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#901
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Thank you for sharing that, Chris.
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#902
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It has that "pre-snow" smell outside.
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"Take me with you, I don't need shoes to follow, Bare feet running with you, Somewhere the rainbow ends, my dear." - Tori Amos |
![]() unaluna
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#903
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Baby wants snuggles. Bleh.
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Until I fall away I don't know what to do anymore. |
![]() CantExplain
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#904
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My blanket and sheet are all messed up. Silly bed.
__________________
Until I fall away I don't know what to do anymore. |
![]() CantExplain
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#905
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Annoyed that I can't remember my dreams! I'll know it's a good dream & one I need to discuss while I'm in the midst of it and then as soon as I open my eyes it's gone and all I'm left with is the feeling that I need to write it down but can't. Meh. Morning couchies.
*sits in corner and starts racking brain* via tapatalk
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**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
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![]() CantExplain
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#906
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I have never seen a therapist who would listen to dreams. The first one I ever saw back in my early 20s was openly scornful of dream stuff, the second time I tried, about 15 years later (and for only a very few months as the therapist was batshit crazy) the therapist did not want to hear about my nightmares, and the first one I see now kept asking if the nightmares were about me thinking she would not protect me (good lord - not everything is about you therapist. And of course I don't think the woman would protect me. She has actively been the enemy.). I have not bothered telling the second one I see now.
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Feb 16, 2015 at 11:31 AM. |
![]() CantExplain
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#907
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Quote:
I am dismissive avoidant. This type of behavior makes me comfrtable. I also realize my life would be better if i could modify my maladaptive patterns. In my experience, anytime I feel an overwhelming need to claim that something doesnt apply to me, it is usually because it is because it DOES apply to me, at least a little, but I am very invested in maintaining that it isn't so. When i genuinely do not agree or feel something applies to me, i can offer my opinion, or leave it alone. The inner rage is not there. |
![]() JustShakey, unaluna
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#908
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I've not talked about bad dreams at all. I've only had a few and I know why I have them I'm sure. I did have one recently that was awful and made no sense. Not sure I'd waste therapy time on it though.
__________________
Until I fall away I don't know what to do anymore. |
#909
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I have been labeled dismissive/avoidant by the therapist, but I do not think my life would be better if I was not. I think that part rocks. And the therapist has failed/refused to explain how changing that would help with the reason I hired her in the first place. Without that information I have no reason to change something that does not bother me nor that I see any benefit for me in changing.
Of course, the woman has said a couple of times that the fact my life mostly works well for me creates a bit of a hurdle for therapy as I am not desperate enough to buckle under to her whims. Okay that very last part of the last sentence is my interpretation of what she said.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
#910
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I wonder what I'd be labeled as lol
__________________
Until I fall away I don't know what to do anymore. |
#911
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Most of my past T's got all excited falling over themselves with dream-work. CBT is so funny; when telling him a dream that seemed important he was kind of quiet. He acted like "Why are telling me this?". Silly therapists.
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#912
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Quote:
Quote:
via tapatalk
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
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#913
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Quote:
![]() I can't remember what the kind of attachment that I'm labelled as, based on online tests, is called. But to begin with, the tests are rather silly - you get fourteen questions about "do you tell the person about intimate things" and "are you afraid the person will leave you", and then they tell you that "you do not tell this person about intimate things and you are not afraid that they'll leave you" (or the opposite, as the case may be.) It's a lot like the joke "favourite colour" test where you get to choose one out of fifteen shades of colour, and then you are presented with the result, which is the colour you chose. Then, as I've said a bazillion times, there are more than four ways to relate to other people. I know I'm being glib here, but it really feels as if that's what they are implying. And then again, if we accept that there are only four types, I refuse to believe that it is the case that three of those are always and automatically maladaptive. The "secure" type which is what one is supposed to strive for is completely malplaced in most of our relationships - I had a colleague who told everybody everything she was thinking and apparently never feared that people would leave her, and she was not a happy or well adjusted person at all. And there is absolutely nothing wrong if one is "avoidant" or "dismissive" and one's relationships function well anyway. I guess I just really hate anything that tries to force me into a mold (especially one that is based on psychological tests made on people in a foreign culture). And no, nobody is forcing me to participate. And my T has never talked about attachment styles. (I bet my best friend, if he still is that, would like the concept, though.) I don't tell my H about personal things and I'm not afraid he'll leave me. I tell my best friend personal things, and I'm constantly afraid that he'll tire of me. Likewise with T. I'm sure those are different boxes in the model, but neither is particularly bad or wrong, really. |
![]() CantExplain
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#914
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Google for attachment style tests and you'll get a plethora to choose from.
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#915
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Quote:
via tapatalk
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
Last edited by Ellahmae; Feb 16, 2015 at 11:59 AM. |
![]() growlycat
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#916
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All the ones I ever saw for more than one appointment have been psychodynamic but one of those gave a misguided attempt at cbt. She sucked at it and I hated it and told her to never ever try that sort of crap on me again. After grumbling that it was not crap, she agreed. I did go once to a cbt person and we both quickly agreed in the initial appointment it was not for me.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() CantExplain
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#917
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Fearful-avoidant.
__________________
Until I fall away I don't know what to do anymore. |
#918
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I'm fearful-avoidant. I don't need any tests to tell me that either; it's painfully obvious.
__________________
'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
#919
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Got another communique from stbx. That man is a great steaming pile of stupid.
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__________________
'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
![]() Ellahmae, pbutton, unaluna
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![]() CantExplain
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#920
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Quote:
I don't even know what it means. I probably should have read the report part lol
__________________
Until I fall away I don't know what to do anymore. |
#921
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Hugs JS!
__________________
Until I fall away I don't know what to do anymore. |
![]() JustShakey
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#922
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Of course you think that part rocks. I also think that part rocks. It's not like being fearful where it is unpleasant or uncomfortable. Dismissiveness is generally about strength and protection. False strength, but strength nonetheless.
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![]() Ellahmae
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#923
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Quote:
It means you want to be close to people, but you're terrified of being close to people. A constant state of being pulled in two directions at once. I know that the experts say that dismissive-avoidant is just as bad, but I disagree. At least when you're dismissive-avoidant you agree with yourself... Inner conflict is hell on self-esteem.
__________________
'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
![]() CantExplain
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#924
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Quote:
Yeah, this. Honestly, I wish I were dismissive-avoidant. I feel so weak and fractured inside. It's so easy for manipulative people to pull me apart.
__________________
'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
![]() pbutton
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#925
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Quote:
via tapatalk
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
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![]() JustShakey
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Closed Thread |
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