New t asks the strangest questions

I n t e r e s t i n g . . .

I'd say if you are okay with it, then go with it and see how things go.
Personally, I hate it when my dog licks my face and I LOVE her! . . . .I can't even imagine licking myself But everyone needs different things and if it works, then it's okay.

Somehow I don't think therapy should move faster than the third date rule...

Thank you for all of the responses. This t takes risks and does things differently, I know that it might not suit everyone but I think I need it right now. She is gestalt but that is part of the existential branch of therapy.
She also mentioned kissing other places, she is a bit naughty and tries to bring out that side of me that has been repressed and somewhat dead for a long time!

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I wasn't saying that I thought the act of lickng oneself would be infantilising. I was meaning that being led by ones T in therapy, could be infantilising. For me, I don't want these kind of suggestions, I want my therapy to use my own ideas and beliefs about life and relationships as the starting point.

Glad to hear this is in agreement with what you need.

I was gonna nominate this for the best thread of the year, but now THIS is definitely the best post of the year! best of the best!

My apologies Brown Owl. I was not specifically referring to your specific post, and I was not clear at all. I was more responding to the "ick" factor that this therapist elicits. I just see the OP's post as one more thing in a therapist toolbox, whether it be touch, text, check-ins, etc., to help a client go through the process of healing. What may work for one client may not work for another, and also many clients are afraid to take risk, because of the infantalizing label.

Again, sorry it seemed aimed at you. I appreciate your responses and take a lot away from them.

Hahaha, this made me laugh!!!!!
Thank you for putting a smile on my face. This is moving a bit fast for me. I don't lick till usually the fifth date

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I was a bit shocked when I first read this but my T is existential and I have a friend who's worked in Gestalt. I have learned to work with big ideas and lots of information. Maybe it takes us out of our comfort zones. The Universe does not put things in boxes and label things , We do.

Just reading about your therapist and her doing the tomb stones and wanting to hold your hand during the 2nd session and telling you to imagine licking yourself and kissing yourself makes me uncomfortable. I would have been running out of that room before the session was up. It does not sound right to me.

If you are ok with it and it works for you, then that is great.

KING. Why do you put labels onto everything to justify your feelings?

BECKET. Because, without labels, the world would have no shape, my prince.

KING. Is it so important for the world to have a shape?

BECKET. It's essential, my prince, otherwise we can't know what we're doing.

Becket by Jean Anouilh

I guess it's a different dynamic because I will be a qualified t in June and t knows this and she treats me different to normal clients.
Sometimes I think I get more confused by the messages I get from her because they are kinda flirty or something but then I think that's just how she is with everyone. There is something about her.

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This is very true, why do we have to put labels on everything, why can't we just except things as they are anymore?

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This is exactly it, gestalt works differently. It works with big ideas and big experiments that have a shock value but it really gets to the heart of things quickly.

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"Otherwise we can't know what we're doing"
They are needed. The world needs shape.

Yes it is oddly helpful..... It's confusing as to why exactly it is helpful for me

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But we also need imagination and creativity and the freedom to choose without putting labels on things

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I think you and SD may be defining labels differently.

The second appointment?!!This T is WAY too aggressive and ahead of everything about you. She definitely needs to go back into training or she's going to send someone to the hospital who's even slightly ill mentally. I would be so afraid I would get into a Transference relationship with this creep and end up in the psych ward very soon! I can see legal actions against her, even, if she doesn't cut this explicit stuff out with new patients. She reminds me of the pop psychology where all you have to do is be your own good parent and everything will be OK. Not.

It wouldn't be for me. IF I didn't walk out right then and there, I definitely would not have returned.

If you are comfortable with it and it seems helpful . . . But you mentioned she seemed to be flirty and treating you differently as well as you also feel she is moving fast. That concerns me because of your history of issues with other therapists. Just don't ignore your own warning signals.

I said I would try but I think she meant figuratively ( although she did lick herself as she said it).
I was a really shocked by it but at the same time intrigued by it. See, with other ts I have never been able to discuss sex and as that is such a big part of my problem, her being so open about it helps!

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I am actually confused about it all, hence why it helps but also scares me because it is moving so fast and I feel lick she is flirting with me. See, I do always end up getting erotic transference towards my older female ts and I knew that they were never available for anything only to be my t in the confines of a t client relationship. This is somewhat different, realistically I know she is married and has kids but she is in an open relationship. She has asked me very personal questions and is very touchy feely. I always wanted a t to touch me but now that she has i am scared and excited. Boundaries are important and I feel like hers are too loose too quick. It doesn't feel like a t client relationship.
Thank you for pointing this out and helping me to process it a bit more Lolagrace

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It doesn't matter one iota what I think - if it's working for you, then I'm happy for you and best wishes.

Confused , scared and excited are the words that jump out to me. Maybe your gut feeling is caution? It does seem a little fast. I got burnt by a T , though not in the same circumstances - horrible.

I would have probably lost my last meal on her shoes if she were my T. I definitely wouldnt go back...especially seeing as it was only the 2nd visit. Then again I have a very strong avoidance of anything that "intimate" self or otherwise.

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