Couch 95: No title required

I'm in a similar med situation as you are--not taking anything right now but seeing a pdoc for the first time in years on Mon. CBT T says it might help me make faster progress.

Well, the boy finally asked for food a short while ago. He wanted chicken nuggets, so I made him an early lunch. He had chicken nuggets, veggie chips, and green grapes. He's funny with the veggie chips. He eats them one color at a time.

The juice mix his mom has him drink sounds gross too but he seems to like it. His juice mix is 1/3 orange juice, 1/3 white grape juice, 1/3 prune juice, and a splash of cherry juice.

Good for you Mast!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Petpet passed away last night. Her head injury was more severe than I hoped. I'm heartbroken and feel responsible since I let her outside that day.

Oh, I am so sorry, BayBrony. My heart goes out to you. Please know that you are not responsible. She was a wild animal at heart. She would have been miserable if you never let her go outside. You gave her an amazing life.

I'm so sorry, BB.

You were an amazing parent to petpet. My heart is with you. I'm so sorry.

I am sorry to hear about the raccoon. It is so hard to lose a pet.

Baybrony, so sorry. but at least she knew she was back at home.

Thank you everyone.
She used to be willing to wear a harness and go for walks safely in the woods but in the last year she started refusing to put it on ( and if she refuses you really can't make her). So for a while she was not getting time outside because we couldn't do it safely. Finally she was so unhappy I started letting her out in our fenced back yard. She usually just played for a few hours and came home . She never climbed the fence. For some reason this time she did. I feel terrible.

Meanwhile in my opinion my T totally blew today's session

So sorry, BB. You gave her a good life though, not every raccoon is able to be as spoiled as you let her be. It's not your fault she climbed the fence, it was probably instinct. I hope you remember the happy times with her.

Well, I sorta-kinda got called into work tonight, but not exactly.

I just got a call from another CVS saying they were short tonight so they called my store to see if they might have a tech available to work tonight. My pharmacy manager gave them my name and number saying I deserved extra hours and was an excellent worker. They asked if I could help them out tonight from 4-9 (they are not 24-hour, so the pharmacy does close at 9). I agreed. So, I didn't get called into MY store, but I did get called into another store. So, I sorta-kinda goit called in.

The store I got called into is 40 minutes away from my home store, but only 20 minutes away from me, so it's no more of a drive for me than going to my home store. It's back up near C's, so I will get to drive up that way for the 2nd time today.

I won't have a name tag, as mine is on my labcoat back at my store. I do have a spare labcoat at home though that I can wear tonight. CVS requires techs to be dressed professionally and wear a labcoat. Other pharmacies in the area require techs to wear scrubs. I would much rather wear normal clothes and a labcoat. I had to wear scrubs to class every night during my program, I am sick of scrubs, they are uncomfortable.

Well, I better go get dressed for work tonight, and eat something to hold me over till I get home. I will check back in when I arrive home from filling in at tonight's store.

Darn i shoulda gone to pharmacy tech school not manicure school!! Stupid stupid stupid! I had to learn about germs and chemicals and skin and bones and stuff either way i think! I mean my family and everybody discouraged me from going to nail school butthey didnt have any other suggestions. And i did like it.

Eta - main point of which is, i need help. And i needed help. So weird.

!

Oh no! I'm sorry Brony
Please don't be blaming yourself. Sometimes sh^tty things just happen


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

What does Snoopy mean when he says, "It is a maxim of civil law that definitions are hazardous"?

BayBrony so sorry to hear your news.
Evening couch. I am tired, but have just written another letter to T. I burnt the last one. So now I just have to keep away from this one for six days.....then give it to T.....

Hope you're all okay. I've eaten some jalapeño crisps and now my ears are hot

Do you really want to tempt fate?

BB I'm so sorry to hear about pet pet. Sending healing energy and hugs your way.

Mine, too!

BB, I'm sorry about petpet! You did give her an amazing life and she knew she was loved.
❤️

Took young dog on a walk/run the last two nights. She is quite happy we have started running again. Restarting the couch to 5k program. This makes three days in a row I have exercised. Trying to be conscientious about implementing my super deep dark depression prevention program. T and I came up with a plan of action that includes exercise, emailing reliable friends and avoiding texting or emailing certain people when I am feeling low. T urges me to make him part of the plan but I am resisting that.

Watching Jurassic Park on tv. Wow what a great movie!! Plus that year for my nephews birthday i had an old joke "ice cube with a bug in it" that some random guy had given me in college like 20 years earlier right? So it was all yellowed and shriveled up and i gave it to the kid and he believed it was dinosaur dna preserved in amber - for a moment, anyway. Just the best moment of auntie hanksters life.

Evening, couch.

I am home and relaxed. I always feel so out of place in other stores, but I survived. The same tech of theirs that called out tonight because she was puking all day is still puking and called out tomorrow morning while I was there tonight. I was asked to cover, but I declined because it overlapped with when I was suppposed to be at my store. Valid reason. Even if there wasn't overlap, I probably still would have declined because I don't want to work all day and night. They understood my declining. They teased that their store was better and I should call out sick on my store to work for them. I knew they were kidding of course.

Need to try to clean some more tomorrow morning before I go into my store in the afternoon. Going into a store to fill in tonight took away from my cleaning. Oh well, I probably would have found something else to do anyways, so I might as well have been making money.

It was a slow store, but they were all acting like it was extremely busy tonight. Strange how the norm for some stores is busy for others. My store wouldn't know what to do if we had a night like the store I was in tonight had. We'd all be playing tiddly-winks or soemthing.

Back to my store tomorrow afternoon/night. I like my store. I feel at home there.

Maybe I will try to clean at least a tiny bit tonight. I don't know why I have so much resistance against getting the job done. Very strange. I wish I knew.

Well, I need to stop blabbing. I just don't have anyone to talk to. I miss my old T an being able to bounce things off her between sessions. The "new" T only allows contact outside of sessions for emergencies and even then, you have to call her answerign service who will call her with the message. I miss being able to have email contact and a cell number. I guess my first/old T spoiled me. Okay, I need to quit thinking about her before I start crying about her retirement again. She has the right to retire, she is 74. I guess I just am being selfish wanting her to practice forever. I guess I have attachment issues, she was more like a mother to me than my own mother was. There's still the chance of seeing her occassionally as a customer, she uses the pharmacy I work at, so there is always that possibility. I don't know how I would react if it were to happen, but I will worry about that when it does happen. And my "new" therapist thinks I don't need therapy anymore, if only she knew how deep some of my issues/struggles are. Maybe she will see that after being in contact with my old T. Hopefully she does, I don't know how to deal with my stuggles on my own without just shutting down and turning everything off. That's not real healthy to do. Since I cannot email and am terrible at bringing things up in session, maybe I will snail-mail a letter to new T. She will still get it before my next session and then she will know what we need to talk about and will hopefully bring it up next session. I want to come out of my shell, but it feels so difficult to do. I would rather pull my head inside and stick to myself and hide my true self from the rest of the world. I have no friends to hang out with. Sure I talk to my co-workers when I am at work at my home store, but I am not friendly enough with them to hang out with them outside of work. That goes for both jobs...school and CVS. So, I lock myself in my room and sit on the computer or sleep. Yes, I will occassionally sit in the living room with M-A and watch TV, but we really don't talk, we are just both out there. M-A doesn't get out much either as she is supposed to take it easy still after having knee surgery a few months ago, so it's not like I could go to a movie or soemthing with her. I hate my lack of social skills. I want to be normal. I hate being so reserved. I just don't know how to turn my personality upside down and be normal. So, away I sit at being aloof and distant.

Ok, I will really shut up now.