What happens if you refuse??

She will ask me about SI and SUI and I have to tell her the truth. Hopefully by Tuesday, my appointment, my urges will change, but I doubt it. I don't want the help anymore. If I politely refuse even if she doesn't feel I'm safe, what will she do? She can't force me to stay and if she calls the police, what will they do? I really don't want to go through all that crap again with the hospital, but I know that if I even mention any intent, everyone will freak out. Maybe I can hope that she won't ask this time... I hate that I can't lie...

I guess it depends on how bad you hurt yourself. if theyre superficial and she has any sense, she wont do anything but talk to you about it.

if theyre deep, and you show her, and she can see that you need stitches, she could lose her license for not calling the police to say that you are unsafe and need treatment. that will result in a 3 day hold,

alternatively, you can go to ER yourself, be very clear that you are not suicidal, you were just cutting to release stress. they are pretty likely to stitch you up and send you home, but they PROBABLY will want to release you to a family member or friend willing to keep an eye on you for the next 24 hours. if you dont have that they may keep you.

and they may keep you anyway if theyre just assholes who dont understand SI, as sometimes is the case (unfortunately).

My T called the police on me like 4 times? If they come to your house, and you don't want them there, pretend you're not home. They usually leave after 10-15mins. If you answer the door, they cannot enter the premise unless you invite them in, the owner invites them in, they have a warrant or believe someone is legitimately in danger.

I would never want the poloce to take me. They did once and it was a horrible experience. I dissociated, and the police kicked me, dragged me by my arm to put me in a chair, and handcuffed me and put me in the back of the car to go to the hospital. While at the hospital I had to wear an ankle monitor and had a guard outside my room. I wasn't admitted though. And I'd rather voluntarily admit myself than involuntarily. At least then I can leave whenever I want to.

Just FYI - in my jurisdiction - even when a client admits themselves voluntarily, it does not mean they can leave unless the hospital agrees. If the hospital does not want you to leave, they make you involuntary.
I represent a lot of people who did not realize that voluntary is not really.

I know- it depends if they understand si, if you have anyone willing to stay with you and if the people treating you are asses or not. Sometimes you get unlucky. You have to be able to convince them you're not trying to kill yourself

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SG, maybe you could go voluntarily, or do you have a psychiatrist who can help you instead? I guess it all depends on the therapist in context with your risk.

That sounds like it was so traumatizing Scarlet. But you are brave for still utilization inpatient services. I could never go to a hospital for MH issues because i am too terrified due to my trauma history, so I keep some medications on hand for emergencies.

Can of mace? For use against who?

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Let's not add assaulting an officer to the list of things we're being detained for!

I went to the hospital in January for Suicidal intent and it was pretty nice, but I am scared that if I say I'm having strong suicidal thoughts and self injury urges and a plan, I'll have to go back there. I don't want to go back, but I can't lie to her if she asks. I won't bring it up, so if she forgets I'll be in the clearing. So I'm basically trying to think of all the scenarios so I'm prepared. I am just hoping she forgets to ask about either.

She can't force you to show up on Tuesday can she? Are you not able to send an e-mail this weekend or call Monday morning and simply cancel the appointment? Say you got food poisoning, car broke down, random family/friend emergency whatever....?

its admirable you won't lie.

Integrity is beneficial for a peaceful state of mind imo. My conscience burns if I'm deceitful.

Best wishes.

OMG! This is an outrage and disgrace to society. You were treated like a criminal! I feel so bad this happened to you and probably others. You should sue the police for mishandling you. Here you are needing help and you have to be put through this? Where was your counselor? Did they call the police on you? Where is the compassion these so-called professionals are supposed to have?

my old therapist told my parents as they were my next of kin...

Those are really good ideas, but I can't lie. If there isn't a good reason for me to cancel then I can't as it makes me feel evil. Plus my mom wouldn't really let me cancel, I mean she can't force me, but she will be wondering why I decided to. Lying is something that I cannot stand for and try to do as little as humanly possible. Been lied to too many times in my life and to me it's the worse feeling in the world and I can't do that to another person. I know I'm stuck in this situation but I'm keeping my hope in that she forgets to ask about it, but I doubt that will happen.

are you a minor?

