Couch 82: If you're happy and you know it, be a number!

How did your t even know what was going on, before your session? Do i have that correctly? You should have been able to go in there and talk about what you wanted. Not about what he wanted. Thats your basic right in therapy. That was thwarted. Its like they put another layer of feelings on you and said, lets deal with these instead. So - idk about ironic, per se. He is making it about topic B, whereas you wanted topic A.

Well, my depression had been getting worse the last couple of weeks, so he knew that much. Plus, we had been emailing through out the week because he wanted me to let him know how things were going not only mood wise,but with the situation with my son at school. He thought, that everything that had gone on all week with my son plus thr increasing depression and suicidal ideation warranted enough of a reason for him to be concerned that he needed to contact somebody close to me.

Baby mouse update (and to save my self from thinking about christmas) the 4 surviving mice are having a ball they have discovered the wheel and sometimes they all attempt to get on at once. Because I'm such a **** mummy mouse i have put too sawdust n the cage and they bury themselves it. It is funny because they look like those gopher or mole things in cartoons.

When we fix the sawdust thing I'll take some pics.

Still really irritable once the drowsiness associated with my zyprexa wears off. They keep shoving valium down my throat which I hate it reallt makes me want to go dr shopping.
Any way I the acute care team pdoc on Tues its Sunday here. and see the mood disorders pdoc on Thurs.

Another song brought to by the person waiting for the Acute Team to ring to see if they will actually vivist me today.
Drowse by Queen.

Ok- I need my PC friends to help me to decide if an email to my T is good right now.

T contacted husband this week because he was concerned for my safety. He did so because my depression has been bad, suicidal ideation getting worse, and been dealing with a stressful situation with my work and with my son's school. He felt like that my words and promises, the check ins we were doing weren't enough to ensure my safety. However, he told my husband he didn't think inpatient at this point was the answer.

The overall feeling I get from this is that I am too much for him to handle by himself, that he can't trust my words, and that maybe the emails, and extra sessions were just too much for T. Maybe, this is his way to say I need to start relying on other people and not just him. I get this overwhelming fear that he is beginning to see that I require a lot out of the supportive people in my life and it is too much for him. I really want to email to these feelings and concerns because I can't stop obsessing over them. However, what if I am contacting him too much? is another email a good thing? If he does get my email this weekend, he will probably not respond in depth to it anyways and will wait until our next session to talk about it. I see him on Tuesday, so it is not as though I have to wait that long to talk to him anyways..

I just feel like I may be on the verge of pushing T overboard and I don't want to do that, but I do want to get these feelings out of my head and him to hear them. WWYD?

Meds frustrate me. I've never found one that makes me feel normal. I've started generic zoloft again and it makes me a zombie (foggy/blank-headed). Why have no true breakthroughs happened in the last 25 yrs?

(((Healed))) I think you should email him


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Yeah, healed, tell him what you said here. I think he'll understand. Chances are he has gone through this with others right?

Healed - I don't think his actions reflect that he wants to get rid of you or that you are too much for him. I think he was trying to (and I do not agree with this - I know some people do) help keep you safe or accounted for because he cannot supervise/watch/ be in touch (whatever way you want to say it) all the time.
I don't see a problem sending the email if you want. And I hope he reassures you if that is what you are looking for.

I don't get the impression you're too much for T. It seems like he is trying to find alternatives to inpatient by getting your husband on board with things.

I don't really agree with what he did, but then I get pissed if "hospital" is even mentioned. So, take that into consideration.

If it helps you, there's no reason not to email him.

Thanks, for the advice! What he did, as far as calling my husband is pretty standard, right? I knew he could do it, but I didn't realize that he would do it without telling me about it first.

I wish that I could get out of this funk that I am in right now.

Whatever happened to Aloneand Afroiad and Mapleton.?

Seems this December is the worst I've ever witnessed. So many friends irl and here are struggling. I hope things improve for all of us soon.

