Couch 95: No title required

Ditto.

So far today, young dog snagged her collar on a stack of lumber and in struggling to get free, pulled the stuff over on her. She is really sore. My D has been vomiting. Just one of those days, I guess.

My newest patient. Mom was rescued from slaughter transport 3 weeks ago. He was born last night. Lively, healthy and adorable!!

How cute, BB!

What is his name? Is he yours?

That Mommy and Baby are soo lucky to have been saved!

No I do the veterinary work for several rescues. His mom was rescued from the slaughter transport by one of them last month. I am just doing the new baby check up

Aww, so cute! Is he a little mule?
What was a pregnant mare doing on a slaughter transport btw?

Jeez, me too!

I'll tell you mine (You all know I am not shy about talking about me me me )
My daughter is driving me crazy!! The more I try to do what I think will make her happy, the unhappier she becomes. If I don't do anything...she complains about that, too! Auugh!

No he is an Arab cross looking at his mother who is all Arabian in appearance.
You'd be surprised the animals we get out of slaughter transports. Pregnant mares are not uncommon. I always wish they could talk and tell us how they came on such hard times. The mother is well behaved, sound and we'll put together. I often can't make sense of how certain horses end up thrown away

Hes so cute! Hes got a little mustache!!

The long ears and the fuzzy little tail threw me off

Throwing animals away Well, I guess considering the amount of people who seem to view other people as things, it's not surprising that this sort of stuff happens to animals all the time

This is my for the day. I have lost yet another piece of paper that I need to find. My house is over-run with paper. There is so much paper everywhere. I am totally overwhelmed with paper. I'm 52 years old and I have no clue what papers I am supposed to keep for a long time and so I keep everything. I think I need to invest in an organize-everything kind of book. Maybe this is an issue I should have addressed in therapy.

I am really questioning my sanity right about now. I swear I remember PUTTING this piece of paper in an empty folder in the back of the top drawer of our filing cabinet, I even remember thinking it will be easy to find here because there is nothing else in the folder and it's in the back. But it's NOT THERE. Was I hallucinating? Am I hallucinating now? Why do I keep losing important papers? What is wrong with me? Argh.

I hate paper. It's my kryptonite.
I have a couple of messenger bags stuffed full of important paperwork. Every time I need a particular paper I have to dig through both of them looking for it. I try to organize them every so often, but it never works...

I do not feel like being touched right now. The seven year old is sprawled all over me and I'm having to steel myself not to snap at her.

Did it fall down the back of the cabinet? Or slip down to the bottom of the drawer?

Good thought but nope.... I pulled out all the folders.... there was a bunch of junk under there, but not the one thing I need. I threw away a ton of junk though. I'm hoping I can obtain a copy.

I have managed to calm myself down. I really thought I was losing it earlier. That is such a terrible-awful feeling because I do not want to go back there. Ever. How could a stupid piece of paper that I can likely get a copy of make me feel like that? Perhaps a better question, is why did I let it? I am off to journal and ponder on that question.

WOOHOO!!! American Pharaoh is the Triple Crown Winner!!!!!! Amazing race!!

ok i'm going to spam the couch one last time this evening and share that evidently I either dreamed that I put the paper in the filing cabinet, or thought about doing it so hard that I thought I actually did it. Anyway I found it. Apparently hubby threw it away (!) on accident, I decided to look in the garbage just in case, it wasn't in the garbage in the house, but I went out to the garbage can in the garage (hi baby birdies!) and opened up the one bag in the can, and there it was. Practically right on top. Whew! I am so glad I found it. Perhaps it was supposed to happen like this. I got another chance to use the skills t taught me to calm myself the heck down. And, figured out the next thing I am going to work on in myself - organi-freakin-zation!!!!! Thanks for bearing with me through my little panic attack.

I saw that too! Woohoo!

I am falling apart this second. I already wrote this in therapy forum but I am trying to keep typing to keep the pain at bay. It is so bad that I usually take 2 Xanax when stress is bad and it calms or puts me to sleep. Over the last 2 hours I have taken 3 and it isn't doing anything. I tried to trust my t based on what we have been talking about and sent him a text about some crazy stuff happening today. he responded very generically and not about what I was stressing over and then I responded that I was completely falling apart, in a panick (cptsd) and then dared say words I have not said in over 20 years.. I finished the text saying I was scared. He HAS to know how hard that was for me. That was over 2 hours ago and no reply. I am not a huge texter.. I have had probably 6 panic texts and 10 -15 apologies for thing I felt I messed up in session and he used to answer immediately and encouragingly... I have noticed a major decrease in how fast he answers, what he says and today... even after I decided to trust him and risk saying point blank that I was scared (which I never trust people or ask for help) he just left me hanging.

Evening couch. Well, no cleaning today (what's new). I slept in till 30 minutes before I had to leave for work (and I didn't have to leave until 2:30pm). I went to work and was fine. I was hungry after work, so I went to my favorite restaurant for a bite to eat. Then came home and am exhausted and feel like sleeping again. What is wrong with me?!? Why am I sleeping so much?!? Why can't I finish a task that needs completed?!? Maybe it has to do with having not taken the meds I still take pills for in about 3 or 3.5 weeks. Maybe it is catching up with me. I just can't remember to take them until it is too late, so I just choose not to. Maybe that is what pdoc meant last visit when he said I could not be trusted to take pills and needed to stay on the injection for the one medication. This is not the first time this has happened.

I want to be normal. Why do I self-sabatoge and not take my medication and end up feeling miserable? Guess it's something else to tackle in therapy. Dang, the list is getting long.

Hmm.. Thanks to those who suggested meetup.com.

I just looked for around my area and they are all sports meetups (5Ks, fishing, surfing), seniors events, or UFO's. None fit me. I am not a senior, so those are out. I am not athletic and hate sports, so those are out. And I don't believe in UFO's so that would be a bad choice for me. Oh well...it was worth a shot.

I can totally relate to this. I hope you can get some air soon, and a little space to yourself. It's tough with kids, sigh, sometimes.

Sometimes I have the same issue with my nearest meet up offerings. Lots of baby and me mommy meet ups. Anything I want to do is far away.

However, these do seem to change from time to time