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argh Seeking Peace i'm sorry I didn't read all the posts before I sent my opinion to the OP.

Serious ARGGHH... of course his/her not wanting to lie is admirable but we all sometimes tell porkies (porky pies=lies)

I'm starting to think honesty is the best policy that's all... arghh again.

You could cancel because you're "not feeling well." It's true--you're not feeling well. Don't have to specify it's mentally or physically.

But I think it's better to go to your appointment and talk. Hugs!

It's a gray area. Sometimes lying is necessary to protect yourself. Being 100% honest 100% of the time is not wise out in the real world.

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You already know she will ask you about it. I understand your issues with lying. However, as someone else wrote, canceling an appointment b/c you're "not feeling well" is not technically a lie. I think not wanting to be put in a psych unit against your will counts as a "good reason" to cancel but that's just my personal opinion. Also, by lying and canceling, you are not doing anything to the therapist. You are doing something to protect yourself from a situation (ie. potentially being committed against your will) which you feel will be bad for you.

You are not stuck in this situation. You know the pros and cons of both (lying/cancelling versus going in the appointment). As long as YOU are content with your choice, that's all that matters. My thoughts will be with you this week.

100% agreed.

I deal with sui thoughts and sh and certain things like isolation and/or blocking avenues of support from myself tends to make matters worse. I'd hope for things to get better not worse for you!

This sounds like a great time to ask therapist a lot of question about what she would do 'if'...
Maybe start the session saying you will not answer certain questions until you have a discussion about when and why she would report you, what her legal obligations are and what her take is on sui/sh and hospital stays.

If you are a minor, she probably has a legal obligation to report it if you just say you are having the thoughts and have a plan. This does not mean you both can't find ways to talk about it without reports tho.
She may not believe a hospital stay is the best thing for you at this point in time. Sounds like you are not unwilling to go to hospital if you are in serious danger? Sometimes (and I speak for myself here) we aren't always the best judges of when the line has been crossed and it's really good to have a therapist that can help one define what the line is and when it's been crossed even if one (i) don't always see it.

My pdoc knows I have thoughts and plans often. We've talked about it. We're both more concerned with the combination of certain mood symptoms and the thoughts/plans.

I do not know you. For all I know you could really benefit from a hospital stay and that is what will keep you safe right now. I think your therapist is the best judge of this.

I super encourage you to go to appointment and discuss the concerns you raise here about what it means for you to say certain things. For me, it was really helpful to have this discussion with my pdoc. He even discussed some of his perspective on sui thoughts and I was really impressed and reassured by what he said.

Good Luck!

Look. If you say to the therapist you can't make the appointment you are well in your rights to not be pressed on the reasons why.. eg: if she says 'whats up?' You can say with authority* 'I'd rather not go into it right now...lets discuss it at our next meet maybe'..... if she presses you just repeat the sentence. She's being controlling.

Ed: I'd hasten to add 'and an even tone'..you don't need to sound defensive or agitated. Stay calm.

Best wishes

My promise to T is that I'll be at my next appointment. That's all I can promise and he accepts that. If you cant promise that you need more help.

I sooo agree!
If you can't get yourself to this appointment and are dealing with these issues you aren't getting the level of support you need.

I don't have time to respond individually so I will combined them as much as I can. I am not a minor anymore but I just turned 18 a week ago, so my mom still does my appointments and insurance, and since she came from a European culture, 18 is just a number to her :P I still respect her advice and after talking to her today about trying to get out of this session, she said no. Thankfully she didn't push for the reasons as much as she usually does.

A part of me wants to go, but the majority wants to run. I feel like I am in a constant battle with myself in trying to get help or run away from it. I will have to really think about what I am going to say to her. I know that these thoughts don't lighten up over time with me, so by Tuesday, I'll probably be the same way. I just wish that if I had to tell her, that I can just lightly refuse extra help, even if she really thinks I need it or am not safe. That would make life so much easier.