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#1
May 07, 2007, 02:04 PM
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I won't be seeing my therapist until the 18th due to his being booked and my schedule too.
I just feel like I can't wait and need to see him now. But wouldn't this be failing myself? Part of me knows that I need to be on my own for awhile. I don't want to though. I'm going back/forth about being angry at myself or him...he didn't do anything. He was just booked this week. But I'm thinking maybe he really wasn't booked and wanted to put space between my sessions... I'm miserable today sorry... This is all I want to do right now. I'm thinking it is because I haven't been able to do it in front of him. I'm always trying to make him think I'm fine...I'm not. 
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My new blog http://www.thetherapybuzz.com "I am not obsessing, I am growing and healing can't you tell?" |
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#2
May 07, 2007, 02:13 PM
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Hello Almeda.
I am sorry that you are struggling at this time. Journaling is a good exercise for people that have a hard time expressing themselves in sessions. Journaling also helps to put things, thoughts, and feelings in a comprehensive and more understandable realm, so you can really see what you need to be talking about with your therapist. If you do have an emergency then you do need to call the Dr and see about getting in earlier than the 18th. Take care Almeda. soidhonia
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The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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#3
May 07, 2007, 02:18 PM
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This is more than okay. It is OKAY to be angry at him. If you tend to always make him think you are fine in session, I would suggest writing a letter to him RIGHT NOW to capture your emotions AT THIS VERY MOMENT. It's really important because you might not be able to re-capture it at your session. If you write a letter now, and read it at your session, it may bring back some of the emotion, and that would be great. To get angry at him in session is to be on your own. It means that you are able to own your emotions in front of him. And that you don't feel as if you need to be "okay" just so he'll think your fine. If you allow yourself do deviate from that, you have taken a step towards autonomy.
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#4
May 07, 2007, 02:26 PM
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I like the idea of writing a letter.... Sometimes when I feel bad I type something up and fax it right then. I do think that doing it now does capture the emotions.
Do you wish to see if he can see you sooner? I would ask for a regular time to come on a regular basis unless he would like to do it differently. I think you could ask for an earlier time but capturing your emotions right now is important. I know sometimes I wonder if he really gets it...and by faxing a note or at least writing it...I know that I have shared to the best of my ability. |
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#5
May 07, 2007, 02:53 PM
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I just called and left a message. I hate this. I don't want to need him and be this vulnerable. I wrote all of this down but reading it might be another thing. Maybe I'll just hand it to him...
I'll bet they won't even call back. I figured out its the words "graduation" and "boundaries" that trigger this. I want to smack him every time he says either of those words. But I could never really smack him. So what and who is this about????? Why is it that for some reason I'm not worthy of someone worrying about me and being there for me? I can't get it from him, my dad or my husband... My T has clients right now he's had for years...but when it comes to me...I hear graduation and boundaries...why?????
__________________
My new blog http://www.thetherapybuzz.com "I am not obsessing, I am growing and healing can't you tell?" |
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#6
May 07, 2007, 03:02 PM
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Males.... anything significant there...? Sometimes we pick mates that are like our dads...
Maybe a transference thing going on. Tell him what you are feeling and experiencing. |
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#7
May 07, 2007, 03:07 PM
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I bet he's talking about graduation because he realizes how well you're doing. I also think it's a really good sign that he is kind of pushing you out of the nest a little bit - that sounds to me like he wants to ensure that you don't become too dependent on him. He sounds like a good therapist.
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#8
May 07, 2007, 03:16 PM
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almedafan, it seems that often you are the one who brings up graduation and boundaries in your therapy sessions. Maybe your T is just following your lead and discussing topics that are important to you, that you need to work on. If you present other topics for discussion, maybe he will follow your lead. It is up to you to choose the topic(s) for your session. If he insists on bringing up graduation, can you try saying, "I'd rather not talk about that topic again this session, I have other issues I'd like to work on today." (e.g. your issues surrounding your husband)
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#9
May 07, 2007, 03:20 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said: This is more than okay. It is OKAY to be angry at him. If you tend to always make him think you are fine in session, I would suggest writing a letter to him RIGHT NOW to capture your emotions AT THIS VERY MOMENT. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Well I wrote it down. Thanks Pink for the suggestion. I just want out of this cycle today, right now!
__________________
My new blog http://www.thetherapybuzz.com "I am not obsessing, I am growing and healing can't you tell?" |
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#10
May 07, 2007, 03:23 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SecretGarden said: Males.... anything significant there...? Sometimes we pick mates that are like our dads... Maybe a transference thing going on. Tell him what you are feeling and experiencing. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> He is acting just like the two of them right now. He is just as distant or so it appears. The last words he said last week to me were 'don't obsess' meaning after the session. I wasn't obsessing at the moment. Although we had our debate over whether or not I know him. All I said this time was 'I know enough' and this lead to the words graduation and boundaries...The context was I can't know anything about him until I graduate...then he'll tell me. Then what? I never see him again?
__________________
My new blog http://www.thetherapybuzz.com "I am not obsessing, I am growing and healing can't you tell?" |
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#11
May 07, 2007, 09:30 PM
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No call back?
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#12
May 07, 2007, 10:48 PM
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No, they didn't call back. I am beyond hurt right now. I do try to think well maybe he's busy or even out of town. I doubt it though.
Tomorrow is another day. I just have so much to talk about right now. I'm afraid if I don't do it, the moment will pass...
__________________
My new blog http://www.thetherapybuzz.com "I am not obsessing, I am growing and healing can't you tell?" |
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#13
May 07, 2007, 11:22 PM
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Are you journaling or writing a letter ... do it NOW.
I am sorry Almeda... I know it is frustrating. |
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#14
May 08, 2007, 10:02 AM
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Yes I have been journaling and trying to capture the emotions. A lot of this has to do with my husband too. There has been a development and I really need to talk to my T...
My message to my T's office was 'can you call me and let me know if something has opened up this week?'...maybe this wasn't direct enough but I don't want to be pushy. He has other clients and a life too.
__________________
My new blog http://www.thetherapybuzz.com "I am not obsessing, I am growing and healing can't you tell?" |
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#15
May 08, 2007, 01:34 PM
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Maybe he took that as...only call if there is an opening... if not, don't call. I sure hope he does call, though, so you can hear his voice.
Incidentally, how many more times am I going to call my T's voicemail and not leave a message? You were brave to call. |
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#16
May 08, 2007, 02:36 PM
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Almeda,
Don't know if you finally heard or called again but I just want to let you know that I don't think it's a failure. It's taking care of your needs. I too challenge myself to stay away as if it were some sort of test of my ultimate control of myself. i don't think that it's so good though, I think it's really a reluctance to be close. I hope you called again, if that's what you need. 
__________________
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#17
May 08, 2007, 03:36 PM
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I haven't gotten the call yet and haven't tried again. I'm afraid he'll be mad or think I'm being to needy again...
__________________
My new blog http://www.thetherapybuzz.com "I am not obsessing, I am growing and healing can't you tell?" |
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