used to wash once every 2 weeks and change my clothes once or twice in that time, I never used to brush my teeth, but I do both of them more regularly now. Before I became unwell I would wear makeup and brush my hair, dress well etc, and I still don't do any of those but I'm getting there. As for diet, I have put on lots of weight but I've started dieting in the past few months and am starting to loose that weight so I suppose that aspect of self care has got better too.

True, self care is very difficult even for me. I must also admit taking my meds I really find difficult to do cause of my pessimism. I just cannot bring myself to take them.. omg it is so hard for me to comply with doctors on this case regards to meds as there is so much negativity about them. Previous meds sertraline 50mg gave me high blood pressure.. I know meds affect everyone differently so yea for me self care is very difficult. So now I'm trying to get on the best way I can to help myself. And if that fails then maybe no choice but go back to the doctors.

I am horrible at self care. There are things I do want to change but I can't force myself to do so. For instance, my desk at work is covered in trash but i cant do anything about it. I know thats not really *self* care, i am embarrased by the things i dont do. Also I am scared that someone will notice that I am doing something good and comment on it.

I have trouble trying to force myself to do things it's a struggle alright. Advice from a member on this forum mentioned starting out each day doing small things and hopefully that way build up over time. I guess no matter what you try in making a difference starts off as a challenge to get motivated (for me I will try to have a go at trying) though depression has a way of keeping us down til we stay down. I hope we can one day see a light at the end of the tunnel by at least trying to make small differences but even that for some people that is hard. All the best of health and well being to everyone on here.