I've heard it done by some members here - so I don't think it's necessarily uncommon. My T has wanted to do it, but he's spoken with me first. The only time, though, was when he was pretty darn certain I was going to go through with it. He later told me it was also the only time he thought he might have put me inpatient (which kinda freaked me out). He talked me down to a point where he felt comfortable with me leaving his office and he just urged me to continue talking to my H about it.

That's my T relationship though and he knows I *will* be open with my H and that my H will call if he doesn't know what to do. For the most part, people let me make my decisions. I was forced into the hospital once six years ago and I have often said I would rather die than go back, sooooooo...

I think most people in my life try to avoid that.

Yeah, I was under the impression that he would at least tell me before he contacted my H. I guess what really bothers me is that I have always been honest with him. I check in with him when he asked, come to extra sessions when he wants me to, I have contacted him when I felt I needed to. I did ask him, why he just didn't wait to talk to me. Because he called my husband first before trying to get in contact with me. After talking to my husband did he then text me and ask me to call and check in with him.

Ugh.. I am so stinking frustrated by this whole situation.

Laws and regulations vary, but I think it is fairly universal that no contact can be made unless you have given your consent. If my T were to contact my H for any reason whatever, I would report him, because that would be a serious breach of professional ethics.

Have you given any kind of consent for your T to contact your H? Not in this case, obviously, since you didn't know he was doing it, but in general terms?

Yep.. it is in the paper work that I filled out at my initial appointment. It was something I was reminded of recently as I was filling out the paper work for my son to be seen at the same practice.

It is done now..he didn't do anything wrong ethics wise. Just thought he could of handled it better with me. Still stewing and still thinking about emailing him.

Hi Everybody. My new meds have kicked it and I have hardly any irritabily or anxiouness but I feeling Like I want to spiral and play down my symptoms with the pdoc. It is still early in the day and the girls haved started fussing and fighting.
I got an email from my friend about some species of frog they found not far from here, The link she gave was an aussie news site but also on the headlines were stories that made me feel very anxious, sick and terrified. It like little people runnning around in side saying :Oh now, help, i can't cope with that. etc.
Enough of my rant.

Last night, I had a dream with hankster in it.

Youve gone over the edge now!

I would love to hear that dream, Stop.

On an unrelated note, I would also love to know why every single keyboard that my husband uses ends up with a space bar that doesn't work. I noticed it on his work computer and our last laptop, and my D complained her space bar was sticking after he used her laptop. I let him use mine earlier today and now I am having to smash down on the space bar to get it to work. WTF does he do?

I am still trying to adjust to the new medication. I started taking one dose at 6 am and the second at 10, and that worked better in terms of my sleep. I am still crashing every afternoon about 4 and just feel completely wiped out and fall asleep if I sit still too long. However, up to that point, I have much more energy than is usual for me and feel pretty happy. I have cleaned a bunch of the house that I have been ignoring because I was just too depressed and tired. I emptied stock tanks and scrubbed and refilled them and actually went over to a friend's to meet a group for dinner and card games (something I have been avoiding). I am trying to touch base periodically with the friend in real life who knows I am on meds to make sure she doesn't think I am becoming manic. She says she thinks 'normal' people probably feel like this all the time -- basically okay and like they can face their chore list without becoming overwhelmingly depressed.

We were at my job and I went from a classroom into hankster's office/room where she was baking something with one of those artificial sugar/artificial fat stuff instead of sugar and butter and wondering why it was not turning out correctly. There was a hot plate that she was cooking on and a bed in her room. Then some nurse like person came in to take hankster's blood sugar levels and told me a student was looking for me. Hankster had her back to me cooking the whole time so I never saw a face.
The dream got weird from there.

I saw some big hostage thing going on in Australia.

OMG SD thanks for pointing that out, I would never have heard of it as I don't listen to radio or watch tv. I think its funny because the Channel 7 newsroom is just across from it. I was only saying to someone the other day that Aussie are too complacent..... 50 hostages made to apparently hold up a Islam banner.